Happy Friday Chicago!
As we tend to do here on Still Gotta Come Through Chicago from time to time, it’s time to take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to talk about LeBron James.
After a 4-0 series loss to the Denver Nuggets, LeBron James suggested directly after the final game that he may retire. Immediately, that became the dominant NBA news of the day, at least for the people dense enough to fall for the same tricks over and over.
Shams Charania — an NBA “reporter” who mostly parrots agents’ talking points — shortly thereafter “reported” that LeBron played through a significant foot injury throughout the playoffs. I wonder how that got to Shams?
Sometimes the LeBron spin comes before the eventual season-ending loss, and sometimes it comes directly afterward like it did this past week (in double-whammy fashion). Usually, it’s both.
But I thought it’d be a fun exercise to go over some of those PR blitzes LeBron and his camp have drawn up after every year that ends in disappointment for The King.
One day I will have the time to dive into all of those, but I don’t at the moment. It’s too tall of a task. But the least I could do is give you a taste of Bron Bron’s tactics.
For time purposes, too, we’ll also draw on every year after James “took his talents to South Beach” in a TV special like he was announcing his bid for the presidency. But, before that, I would like to point out a paragraph from an Adrian Wojnarowski column immediately after the Cavs lost to the Celtics just before LeBron left Cleveland the first time.
Below, “narcissists” refers to LeBron and John Calipari, the latter of which was flirting with the Cavs job in the summer of 2010.
“Together, these narcissists will manufacture a drama that will undermine the conference and NBA Finals, the NBA draft and Fourth of July parades in small towns and big cities across America,” Woj wrote at the time. “James and the Cavs lost Game 6 of the conference semifinals to the Boston Celtics, 94-85, but he hardly seemed devastated in the losing locker room. James had a triple-double that was devalued with nine turnovers. He shot 44 percent for the series, turned the ball over 27 times and behaved like a lousy leader.”
Woj! It was 13 years ago now, but I bet you can guess where my allegiance lies if I’m forced to pick between the two “NBA Insiders,” Shams and Woj.
But now, for the real reporting, something Shams doesn’t do and Woj gave up a long time ago.
2011:
After LeBron’s TV special, he then welcomed a live crowd in the Heat arena to say the new trio of him, Bosh, and Wade (the 2009 scoring champion), would win not four, not five, not six, not seven… championships, before they ever played a game together.
Less than a third of the way into that season, he tried to get Erik Spoelstra fired (another theme of his career). Yes, the Erik Spoelstra heralded as the undisputed best coach in the league a decade and a half later. (This is a fact).
Eventually, the Mavericks beat the Heat in the finals. That’s after LeBron (of all people!) mocked a sick Dirk Nowitzki, who he suggested was faking it. Dirk would go on to say the mocking was “childish, immature.” Dirk would also go on to beat LeBron in six games, a series in which his teammate Jason Terry outscored LeBron.
Here was what LeBron had to say after that series.
Firstly:
“The Greater Man Upstairs know when it’s my time. Right now isn’t the time,” he said, via Twitter.
It’s God’s fault (or, more usually, his teammates) when he loses. When he wins, he’s the GOAT and he led his team to the hardest championships ever. But hold that thought.
In his presser following the loss, he did not exactly play the role yet of excuse-maker, but more so just dickhead.
“All the people that were rooting for me to fail… at the end of the day, tomorrow they have to wake up and have the same life that (they had) before they woke up today,” he said. “They got the same personal problems they had today. And I’m going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things I want to do.”
If LeBron were to called his haters poor, sad and lonely more often, I’d honestly probably respect him more. But I doubt everyone with regular, everyday problems tuning in was pumped to hear that from the multi-millionaire who made even more millions off a campaign suggesting people hated him.
Nevertheless, a good way to kick things off.
The Heat won the next two championships. LeBron acted like an idiot after those as well, of course, but that’s neither here nor there for now.
2014:
In 2014, though, the rightful champions of 2013 won the championship — the San Antonio Spurs. They throttled the Heat, in fact, by a total of 94 points over just five games.
