Still Gotta Come Through Chicago

Eberflus Returns; Bulls, Cubs a Welcome Distraction

Happy Friday, Chicago!

How are the New Years resolutions coming?

Mine — to not justify staying up too late because there is a live NBA game still on TV — is going miserably. I’m about 0/4. Next week, though. Next week.

I did sleep well last Sunday. But I woke up on Monday with pizza and strudel crusts from my cope eating littered across my tray table, right next to two bomb-threat letters addressed to Tony Romo and NFL refs, both written in perfect cursive.

I don’t remember doing that, but the pepperoni remnants on my beard brought back the pizza and strudel memories.

Sober January is going a bit better, but when it ends, I’m ready to bawl my eyes out about Nick Saban retiring after one Michelob Ultra, only to use my dead grandma as a cop-out reason when people show concern. Miss you too, grandma. But right now, I’m grieving over Coach S.

Much to my delight, Michigan won the national championship Monday, and the Big Ten reigns supreme. Coach Harbaugh got his ring, and now I can re-commit to one of my core childhood tenets: fuck Michigan always and forever.

Nick Saban’s retirement was a good case study on why it’s good to live alone: so, when you’re visibly upset about a college football coach — for any reason — no one is around to poke or pry.

I’ll love college football forever, and perhaps a re-found hatred for Michigan after a near-decade hiatus will help bring back my childlike lust for the sport. But it won’t fill the void that Coach Saban will leave behind.

The sport is currently in flux because of a variety of factors that can all be boiled down to one thing: money. But, transfers, conference realignment and an expanded Mickey Mouse playoff are beginning to make the sport unrecognizable to those of us that grew up in the heyday of college football in the early 2000s. I can’t even imagine what it feels like for those of you that have loved it for longer.

Again, the love and obsession for the sport will never go away for me, but it will just be… different. It will be akin to Christmas — still a nice holiday, but far from the Santa-infused holiday I knew at age seven.

Saban’s retirement just feels like a stamp on the end of one era and the beginning of another. All the while, Bill Belichick is leaving the Patriots. Watching “The Art of Coaching” while dozing off on the couch after a night out will never be the same.

I could go on for 5,000 words just about that, and perhaps that’s an indication I should expand the amount of times the newsletter goes out per week.

But at the risk of losing Chicago-centric readers, I’ll cut bait now and move on. After all, there’s a lot to talk about.

I have tried to avoid Bears offseason talk as much as possible, but some of those offseason topics already came to a head this past week.

When people talk about politics in front of me, I have this unexplainable urge to argue against their point, no matter what side they’re on. That may be covert narcissism, I’m not sure, but I can’t control it.

That’s where I’ve gotten in the Caleb Williams/Justin Fields debate. Especially if you have an extremely strong opinion one way or another, and think people are dumb for being on the other side, I am not on your side, no matter who you prefer. It’s a tough decision, and anyone that thinks there’s an obvious path forward is delusional.

It’s also a bit like the Jordan/LeBron argument in the following sense. I’m fine debating with a sad sack who is on the LeBron side of the debate. But then someone comes in and says, “Kobe’s the GOAT!” and we can both turn and laugh at that person.

The Kobe guy in this scenario is the person who wants to do something other than draft Williams at no. 1 or keep Justin Fields and trade back for assets. If you want J.J. McCarthy or Jayden Daniels later on to compete with Fields, or something to that effect, please just step aside and let the adults finish.

It’s always a good time for football talk in January right after the college football playoff ends. The “we should get that guy I just watched for the first time during the national championship!” folks are out in numbers.

That’s okay, we can talk through it all — or at least most of it.

I have a million thoughts about the Bears, and Chicago sports in general, right now. But this NBA game on next to me only will be live until 11:00 pm or so, so we’ll have to stick to about a thousand of those thoughts.

As a hat tip to the legendary Chicago Tribune columnist Mary Schmich… I will dispense those thoughts now.

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What a week, Bears fans. What a week. How silly, foolish, and childish we are. I, Sisyphus, and you, Sisyphus, rolled that rock up the hill with vigor last week, didn’t we? And it came right back down the hill faster than ever Sunday afternoon, didn’t it?

At least as fast as it did 18 weeks ago, in Week 1.

The Bears have now lost 10 in a row to their “rivals,” and are 14-37 since the turn of the century, when they had a considerable lead in the all-time series, which has evaporated and then some.

A coaching staff with nothing to lose aimed to lose small, and a coaching staff with everything to lose aimed to win big. Surprise, the latter won out.

