If you missed yesterday’s newsletter, read that here. That was the main newsletter for the week.
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It would just be against everything I stand for to not write something on the day that Gar Forman was officially canned.
Listen, as you can probably (maybe?) tell, I’m not big on personally shitting on people, no matter their place in society. Mitch Trubisky, for instance, seems like a good guy. He’s just not a good quarterback. I have no problem criticizing his play and the pick and everything, but I stop short of ridiculing him as a person. Jim Boylen, same way. Okay, he’s a doofus. No problem making fun of his decisions. Screaming at him in public? Not a fan of it.
Generally, I like to keep things above the belt.
Except when it comes to these dudes.
When you’re a couple of arrogant ass holes who have held a franchise adored by millions hostage for years and have the audacity over and over to act like we’re the dumb ones who somehow don’t get it — you lose the privilege for me not to sound off on you to my small group of followers.
My hatred for these two goes back a decade, when I was finally able to discern who was a piece of shit in this business and who wasn’t. I started a blog in college called “The Ruining of the Bulls” where I didn’t even write about the team but just trashed Gar Forman and John Paxson. It was for a class and was so unhinged that I think my teacher was actually worried about me at times. He’d write notes like, “I appreciate your enthusiasm, I really do, but if you want to reach a larger audience you may want to tone it down a bit.” The logo for the blog was GarPax’s faces hastily cropped onto the Dumb and Dumber movie poster. The blog was titled, “Ruining of the Bulls.” I thought that was pretty clever back in the day.
Anyway, I had to disband it when I got a seasonal job with the Bulls. The issue was that working for the Bulls only further proved all the points I was making in the blog that I had scrubbed off the internet.
Let me pull back the curtain. Working for the Bulls felt like working for Blockbuster in 2017. A once-great institution was deteriorating right before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. If you ever listen to a successful CEO speak, they run through all those cliches about the importance of a good top-down. But all of that is true. When your media room is filled with people who have taken their jobs for granted and leave popcorn on the floor after the games in a place where Michael Jordan used to take questions from the media, things aren’t right. I can’t tell you how depressing it was.
For the organization to be so dysfunctional and downtrodden that its problems were visible to a lowly employee who saw maybe 5% of the behind-the-scenes action was appalling. It almost ruined my fandom completely.
The lows that those days provided, though, made the highs of today that much better.
Thanks for nothing
Gar Paxson, the reports said in a bunch, had been fired. It took me a second to process. This man was hired after the Bulls last championship. As Ricky O’ Donnell put it, the only thing impressive about the man’s career is that he was so overtly incompetent for 22 years and yet still maintained a high-paying job.
As I included in yesterday’s newsletter, he was clueless enough to not understand how the salary cap worked. He once went behind Fred Hoiberg’s back to show middle school-like plays that he had drawn up to Dwyane Wade and Jimmy Butler, a future hall of famer and the team’s then best player. He, like Pax, couldn’t get along with any of the coaches he hired. Joe Cowley of the Sun-Times reported that his departure immediately means that free agents will be more open to coming to the organization.
He was so untrustworthy and dumb that agents would literally tell their clients not to consider going to a storied franchise in the league’s third biggest market.
Here was Jimmy Butler’s trainer’s reaction to the news, via Instagram:
The Big Art (Arturas Karnisovas) cited “difference in philosophies” for why Forman could not stick around. That’s a kind way for our new savior to say “this guy is an absolute moron and having him around would actively hurt our chances of winning moving forward.”
I’d say about 90% of what Bulls fans hated about being a Bulls fan evaporated yesterday. The only way I can describe the ecstasy that was Monday’s news is this…
I was scrolling through Twitter on my lunch break and saw this tweet:
It is nothing special. It is simply the song “Sirius,” better known as the Bulls intro song. I’ve heard it, no exaggeration, thousands of times. It was my favorite thing as a kid and lost its luster over the past few years. I didn’t know whether that was just a part of growing up and life becoming more dull or if it had something to do with the state of the franchise and my relationship with it. Well, I got my answer yesterday. I turned the sound on for that tweet, and involuntary chills were released throughout my body.
If any moment truly gave me clarity as to what yesterday meant to be as a Chicago sports fan, that was it.
Enjoy retirement!
Now, as for Pax, he didn’t get canned — I know, I know — that sucks. But he’s been labeled a “senior advisor” for now, with apparently no direct influence on the day-to-day for the Bulls. He’s pulled off a miraculous feat — convincing reporters that he should be given credit for suggesting to the Reinsdorfs that a change was needed.