After that, just as he did in 2010, LeBron left for a better basketball situation and went back to the Cavs. It wasn’t for a “homecoming” — though that made for a good Sports Illustrated title. No, it was because the Heat’s stars were aging. The Cavs, on the other hand, had collected high draft picks and valuable assets after he left them in the dust and changed the NBA for the worse forever.
LeBron denied he had made up his mind, and even hung out with his “brother” Dwyane Wade during that offseason, not telling him he was leaving Miami in the dust this time and had made up his mind to leave the team, according to Brian Windhorst.
Before he left Cleveland the first time, and Miami the only time, he said “all he wanted to do was win.” Then when he went back to Cleveland, he said he wanted to finish his career there. That obviously didn’t last.
In the end, LeBron left Miami at the first time he contractually could, just as adversity presented itself. Pat Riley, more or less, called him a coward on the way out. To be fair, Riley only got him in the first place because of that “Where to Next?” mentality.
So, thus far, we have Loss-Leave, Loss-God’s fault, plus you are all poor dumbfucks, Win, Win, Loss-Leave.
2015:
What’s next?
LeBron made sure to say when he got back to Cleveland that the team was far from competing for a championship. He said that because he knew they could easily make the championship in a god-awful East in which the Cavs toughest competition was Derrick Rose on his last legs and a young Jimmy Butler.
They did make the finals, and ultimately lost to the Warriors.
What did we get in the aftermath? You probably guessed it. A little bit of a trashing his non-All Star teammates mixed in with some narcissism.
"Tried as much as we could to try to make up for those guys, but it's a lot of talent sitting in suits," James said. "I've been watching basketball for a long time, I'm an historian of the game. I don't know any other team that's gotten to the Finals without two All‑Stars. I cannot remember thinking of it. I don't even know if it's ever happened, for a team to lose two All‑Stars and still be able to make it to the Finals."
(They lost Kyrie in the actual Finals).
In 2016, the Cavs won the title after LeBron — in an intelligent move, I may add — lured Draymond Green’s dumbass into kicking him in the balls and getting suspended for a Warriors close-out Game 5.
In the parade, and in endless TV interviews afterwards that no one watches in full, he has fully credited himself for that title — calling it “one of the hardest titles to win in NBA history” with the other, of course, being his win in 2020.
He also had this cringe-worthy, extended pound-the-ground session when the game was still in doubt, which he does often, only to get up and be fine afterward.
But let’s get to the following year.
2017:
LeBron blamed the loss on losing to a “superteam” in the Warriors, discrediting the Warriors directly, and inadvertently discrediting his previous three championships.
In Miami, LeBron played with Bosh (who averaged 24.8 points and 10.8 rebounds in an All-Star season the year before he got to Miami) and Wade (who, as mentioned above, led the league in scoring in 2009).
The term “superteam” did not even really exist in the American lexicon until the Miami Heat stars all purposely joined together that year. And, no, the Celtics stars — who were all traded on the back-half of their primes — do not qualify.
Then, LeBron joined with Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love. Irving was the 2014 All-Star MVP, former rookie of the year, and a guy who averaged 21 and 6 the year before LeBron announced his homecoming. Love, on the other hand, was the rebound champion and All-NBA, averaging nearly 27 points and 13 rebounds prior to his joining the Cavs.
Anyway, not that anything else needs to be said, other than that the below quote post-loss is just other-worldly delusional.
“I don’t believe I’ve played for a superteam,” James said after the loss. “I don’t believe in that.”
The above is very similar to his assertion that he “does not know how to flop” and no team he has ever played has flopped. It’s almost like he doesn’t think the people listening to his press conferences can actually watch the games.
2018:
Ah, yes, we’ve gotten to my favorite. After the 2018 loss to the Warriors, LeBron said — again, we don’t do actual medical diagnoses with LeBron, just take his word (if you’re dense enough) — that he played with a “pretty much broken hand.”
?