Every Bears coach was outcoached, which was very evident. It was evident enough, too, that a generally respectful Bears team expressed confusion and displeasure over the playcalling on both sides of the ball after the game.

D.J. Moore expressed more outward confusion about the offensive game plan, while Jaquon Brisker directly said he didn’t know why the Bears weren’t playing more press coverage in his post-game comments.

Alas, being outclassed and embarrassed by their rival did nothing to sway the already-held opinions of the upper brass in the organization, which once thrilled the nation with its T-formation!

The Bears tried to keep their offseason plans quiet and in-house, and did such a good job at that, too, that this idiot was able to predict those plans a month out.

Getsy and the offensive staff thrown under the bus, everyone else, you’re safe.

Matt Eberflus is such a good leader that basically the entire staff he hired has either been fired for incompetence or HR violations less than two years later. Job well done, Matt. Your job is safe.

Your job is safe because you didn’t win any games at all, and then you did win some games. Again, job well done.

Close your eyes for me. Now picture Eberflus holding up a Lombardi trophy. Could your imagination even come close to conceiving that? That’s not a very scientific exercise, but I think it plays here.

Eberflus, as far as I can tell, is for the most part liked by the players. He’s also a competent defensive playcaller, unless he’s playing the Packers.

He’s not good at much else, evidently so. Now, are those two traits, or skills, that the Bears can’t replicate? Of course they can. But they’ve decided not to because of laziness, stupidity, or both.

Let’s take step back: The Bears announced Wednesday that Matt Eberflus would be back as a head coach in 2024. In tandem with that announcement, they announced that offensive coordinator Luke Getsy and quarterbacks coach Andrew Janocko had been fired.

Luke Getsy needed to go. I will never understand why a man with nothing to lose — armed with an uber-talented quarterback — would produce game plans like he did. Hell, he didn’t even have to worry about Fields getting hurt or throwing too many interceptions. Still, he called plays like Todd Collins was our quarterback.

I don’t think we need to spend much time on that.

In a vacuum, disregarding all other factors, I would still not have kept Matt Eberflus moving forward. But reasonable people could disagree with that.

But keeping Eberflus in a year where Jim Harbaugh, Bill Belichick, Ben Johnson, Mike Vrabel, Pete Carroll and others could be had is indefensible. It would be appalling if it were anyone but the Bears. For them, it was predictable, which is genuinely infuriating.

The Bears are in a place they likely won’t be in ever again in our lifetimes. A talented roster, with cap space, and with the no. 1 pick. This team could be in Super Bowl contention by next year, and have decided to opt for the status quo with Matt Eberflus despite the bevy of options they had elsewhere.

I don’t know who made this decision, truly. It’s hard to blame Poles, knowing that he hardly played a hand in hiring Eberflus in the first place.

The Bears interviewed coaches after firing Matt Nagy, then chose a GM. Then, they hired Kevin Warren to oversee all of them. That’s the kind of backwards ass process that keeps the Bears the Bears.

Now, they had a chance to reverse the course of the entire franchise in one offseason. They could have hired the best offensive playcaller available in Ben Johnson, they didn’t. They could have hired a few of the best football coaches of all time, they didn’t. They could have hired an established, top-5 or top-10 coach in the league in Vrabel. They didn’t.

They seemingly didn’t even reach out to any of those candidates, which is malpractice akin to the Bears being sold on Trubisky because he drove a truck and not talking seriously with Mahomes or Watson. In fact, it’s worse than that.

Who needs those guys when you have stumbling, bumbling Matt Eberflus.

Eberflus gets another go at it because of “continuity,” which, by coincidence or not, is the same thing the dumbfuck Bulls point toward. He gets another go at it because the Bears won some games at the end of the year, as if that is so foreign to us that we’re shocked and thrilled about it.

Perhaps we should be shocked and thrilled, considering this is a team that hasn’t won a playoff game since before Nick Saban won his second national championship at Alabama.

It should be studied why we all have not grown completely apathetic toward this unserious franchise.

Now, we’re all supposed to just turn our heads toward the quarterback decision, as if that will change the fortune of an organization that is clearly rotten from the inside out.

I’ve heard the suggestion that the Bears moving on from Getsy and co. means they’re going with a QB at no. 1. I’ve heard it means the opposite. To be honest, I don’t know.

I hope (why), honestly, they just fired Getsy because he’s clearly not fit to be an offensive coordinator in the NFL? Ideally, that would be the primary cause for moving on from him.

