Still Gotta Come Through Chicago

Hard Knocks, Hope, and Losers

Happy Friday Chicago!

Just hours after I published a newsletter overflowing with optimism last week, stock markets plummeted and the Good News Bear almost got some serious egg on his face.

But then guess what happened? The stocks went back up. The crypto portfolios returned. Japan rose again.

“Here’s Kamala’s economy for you!” “The stock market went down more under Trump!” “Recession coming!”

That’s what the commoner Bad News Bears were screeching into the abyss, running around with their heads cut off on Monday. Meanwhile, I was searching:

Chappel Roan

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Am I a milennial or Gen Zer?

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The stock market goes down, the stock market goes up, and yada, yada, yada. After one week of optimism, I may stick with this shit for life. Man, I was mimicking LeBron’s flex today after an And-1!

If you start thinking that your life is easier, it becomes just that. In fact, sometimes life is so easy you have to simulate adversity to make sure your body — built for war, hunting, and gathering — is still up for the task.

That’s why you’ve got to get too drunk and clean up the mess the following day here and there in your early 20s, or eat so much food on a Sunday that you feel like shit for two consecutive days. Then, when you’re back to square one, you look at yourself in the mirror and put a fake crown on your head like LeBron, knowing that 8 p.m. Sunday BBQ platter was not going to outlast you.

Put another tally in the win column.

The Air & Water Show is back in Chicago, and what excites me about the Air & Water show is its unique ability to thrill the most unfortunate and the most fortunate at the same time.

Downtrodden hillbillies love looking at the sky and saying “look, a plane go by!” and the richest of the rich love crowding Chicago’s waterways to drink margaritas and act like they know the intricacies of a Blue Angel.

Everyone in between is forced to feel like an early 1940s Londoner while trying to send a few end-of-day emails.

Now, someone of my sensibilities likes his flyovers placed a little bit differently. I enjoy exactly one, immediately followed by 60 minutes of hard-nosed, outdoor football.

None of this, “let’s go down to the lake, crank our necks, watch planes fly above a little bit faster and closer than usual, sweat through our shirts, and then tell everyone we had a nice little day.”

Truth be told, I wish I could be a part of either group: the downtrodden hillbillies that like fireworks and planes flying above; or the ones with boats that can properly enjoy such things without worrying about “work popping up.”

But I know where to pick my spots, and this isn’t one of them.

The pilots would understand. They’ve got a job to do, but so do I.

Don’t ask what your country can do for you, instead ask what you can do for your country. (If you were screaming about the stock market, Kamala, and Trump on Monday, here is your opportunity to scream about the Kennedy assassination, which took place 60 years ago. I know that you know what really happened.)

I was calling out screens for TEAM USA all afternoon in my apartment, sending vicious texts to the only Serbian person I know, only to feel kind of bad about it afterward.

One More Win. LeBron-(handshake emoji)-Me.

Saturday is a big day. Caleb Williams playing in a Bears uniform for the first time, followed by USA v. France in the gold medal game. If anyone knows any French people, tell them to text me on Saturday so I can talk shit to them about Evan Fournier and World War 2. It would mean a lot.

Let’s get into it.

(Shout out to Chicago native and Bulls niche legend E'Twaun Moore for getting hired as a scout for the Bulls. We up!)

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My doorman told me he was so excited for the Hard Knocks premiere that he actually had to rewatch it the next day because he was blacked out drunk for the back half of it.

I wasn’t quite that fired up. But the first Hard Knocks theme song of the year — matched with a montage of the city — raised the hairs on the neck for sure.

The first episode is always a bit of a bore, so I won’t say I was disappointed with the it. But let’s call a spade a spade: that was anywhere from okay to pretty bad.

I enjoyed it because it’s my team, but can’t imagine that anyone else did.

After the Chicago-centric pandering was over (the Bulls old PA announcer introducing Williams was an awesome touch), things kind of went down hill.

I don’t need Kevin Warren looking at a contract and telling Ryan Poles he did a good job on it. What the fuck would he know about that? And I certainly do not need anymore Matt Eberflus airtime.

