Still Gotta Come Through Chicago
Bears Fans, IT IS Different This Time
Happy Friday Chicago!
The good in April was almost completely marred by Foxtrot and Dom’s Market closing suddenly in Chicago.
Where are people to go to enjoy overpriced coffee, peanut butter cups not branded by Reese’s, and vaguely rude employees to serve them both, if not for Foxtrot and Dom’s?
Kitty-corner from the first Dom’s Market in Lakeview is a Burger King with half of her outdoor lights inoperative, a burger machine that spits out Whoppers in front of you magically, and two spanish-speaking sweethearts working there all day every day. That place has a line of construction workers out the door come opening time, is still in business, and — at least I’ve heard — makes a mean oreo shake with unadulterated love late night.
On one corner, the poorly lit Burger King sign dances along the dark sky come 6 a.m. — still. On the other corner, various assortments of sparkling water lie alone with no one to drink them.
Sometimes good does prevail.
So much has happened since we last spoke. Of course, the Bears may have changed the course of their franchise, for real this time.
I left you last with a hype speech about the Bulls making the playoffs, and was already hypothesizing a theoretical kidnapping of Jayson Tatum’s son, Deuce, for the first-round of the playoffs if the Bulls were to advance. This would be a non-violent kidnapping, of course. By the time the FBI nixed our plans, the Bulls would be up 3-2 headed back to Chicago for Game 6.
But, alas, they lost by about 40 that night to the Heat.
Since then, Alex Caruso has won Hustle Player of the Year, which I just know is racist, but I can’t figure out against who more: white people or black people. I’ll let you know as soon as possible.
That’s about the only accolade the Bulls came away with this year, other than another trip to the play-in tournament and a runner-up in the Clutch Player of the Year award for DeMar DeRozan.
Two weeks ago, a 10-year-old kid from Chicago made fun of me for being a Bulls fan. After I dismissed the urge to cry and leave a print of my hand across his cheek, I evoked some wisdom and Teddy Roosevelt on him.
The Bulls may never be great in my conscious lifetime, just like the Bears may never be. But, if they ever are, you and I will have earned it. All those agonizing losses, all of that mismanagement, all of it will be worth it. All of those lows will make that high so, so much better.
There is no Caleb Williams without Luke Getsy, without Mitch Trubisky, without Matt Nagy, without Marc Trestman, without Mike Glennon, without Brian Griese, without Cody Parkey, without Rex Grossman, without Chad Hutchinson, without Ted Phillips, and even without George McCaskey.
Caleb Williams would exist, of course. But the way he exists in a lifelong Bears fan’s mind can only be because of everything else. Everything we’re not made him everything he is, to us, right now.
When the Bears trotted out someone to say a prayer before the unveiling of their new stadium plans last week, while everyone started to clown them, I thought, ‘Well, we’ve tried everything else.’
If the higher power has been unhappy with you for forty years, you may as well roll the dice to see if you can get the Big Man back on the right side.
The power of a solid five-year Bears run hasn’t been studied. It’s like the very deepest depths of the ocean, living people literally do not know what lies within that world.
The 1980s Bears had five straight double-digit win seasons, but won the Super Bowl in the second year. The aura had worn off by Year Five. In the 2000s, the Bears have only had back-to-back 10-or-better win seasons once, in 2005 and 2006.
A city deficit could be destroyed. A tunnel just may take you to and from O’Hare. City violence may be just stories we tell our children and grandchildren about.
These are the thoughts that came about as my head hit the hay Thursday night, and on Monday morning as I kissed babies, hugged my doorman and did pirouettes down the street on the way to get a coffee.
None of this is close to guaranteed, of course. Here’s the caveat: It’s the Bears.
But that’s entirely missing the point. This entire offseason, we get to rid ourselves of caveats and think of the world we want to live in, not the one we do live in.
Because us Bears fans, the ones that go through and through, we are the men and the women in the arena.