Nevertheless, the Bears have a decision to make at quarterback. As mentioned above, that should be between Caleb Williams and Justin Fields — and no one else.

No matter which way you slice it, the Bears are in a highly enviable position. They have a third-year quarterback that could be worth a first or second round pick on the trade market, and also the no. 1 pick in a year with “generational” talents.

It doesn’t feel that way, though. Instead, I’m just kind of bummed out by the whole thing.

Justin Fields is my favorite Bears quarterback ever, or at least since 2000 when I became aware of their existence (I wish we skipped that). He’s a great, tough dude with talents that few other people have had ever had in the NFL. He has his warts, undoubtedly, which have been exacerbated by circumstance: taking sacks and fumbling.

For any fault of Fields’ over the past three years, I can rebuttal with ease. He came into the most dysfunctional situation in the NFL with a lame duck coach. Immediately, he was sacked nine times by the Browns in perhaps the worst NFL game I’ve ever watched.

The regime that drafted him is ousted, the Bears hire a defensive-minded, first-time head coach. He hires a first-time offensive coordinator who we now know is as incapable as they come.

In the meantime, the Bears struggle to put an offense around him that even resembles an NFL offense. All the while, he makes incredible plays each week, unalike anything this fanbase has ever witnessed before.

Then, I have to turn around and hear about Fields’ traditional stats on week-in, week-out basis.

Even on Sunday, when the Bears had two starters out in the interior line — on top of Teven Jenkins having his worst game as a pro — Fields is fielding blame for getting sacked.

The whole thing just feels gross to me. I’m fine with either outcome, frankly. Keeping Fields and getting an unheard-of haul for the no. 1 pick would be fantastic. Hopefully Fields’ third offensive coordinator could do him some favors, and, you know, actually leverage his strengths.

I’m also fine with “resetting to the rookie scale contract” with Caleb Williams — please shut up — and moving forward.

“Fine” is doing a lot of work there. Williams may be the guy, and I admit going with him may be the right move in the long term.

But am I allowed to feel, I don’t know, bad about that? Moving on from a guy like Fields to get a guy who seems like a self-centered, talented, punk “ME” guy just feels wrong — even if he is a transcendent talent.

For every Caleb Williams college highlight you have, I’ve got a highlight of Fields in college. On top of that, I’ve got NFL highlights!

Ah, but whatever. Williams definitely has some tools that Fields doesn’t have. But I also think Fields has a lot that Willams doesn’t have. If we go with Williams, I just hope that doesn’t come back to bite us.

It’s taken on a lot of emotional toll to get through this. Every dumb Bears thing I write down reminds me of another dumb Bears thing. So, I’ll stop here.

See you next week when I Stockholm Syndrome my way into excitement over the offensive coordinator hire.

Until then, comment your thoughts when you reach the end of the newsletter. See you there.

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Perk up, buddy! The Bulls are 13-7 over their last 20 games, and have a top-5 win percentage in the league over that stretch.

The Bulls game led to a legitimate laugh-out-loud moment for me Wednesday when Alex Caruso, as he was going to the scorer’s table to check in, was holding his arms out wide, gesturing to the defenders on the floor to, you know, play defense.

It was like a 5th grade basketball coach urging on his middle schoolers in a 8-4 game, but, LaVine — who Caruso was likely directing these orders to — did put his hands out. Immediately, a ball deflected off his hand and the Bulls created a turnover.

You just can’t make that stuff up, man.

LaVine has been rebounding and playing defense since he got back last week. Sort of like Matt Eberflus’ late-season wins, everyone is shocked and thrilled, instead of going, ‘Wait, why is this 10-year NBA veteran just figuring out that he should do this?’

To answer your immediate question: No, LaVine has not changed my mind, in the slightest.

He missed three layups before the 4-minute mark in the first quarter last night, because he’s not a good finisher anymore, before he rebounded to have one of his three best games of the season. His final line was 25 points/ 13 rebounds/ 7 assists.

He also saved the Bulls in overtime with a clutch three and three-point play. Awesome. Pick up that phone, Arturas! Now is your chance to actually get something in return for him.

LaVine’s two solid games since he’s been back are, without him knowing, further evidence as to why he needs to go in the first place: he’s all in on him. He knows trade suitors want him to play defense — wow — so he’s playing defense. He knows trade suitors noticed the Bulls were winning without him, so he wants them to win with him.

It’s simple stuff. And he still is having the same on-court issues as he did before: bad decisions at the end of the game, a lack of offensive rhythm, and major issues finishing at the rim (while also yelling ayyyy to persuade referees, to no avail).