For the sake of all of us, I hope Flus is a camera shy, socially awkward dude who knows defense in and out and turns the charisma up behind closed doors.

If he’s not, though, I may call him an AI-generated football coach whose creator hasn’t worked out all the kinks yet. Nick Saban’s aight? hits a lot harder than Flus’ right? after everything he says.

‘We gotta execute, right? Winners are not winners, they have winning habits, right? Losers aren’t losers, they have losing habits, right?’

Wow, coach, I’m ready to run through a brick wall.

Now, charisma and speech capabilities are certainly not the be-all, end-all for a head football coach. But I’d also like the head coach of the Chicago Bears to look like he’s talking to Nick Saban on more of a level playing field, and not like he’s still talking to his coach at Toledo in the 1980s.

The players certainly seem to like Eberflus. That’s a really good sign. I wonder, though, do they like him and respect him? Or do they just like him? Is he just a good dude who happens to be their football coach?

He seems like he has a great family. I’m good with never hearing from them ever again. Just about the only relatable note that came across was him being a mid-50s American man that figured out five-plus decades into his life that he can grow out his beard if he wants to — and needing his family to persuade him.

I’m sad the “God Bless The USA” Canadian — nice touch — hurt his hamstring, and I’m frankly grateful no one got hurt on the Slip N’ Slide. Am I becoming a grouch, or is having your starting quarterback slip and bend around on a kid’s toy not the best idea one week into camp?

Anyway, I’m excited for them to start knocking the pads around in next week’s episode.

I want to get back to the layman’s version of watching Hard Knocks: falling in love with random players and then thinking they’re going to be good that year just because you got special access into their practices.

If you can’t tell, Eberflus is one of my concerns for this year. I don’t want to relitigate this, but the Bears should have — and could have had — a top-of-the-line head coach at the helm.

My other concern, which I assume is a more popular one, is the offensive line. I have basically no qualms with how Ryan Poles approached the offseason. I don’t think swinging at random, big-time free agents or trade targets was the right move in 2024 (it will be in the future).

But, naturally, I am concerned about yet another rookie quarterback running for his life from Day 1. I know Williams can handle that environment — he did so last year at USC, albeit at a slower paced game — but I don’t want him to. I don’t want his first instinct to be “Fire Drill,” just like Fields’ was after one year in Chicago.

Teven Jenkins has already been in and out of practice, and that’s why he likely won’t get a new deal this year. I love the dude, but he’s demonstrably incapable of staying on the field.

Darnell Wright is back at practice, but was dealing with something. The rookie Kiran Amegadjie hasn’t been full go.

And then there’s Nate Davis, the Mr. Jabba the Hutt, fat slob, no-good, lazy, bum of a lineman.

Alright, that may be harsh. He was out last year due to personal issues. But he is also a clear “no confidence” guy, who should maybe consider joining the White Sox roster next season.

The Bears have much, much better depth on the O-Line this year than they did in years past. Dan Feeney is not walking through that door.

But, depth is supposed to be a nice-to-have. Not something you’re counting on week in, week out, from training camp until year end.

If the offensive line is not *serviceable*, this year could turn into a disaster quickly. That’s why right now, again, are the good times. Missed practices are only a concern today, not an unavoidable midseason problem.

Injuries are a part of the game, and Chicago’s sports teams sure are hellbent on reminding you of that. Every day, I open my computer and am confused. Wait, what happened to him? Tyrique Stevenson? Kyler Gordon? Darnell Wright?

I’m trusting everything will work out, and that I’m biased toward believing the Bears have a bigger injury problem than everyone else.

And, lastly, when did we become something other than Chicago Bears fans? Why do people expect Caleb Williams to be a pro bowler in Year 1? Is it CJ Stroud? Is it his draft placement?

I’m already seeing panic derived from negative camp reports of Williams struggling. Why are we surprised he’s struggling? He’s a rookie!

We get a couple of offseasons to go our way and think that Tom Brady is going to drop in our laps. The progress here will not be linear.

Everything is going to be fine, but prepare yourselves — at least — for turmoil.