I’m no medical expert, but I’m pretty sure I know this. Either your bones are broken, or… they’re not. But the shameless NBA media never follows up on this dunce’s claims anyway. That’s why I’m here.
“Self-inflicted. Post-game, after Game 1. Very emotional... the way we played, the calls that were made, I had emotions that the game was taken away from us.. Pretty much played the last three games with a broken hand,” he said.
Again, not verifiable, as the Cavs weren’t going to come out and say, “We don’t know what the fuck he’s talking about” and the injury took place, of course, out of sight from all of America’s NBA viewers.
Then, of course, we get another bounce, this time to Los Angeles. When the going gets tough, the adage does, it’s time to get going elsewhere.
“I always believed that I’d return to Cleveland and finish my career there,” James wrote in Sports Illustrated after he returned to Cleveland in 2014. “I just didn’t know when. After the season, free agency wasn’t even a thought. But I have two boys and my wife, Savannah, is pregnant with a girl. I started thinking about what it would be like to raise my family in my hometown. I looked at other teams, but I wasn’t going to leave Miami for anywhere except Cleveland. The more time passed, the more it felt right. This is what makes me happy.”
Well, it seems there were other options besides Cleveland after Miami. And, I hope LeBron’s kids enjoyed those 3.5 years in Cleveland.
2019:
This year was a disappointment for us LeBron watchers. The Lakers were eliminated from the Playoffs relatively early, so he pivoted to talking about how he may play in the 2020 Olympics (he didn’t), passing Michael Jordan in scoring, and how he was willing to flirt with any NBA All-Star (remember, no superteams) to get them to play with him.
That, of course, is a major dismissal of his then-current teammates, but that’s not something he’s ever cared about. Like in 2017 when the Cavs failed to trade for Paul George and he reportedly left a practice in dismay, leaving behind the others at practice who would have been traded, you know, for Paul George.
Anyway, he got his wish after 2019 when the LeBron’s agency — which he basically owns — helped get Anthony Davis to Los Angeles.
They then won the “bubble championship,” which, again, LeBron would go on to call the other hardest championship ever to win — because, of course, HE won them — in between saying “I believe I am the greatest basketball player of all time.”
2021:
After the Lakers loss to the Suns, LeBron was able to get over it quite quickly. Answering a question about his future, he turned to promote his highly-original idea for a movie, Space Jam 2.
“I think I’m going to play for the Tune Squad this summer instead of the Olympics,” James said after the loss. “I think that’s what my focus [is] on, trying to beat the Monstars, or the Goon Squad we call them now. So, didn’t have much success versus the Suns, so now I am gearing my attention to the Goon Squad here in July, mid-July.”
He then went on to hold his own front office hostage to trade for Russell Westbrook, only to later blame him for all the Lakers subsequent issues and then holding the front office hostage to trade him away, while griping — nearly crying — because the Lakers did not trade for Kyrie Irving at the deadline a year and a half later.
2022:
The Lakers missed the playoffs again in 2021-2022 in a 33-49 campaign.
After this year, LeBron got successfully got another coach fired in Frank Vogel.
Then, he said this.
“It’s not a failure at all,” James said. “We came to work every single day, put our hard hats on and tried to get better every day. And the results just didn’t happen for us. But it’s not a failure…
“Obviously, if you follow me in any of my career, when we don’t succeed, I take a lot of the responsibility,” he said. “That’s just who I am. I wish I could’ve been a lot better in leading this franchise this year.”
When we don’t succeed, I take a lot of the responsibility
<Insert crying laughing face emojis here>
In 2023, it was about a potential retirement. And he’ll be back.
There’s no shame in not winning a championship. There is in handling it the way this petulant asshole does.
After that introduction, I’ve lost 30% of newsletter subscribers. I’ve also lost my nagging past 21-year-old self in my left ear calling me a pussy and washed up for not trashing LeBron in a while, though. I’ll take the trade.
Now, I’ll tell you who has not lost a lot recently, and that’s the Chicago White Sox! Until Thursday night.