Mark my words: if the Bulls keep LaVine, it will be a colossal mistake — not just long term, but also for the short-term health of this team.

He’s an injury prone, selfish player that doesn’t want to be here. His talents — once impressive — are rapidly eroding. If a team thinks he’ll help plug a hole for them, take them up on the offer.

Having that contract off the books is all we need, I don’t care if D’Angelo Russell is part of the return package. That should tell you something.

Now, back to the red-hot Bulls. They’re legitimately good. Coby White is the most underpaid player not on a rookie contract in the league, just months after signing his deal.

Wrist injury and all, here is his production on this 13-7 stretch: 23 points/ 6 assists/ 6 rebounds on 47% shooting (nearly 42% from three). The three-point prowess is impressive on its own, but his playmaking ability has really been what’s impressed me. Yes, he’s the one guy I feel confident shooting a three in a clutch situation, but he also can now get to the rim at will.

It’s just so refreshing for a guy to be 1. receptive to coaching and 2. get that much better from one year to another.

Now, the issue remains this, and it’s my only gripe with Billy Donovan. I know it’s a tough spot, but if the Bulls plan at the end of games remains “give DeMar the ball for an iso followed by a contested shot” I am going to lose my mind. Over the last two games, DeMar (or Billy’s) insistence on this plan of attack has nearly cost them wins.

DeMar deserves immense credit for adjusting his game, shooting more threes and looking for more assist opportunities on the way. But this is the last step. There’s no reason why Coby should not be the focal point of late-game situations.

Even better: just run the offense you were running for the last 46 minutes!

The road to .500 is more in sight than ever. The Bulls currently are 9th in the East, firmly in the play-in, which would have been unfathomable in November.

They’re 4.5 games out of the 6th spot, but if they continue to play the way they have been, there’s no reason they can’t be .500 by early February and in the mix for a surefire playoff spot by the All-Star break.

The Bulls have lucked their way into a fun team. As you probably noted, I need that right now. Warriors tonight.

LETS GO BULLS!

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The Cubs finally started their offseason this week, but I wasn’t going to bitch about them even if they hadn’t. They’re the only competent organization in this town, and lucky for them, that gets you preferential treatment.

First, they shored up the starting rotation, essentially replacing Marcus Stroman, by signing the lefty Japanese pitcher Shota Imanaga. The deal is technically a 4-year, $53 million deal, but the Cubs can turn it into a 5 year, $80 million deal if things go well. If things don’t go well, they have multiple opt out opportunities.

Imanaga is 30 and, at first observation, has nasty stuff. For what it’s worth, he had a 2.8 ERA and 1.054 WHIP in Japan’s NPB league last year.

It also seems to be the consensus that the Cubs got a deal on him.

I personally have an affinity for Japanese baseball players, as evidenced by my endearment for Seiya Suzuki, but this seems like a great deal for the Cubs.

I wouldn’t be surprised if by the halfway point he ended up being the Cubs no. 2 behind Justin Steele.

After that signing, the Cubs made a deal with the Dodgers, receiving the Dodgers no. 2!!! (this varies) prospect in return. Michael Busch — a top-50 prospect in all of baseball — was considered one of the best players out of the 2019 draft. Since, he’s dealt with freak injuries that wouldn’t suggest future injury problems. He’s also a third baseman, which is a position where the Cubs have desperately lacked a difference maker.

(I hope this does not mean Christopher Morel is not a part of future plans.)

Busch hit 27 home runs in AAA last year and also played in 27 major league games. He struggled mightily in the big leagues, though I don’t think that means much long term.

The Cubs also received the reliever Yency Almonte in the deal, who pitched poorly last year but has been solid overall.

In return, the Cubs gave up prospects Jackson Ferris and Zyhir Hope. Ferris, a left-handed pitcher, is a top-10 prospect for the Cubs and the prize of the deal for the Dodgers.

I love this deal for the Cubs. They have prospects to sacrifice, their pipeline is stacked. Meanwhile, they could have gotten a power hitting starter at third for next season and beyond.

It never feels great doing a trade with an organization like the Dodgers.

But it makes sense. The Dodgers are willing to part ways with up-and-coming talent because they have access to all the talent they need at the big-league level via their checkbook.

Outside of Morel rumors that are making me queasy, I think this offseason may turn out moderately well for the Cubs. I think Bellinger, in the end, will return, and the Cubs will have more than a shot at the division next year with Craig Counsell at the helm.

Someone page their grandfather who died before 2016 — the Cubs are by far the most well-run franchise in Chicago!

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