We aren’t the the 10-year-old who cheers for Steph Curry and Lamar Jackson. To hell with that kid. He is the critic that does not count. He is the child who points out how the strong man (me) stumbles, how the Bears and Bulls fan stumbles.
The credit belongs to us, the men and the women in the arena, whose faces are marred by dust, sweat and blood underneath a coat of half blue and half orange.
When the Bears acquired Jay Cutler, there was hope. There was hope with Mitch Trubisky, and plenty of hope with Justin Fields — who we owe for being good enough to grace Ryan Poles with patience to pass up on Bryce Young.
But this feels different, and I say that from a place of authority. It just does.
It may not work out, but here’s to knowing that if it does, the ecstasy attached to that success will be unrivaled.
Tonight, I’m going to kick my feet up, paint my nails, put lipstick on, watch Lana Del Rey and Billie Eilish sing each other’s songs at Coachella on my television, and think of the future. All with a pizza the size of half my studio apartment well within arm’s reach.
And not one a single soul can stop me, not a Packer fan, not a fair-weather fan, and certainly not some kid who thinks the sports world is a card game where the aces are turned over and for the taking.
BEAR DOWN. Let’s go.
A quick break from our normally formatted newsletter to update you on LeBron James’ yearly end-of-season antics.
You may remember last year, when I chronicled all of LeBron’s season-ending excuses, diversions and assholery, dating back to 2011.
I am overjoyed to say we have yet another entry for 2024.
A quick recap of where we left off, in 2023.
After a 4-0 series loss to the Denver Nuggets, LeBron James suggested directly after the final game that he may retire. Immediately, that became the dominant NBA news of the day, at least for the people dense enough to fall for the same tricks over and over.
Shams Charania — an NBA “reporter” who mostly parrots agents’ talking points — shortly thereafter “reported” that LeBron played through a significant foot injury throughout the playoffs. I wonder how that got to Shams?
This year, Bron Bron followed a similar path. He, during game 5, writhed in pain on the ground for the second time in the series, displaying theatrics he hoped may grant him a warrior card. Did he break his ankle? He looks hurt! Oh no, he’s up! And now he’s waving off the substitution! Oh, okay, he’s fine.
After a reporter asked if it was potentially his last game with the Lakers, he paused (and screamed THANK YOU FOR ASKING! in his head) and then said, “Ummm, I’m not going to answer that,” as he smiled.
Then, a bewildered LeBron tweeted to clear things up. Other people were making it a thing, not him, per usual.
Love, King. Spoken like a truly humble, well-adjusted grown man.
When he does inevitably stay, and has his 10th coach fired (it was his fault), we’ll be back next year for another round of What Did LeBron Do At The End Of The Season To Make It About Him? See you then!
What a night. What. a. night!
Right after I began writing this section, I went back to read my season-ending newsletter to ground me.
What a week, Bears fans. What a week. How silly, foolish, and childish we are. I, Sisyphus, and you, Sisyphus, rolled that rock up the hill with vigor last week, didn’t we? And it came right back down the hill faster than ever Sunday afternoon, didn’t it?
It appears I’m unoriginal, but that also feels like the perfect juxtaposition of the two clashing moods between Jan. 12 and May 2.
It’ll be genuinely hard to break down all my thoughts here in a professional way, but I am going to give a go at it.
This is also what I wrote two weeks ago, to back up the gushing that’s about to transpire.
They are going to pick Caleb Williams, and I want Malik Nabers or Rome Odunze at no. 9.
We knew the Bears were going to pick Williams, and even that gave me a rush of euphoria. But the Odunze pick took me to another level.
When does this sort of stuff happen to us? It took the Atlanta Falcons staying pat and drafting fucking Michael Penix to be their backup QB for it all to work out.
I think Odunze has the highest floor out of almost any player in the draft. There’s no doubt in my mind he’ll be an immediate contributor, and I would bet a lot of money that he turns out to be a 10-plus-year pro barring injury. If you watched him at all in college, if you’ve watched any of his film, if you’ve read or listened to any of the conversation surrounding him, it becomes clear that there’s just no way he becomes a bust.