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White Sox, White Sox, Go, Go White Sox! That’s the second-longest MLB losing streak to you, douche bag!

Pedro Grifol and half of his coaching staff are gone, and the Sox have avoided disaster, disaster most of its own fans were rooting for as it neared.

I’m just relieved that the Cubs didn’t have the chance to end it Friday or Saturday.

The question is: why now?

What did Grifol do at this point to get Chris Getz and Jerry Reinsdorf to sign off on a firing?

There’s no doubt that Grifol is not fit to be a major league manager, but that was evident last year. The front office is rewarded no points for their efforts here.

Plus, you could take Craig Counsell, Terry Francona, Tony La Russa, Bobby Cox and Bruce Bochey, roll ‘em all into one, put ‘em into a White Sox uniform, and this team would still be hovering around 30 wins. Let’s not kid ourselves.

"Obviously there was something that was broken,” Getz said. “There were flaws in the roster, but we expected to be better."

Flaws is one of the of the most loaded words ever used in a sentence here. Flaws? Does that account for not having any good players on a major league baseball team?

Getz also valiantly said that “perhaps” the Sox would need to add more talent for next year.

Check me if I’m exaggerating, but I don’t think I am. If you were a covert operator, hellbent on destroying the White Sox organization over the past couple of years, would you have done anything differently? Could you possibly have done a better job? Because I don’t think so.

The Sox, by every metric, are one of the few worst teams of all time this year. Their hitting metrics are staggering, and they’re still in the mix for worst record in the live-ball era.

But it doesn’t stop there. There’s zero systems in place to turn White Sox prospects into competent MLB players, nor is there one in place to keep them on the field if they do figure out how to throw a curve ball with command or hit a ball out of the park.

And wait, there’s more. The Sox have gone from having the best broadcast booth in the league to objectively the worst, particularly when Steve Stone is gone.

Stone could be gone for good soon, too. I wouldn’t blame him if he left on his own accord, but I also wouldn’t be shocked if the geniuses on the South Side decided to get younger alongside the Schriff Dog.

It’s 2026. The Sox are on their third year of “rebuilding,” Getz is still saying the roster “has some holes,” Jerry Reinsdorf is building Disneyland in the UC parking lot and John Schriffen and Gordon Beckham are calling the games.

The term “unwatchable” will have close to no meaning in American life outside of Guaranteed Rate Field, and the homes it’s being broadcasted into.

Good luck, Grady Sizemore!

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I remember writing here in May that, while much about this Cubs team is fixable, the bullpen is certainly not. I was wrong.

This is part of what is frustrating about Jed Hoyer’s Cubs teams. His ability to do the harder parts of the job is evident, but it’s his overall team-building ethos that holds him back elsewhere.

Jorge Lopez — who the Cubs traded for earlier this year — has a 0.54 ERA in 14 games pitched. Tyson Miller, who the Cubs also picked up midseason, has a 1.52 ERA in 28 games.

Michael Busch, meanwhile, has 16 home runs as a rookie, and leads the league in defensive runs saved for first basemen. In March, he looked like he’d be close to incompetent in the field.

We’ll see how the Isaac Paredes trade turns out in the long term, but he had a multi-hit game the other day. He also hit his 70th career homer. All 70 of his homers have been pulled, according to Christopher Kamka.

Pete Crow-Armstrong probably gets too much pub in this newsletter, but he has really turned the corner at the plate. The fly ball on Saturday aside, his last month or so has been exactly what the doctor ordered.

Seiya Suzuki is now firmly one of the best 25 hitters in all of baseball, and Christian Bethancourt is smashing the ball and running around the bases like a full-time QB Dad trying to prevent a pick 6 after throwing an interception on Thanksgiving.

It’s all likely too late, though. The Cubs have a positive (+7) run differential now, but are still three games under, 9.5 out of the division, and 5 out of the Wild Card.

I’ll take a late-season run. But I’m not betting on it.

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Thank you for reading another newsletter! I deeply appreciate it, and I hope you’ll refer it to a friend or family member. STILL GOTTA COME THROUGH CHICAGO!