First of all, if a change was needed, why was he telling all of the fans and media just months ago that we were all idiots, that a rebuild takes time, and that everything was going in the right direction? Him admitting that there needed to be a change should be grounds to fire him.
Once again I will use this analogy. Pax saving himself by telling people that he was the one who suggested a change is like a guy cheating on his girlfriend, getting caught, and then saying, ‘You know what, it’s really time for us to end things.’ It’s not your call, man! You were the one who is responsible for everything that’s wrong with the situation. You don’t get credit for recognizing a relationship is in a bad state when you’re the one that was sneaking around! That logic just doesn’t hold up.
Having said all of that, I really don’t think Pax is going to have a major say moving forward. The proof lies in Big Art accepting the job in the first place. He was one of the top front office candidates. In other words, he didn’t need the Bulls job. If Pax was going to have continuing influence on the team, he wouldn’t have signed on. This is a way, as Will Gottlieb suspected on Twitter, for Pax to receive paid retirement from the Bulls. It’s not ideal, but as long as he isn’t actively destroying the franchise from inside anymore, I’m fine with it.
Jim Boylen releasing a statement welcoming the Big Art to the team and congratulating the Reinsdorfs was one of the funniest releases I’ve ever seen.
The only two guys in the NBA who would hire Jim Boylen to be a head coach are no longer decision makers.
I believe, and credit to my father for whipping up this take on such short notice, that the Bulls are waiting to see how the rest of the NBA season will play out before canning Boylen. If the Bulls need to play five more games this year, there’s no point in firing the coaching staff and hiring for new roles if the season isn’t definitely over.
Once the NBA season is either officially over or the season is cancelled, it is my belief that Boylen will be out of here. Again, I just don’t see a world where a smart executive gets a job of a lifetime and then immediately relies on Jim Boylen to deploy his philosophies. Not gonna happen.
Now, as for the Big Art. If he keeps talking the way he has been, he’s going to need a body guard the first time I see him. That man needs a bear hug from yours truly, plus a couple of kisses on the cheek. How does a man become SGCTC approved in one day? Here’s a guide:
“This is the height of a dream for me, and I am prepared for the challenge it presents,” he said.
“I grew up watching the Chicago Bulls. They represented American basketball and the NBA to a kid from Lithuania,” he said.
“Chicago is a great sports town with a robust history. Earning the enthusiasm and excitement back from the fans is a challenge and something I look forward to.”
Let’s stillgottacomethroughchicago GOOOO!
Is this guy kidding me? Has he been reading the newsletter or something? I cannot imagine a better collection of quotes to kick off his tenure.
By the way, I have officially dubbed the Arturas Karnisovas era AK (his initials) FOR SEVEN (the next championship). The quest for the Bulls seventh ring begins now, and there’s no one I’d rather have leading us.
AK FOR SEVEN. I’m going to print shirts with him on it, seven rings on his fingers, and an AK-47 in his hands.
The Renaissance is here, now move aside, and let the man go through.
Thanks for reading. More on the Big Art’s philosophies and FO hires sometime in the coming days. I am fired up, if you couldn’t tell. Thanks for indulging me.
I need a comment from all my new and old Bulls fans on how yesterday’s news made you feel.
I didn't listen to the News Conference but I have a picture in my mind of how AK 47's first discussion with Gar Forman went. AK 47 "So, I thought Thibs was doing a hell of a job here. What happened between him with you and Pax?" Gar "Well we didn't like how things were going so we had someone on the inside of his coaching team inform us every day what was transpiring" AK 47 "So, you spied on him?" Gar "Yes" AK 47 "Did you ever think of speaking to him man to man" Gar "uhh umm" AK 47 "Is it true that you told Rose, Noah and Butler that they didn't have to listen to him while he was actively the coach of the Bulls?" Gar "Yes, but that was because.." AK 47 "You are fired!"
Poor Boylen, so pathetic but I don't blame him for doing everything he can to hang on. He would be a decent assistant college coach somewhere in my opinion. I could see him on Chris Collins staff as like the 3rd assistant, getting the intensity going in practice.
That being said, I am fired up. Put me on the pre order list for one of those shirts. Pumped to see what The Renaissance Man/BIG ART/Picasso/AKFOR-7/The Karnivore/Karnage has in store for this off season. Its a good time to be a Chicagoan, and I call for an SGTGC sponsored party where we rent out a section of a bar with all the money we saved by not having to pay out our bookies for the Bulls future, with a VIP list that consists of one man and one man only- Our Lord and Savior.