What’s more, the Bears aren’t relying on him to be superman right off the bat. Could he be? I think so. But the Bears have an embarrassment of riches for the first time — maybe ever — since they had Alshon Jeffery, Brandon Marshall, Matt Forte, and Martellus Bennett. And then, we didn’t have Caleb Williams or a defense that could stop anybody.
Somehow, I think D.J. Moore actually remains underrated. The seasons he’s had with average to below average quarterback play is nothing short of incredible. The talk of whether or not he’s a #1 was washed away last year, but should be blown off the face of the earth if Williams becomes what we think he will become.
One of my favorite parts of Ryan Poles is how he approaches drafts. He lets the draft come to him, and he seems to understand the intricacies and differences between each draft. In most other drafts, a third wide receiver off the board is not worth taking. In this one, that was not the case.
In most drafts, taking a punter in the fourth round would be an abomination, but between the Bears team needs, their somewhat meager draft capital in this year’s draft, and the actual players in this draft (and NIL money keeping certain players in college another year), it’s not.
Outside of the ridiculous QB picks in the first half of the first round, a defensive player wasn’t taken until late because the draft talent was so shifted toward offense. As for linemen, without Joe Alt there, there was no reason to reach for O-Line depth. Taking, say, Ola Fashanu with the ninth pick would have been overthinking it.
The Bears got the best player on the board at no. 9 and also turned the offense into as close as it gets to rookie heaven for a QB that’s rated higher than any QB since either Trevor Lawrence or Andrew Luck, whichever way you want to look at it.
Immediately, Williams is going to have a veteran, surefire back and three receivers that know what they’re doing. It sucks for Justin Fields, but no one will be running errant routes on the Bears offense anymore, semi-looking for Williams’ passes.
Any creeping thought of “the Bears will remain the Bears” is washed away when you look at the weapons on the Bears offense. On paper is on paper, but there’s no way that the paper doesn’t come to fruition over the next few years. Like, every time you think of the offense, you inevitably forget someone. Oh, Keenan Allen too!
That’s a far cry from the days of trying to remember the actual name of the Bears third wide out.
We all understand, too, that the O-Line needs to be there for the Bears to have a top-5 offense, which sounds crazy, but is the ultimate goal.
Of course, even after a week, I know next to nothing about Kiran Amegadije, the offensive tackle we took out of Yale in the third round.
But I go back to process. Poles knew the offensive line remained a priority. He addressed it pretty considerably in free agency, but here, instead of taking a run-of-the-mill, lesser SEC or Big Ten prospect, he went with an Ivy League project.
I’ve watched plenty of film, and was not shocked to see the 6-foot-5, 326-pound Ivy League offensive lineman dominating defensive ends and tackles.
He’ll start on the bench, but if he develops, there’s a myriad of possibilities for him, that range from starting at tackle over Braxton Jones or much-needed depth across the front.
The Bears have good offensive linemen at this point. The key, now, is to backfill depth with solid pieces, shuffling out the problem guys that had Fields running for his life the last few years. Poles is doing just that.
I personally wouldn’t be surprised if Amegadije took Jones’ spot, although I don’t think Jones is *bad*.
Alright, next up. Tory Taylor, punter from Iowa. Get your jokes off. Iowa. Bad offense. Punt. Haha.
This Australian King is a goddamn stud, however. We’re replacing the worst punter in the league — who averaged 38 net yards per punt last year — with the best punter in the whole damn country last year.
All Poles has done this year is take weaknesses and make them strengths.
And, again, a punter in the fourth round is questionable. But when you don’t have a full slate of picks, and have a dire need at a position that can be filled one for one, I don’t mind it.
Yeah, he was best Iowa’s offensive weapon last year. 10 wins. 10 wins. Go Hawks.