But, last week we laid out the vision. The Sox were 8+ games back, still in May, in the worst division in all of baseball. For context, as of Wednesday, the worst team record wise in the AL East would have been leading the AL Central. The Mighty Twins, at 26-24, still sit atop the division. Their $200 million Man Carlos Correa seems to be struggling with all the things the doctors on the Giants and Mets said he would.
And that leaves room for the WHITE SOX, WHITE SOX, (GO GO WHITE SOX) to come and snag the top spot.
The Twins, Tigers and Guardians are all just not good teams. Now, I’m not saying the White Sox are a good team. But can they be the best bad team?
Pedro Grifol should take that approach, a depressing but sincere “WHY NOT US?”
The Sox are a respectable 13-10 in May after a dreadful 7-20 April that included a 10-game losing streak.
Despite things looking up, the White Sox season — similar to last — feels like a game of whack-a-mole. Kopech looks great. Oh no, Robert is hurt. They’re hitting more homers. Oh no, Andrew Vaughn looks like shit. They’re getting on base more. Oh no, Tim Anderson has been awful for a calendar year.
Of the guys that have played 26 games (half of the season), the Sox only have four players that are hitting an OPS above league average.
Stop here. Can you guess them?
— Yasmani Grandal (.780, 14% above league average)
— Luis Robert (.886, 38% above league average)
— Gavin Sheets (.744, 3% above league average)
— Jake Burger (.920, 45% above league average)
Thus, they have the 26th best overall OPS (on base percentage, plus slugging percentage) in the MLB. Grifol needs to find a way to optimize the lineup while the rest of the team’s woes (hopefully) figure themselves out to some extent.
(They also have the second-worst bullpen ERA in the MLB, only behind the Athletics.)
And yet, they’re only six games back heading into June. WHY. NOT. US?
“Nick Madrigal is a near-lost cause. My one Padre fan tried to warn me about Eric Hosmer’s worthlessness, and I was dumb enough to think he can’t be as bad as Frankie Schwindel,” is what I wrote last week.
This week, they’re both gone. Madrigal, at least for the time being. The Cubs continue to make relatively quick moves to improve, though Madrigal was moved down specifically to make room for the only remaining Cub from the World Series team in Kyle Hendricks. Hendricks pitched four and a third innings last night, walking two, striking out five and allowing three earned runs.
But I was actually quite encouraged by the performance. His stuff looked good and he was the victim of a couple of ducksnort, bullshit hits.
Cody Bellinger is still out with a knee, but Codi Heur — the other half of the Kimbrel trade, in addition to Madrigal — is making progress in Iowa. Heur pitched very well for the Cubs prior to Tommy John surgery. Hopefully he can make an impact in the bullpen this year, a bullpen that is the seventh-worst by ERA in the league and one that Jed Hoyer took blame for this week.
The Cubs slide has consumed the headlines over the last month, and for good reason. A series victory over the Mets was a good step in turning things around.
I still am pretty bullish on them being able to turn upward toward .500 in relatively quick order. The bullpen has been bad, Jameson Taillon has been awful.
But the optimistic signs I brought up last week remain the same.
Christopher Morel is other-worldly.
Seiya Suzuki is hot.
Now, if we could get Tucker Barnhart’s worthless ass out of the batter’s box, that would be great. For the love of God, hit the pitcher. It would be more fun to watch.
More on baseball, and less on LeBron James, in the next newsletter.
THANK YOU all for reading. I greatly appreciate it, as always.
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Comment below:
I hate Lebron and simply cannot understand people that think he is anywhere close to Jordan. I NEVER saw an ounce of quit or submission in Jordan, EVER! I see it all of the time from Lebron when he sees the writing on the wall. 4th Quarter of a close game, pass the ball to Jared Vanderbilt to take over. Then they can't blame him.
Not to mention the spray painted graffiti on his garage before game 1 of the 2017 NBA finals.... The same graffiti that was completely erased and spotless before the cops could come that no one has any pictures of or any eye witnesses....
Surprised you were able to stay away from Lebron's constant infidelity as a 'family man'. Refer to the song Popular Demand, verse 2.