Finally, Poles went with a defensive end — another need — in the fifth round. Kansas’ Ryan Bates had eight sacks last year, but is also one of those Senior Bowl fellas who apparently showed out big time.
I loved the draft. And I’m not saying these five players will all work out, though I guarantee Odunze will. But the way Poles approached it was just perfect.
Wipe the blood, sweat and tears away, Bears fans. This time, better times really are ahead.
In a 162-game season, there are ups and downs. Part of being a baseball fan is recognizing that, but losing your mind over a late-game loss on a Tuesday. That’s how these things work.
This year, I’ve lost my mind a few times, but I am quicker to bounce back then ever.
It bears repeating: It is incredible that this team is 19-13 and one game out of first place right now.
As the season started, I zeroed in on around .500 as a bench mark by April’s end, given the schedule. Not only did the Cubs far exceed that mark, they did it without four very key pieces.
Seiya Suzuki, Cody Bellinger, Justin Steele and Julian Merryweather have all missed extended time. Hector Neris has been a mess, and Kyle Hendricks was awful and then hurt.
If I read all that to you back in March, you’d assume the Cubs’ record were reversed right now, around 13-19, no?
Sorting the Cubs by best OPS+ (OPS compared to league average), the highest-ranking players that have played in over 25 games are Mike Tauchman and Michael Busch. Nico Hoerner is third, at just a 101 mark, or right above average.
The entire year has been a game of whack-a-mole, and yet, the Cubs have kept their heads above water.
Shota Imanaga has been more than advertised. He has a 0.78 ERA through 34.2 innings pitched. Mark Leiter Jr. remains one of the best relievers in all of baseball.
What’s more impressive, though, is who has stepped up behind them. Jameson Taillon? Big game James? With a 1.5 ERA through three games? Hayden Wesneski?
Javier Assad has been incredible, but he’s been so since the summer started last year.
The holes in the bullpen will be addressed, one way or another.
Until then, if the Cubs can even maintain 85% of their pace while Steele, Bellinger and Suzuki work their way back, just hand the Manager of the Year trophy over to Counsell in June.
In his year-end presser, Arturas Karnisovas said the Bulls haven’t been good enough and that changes needed to happen. Yay!
News flash: It doesn’t matter.
Because if someone running an NBA organization thought that wasn’t the case at the deadline two years ago, or at the beginning of this year, or at the deadline last year, then we’re fucked anyway.
Karnisovas has shown, time and again, he doesn’t have the desire — nor the savviness — to drastically improve this team. Credit where it’s due, the Bulls have three of the best contracts in the NBA on their roster with Ayo Dosunmu, Coby White and Alex Caruso.
But it’s all washed away with his allegiance to Zach LaVine, DeMar DeRozan and Nikola Vucevic — The Big Three, as some would say.
He bid against no one for Vucevic this offseason. Not a single team would have come near the number the Bulls gave him. Even when he first got DeRozan (good move in a vacuum), he gave up draft capital and handed out a contract way above market price. It’s just bad business, and there’s evidence to suggest that’s the kind of business he’ll continue conducting.
DeRozan will be back on a ridiculous contract, taking him into his late 30s. The Bulls won’t be able to get rid of LaVine or Vucevic, and if they do, they’ll attach picks to do so. The time to part ways with them was years ago, not now.
The “continuity” play has painted the Bulls in the corner. There are ways out of the mess, sure, but not with a guy like Arturas leading the charge.
Two play-in wins, two play-in losses.
Bulls fans across Chicago, young and old, should be furious right now. Unfortunately, there’s fewer and fewer around. Tell that to someone who grew up in the ‘90s.
Thanks for waiting, and thanks for reading this week’s newsletter. Tell someone to subscribe today. And comment below — let’s get it going in there!
Bear the fuck down!
This was an all time newsletter. The Bears may be in position to water down the sins of the Bulls. They are going to be so fun to watch.
Pretty crazy that the city of Chicago has Caleb and Bedard right now.
BEAR DOWN CHICAGO BEARS