As I stared into the mirror one day around the age of 12, I knew two things to be true: the Cubs were winning the World Series in 2008 on the 100th anniversary of their last World Series and that I could no longer live a life pretending or aspiring to be Chris Brown.
At the end of the day, if you dance and sing as if you’re Chris Brown in your own home long enough, it becomes evident that your chubby, freckly, extremely white self will not be able to attain that dream, no matter how many times you watch Stomp The Yard with your supportive mother.
It didn’t make me less of a person, and Andy Dalton finally being demoted to back-up quarterback at 33 years of age behind a far more talented 22-year old does not make him less of a man or football player.
In the end, you can dance to Wall to Wall or sing Say Goodbye about a make-believe soon-to-be ex-girlfriend all you want, and you can say Andy Dalton is the quarterback when healthy all you please, but eventually, reality catches up to everyone — no matter how delusional you are at the age of 12, or as Matt Nagy is at the ripe age of 43.
These were both tough decisions internally that should never have been difficult at all. In the end, it saved me from worshipping a domestic abuser and will save the Bears — at least temporarily — from any more national embarrassment.
One day, Matt Nagy will be gone, as will Ryan Pace. Who knows if we will ever rid ourselves of the McCaskeys, but as a Bears fan, its best to take these things one step at a time.
While Ryan Pace keeps trading draft capital for kick returners and operating his team as if they are in competition with the Rams and Packers of the world, we can draw warmth from Fields being the starter for the foreseeable future, if nothing else.
And that deserves some perspective. If you would have told me that Justin Fields was the Bears Week 5 starter six months ago, prior to the NFL Draft, I would have been convinced that either he had been caught smoking crack the night before the draft or there was another journeyman quarterback with the exact same name that I was unaware of.
We can return now to how we felt directly after the draft. Most of what’s going on organizationally is shit — we have an offensive guru incapable of calling plays for a successful offense, a GM who makes trades and pays people like we’re a player away from a ring, a president who is an accountant with no football background, a buffoon of a chairman, and a sector of a fanbase who wants a corny suburban stadium so we can host a Super Bowl we have no chance of contending for — but we have a glimmering light at QB, which is basically all we ever wanted.
We’re essentially taking comfort in the beautiful cheeseburger on our plate at the end of the night when work sucks, your love life is shit and your house is being foreclosed on. But goddamn, the next 13 bites of that cheeseburger are going to be good no matter what.
I wonder what changed. Nagy named Fields the starter moving forward Tuesday after saying that anyone — including Nick Foles — could start the last game. Even after a great Fields performance, he again said that Dalton was the starter when healthy before changing course.
Perhaps it was fan pressure, or pressure from the media — both nationally and locally. Either way, someone had to have laid the hammer down at Halas Hall. We’ll likely never know whether it was Nagy’s choice, Pace’s choice, or from someone higher in the organization. But something concrete clearly happened over the last 48 hours.
It’s newsworthy for sure, and it’s very exciting news. Both of those facts are only made possible, however, by the fact that the Bears have been in their own way throughout this entire process. For almost any other organization, naming the best — and most promising — QB on your roster the starter would be run of the mill. For the Bears, it was the world’s toughest rubik’s cube, but in the end, they figured it out, and will now likely tell us they had it figured out the whole time.
The bottom line take that I draw from this news is that no matter what, this season will not be a waste. Last year felt like a waste, another inefficient year nearing us closer to the bottom and not the top. Had Andy Dalton continued quarterbacking this Bears team, this year would have been all for naught in almost every way.
Now, this year will mean something. And it will also be entertaining. Our aspirations should be higher — we should not be applauding basic decisions and clinging to a team that won the Super Bowl before half of the fan base was even born. But we’re here anyway, and a meaningful, entertaining season will easily beat out what would have been the alternative. And it took a bone bruise to a quarterback who is far past his prime to get here.
Beyond that, there’s not much more to say about Fields getting the starting position. The warts remain, but dare I say, with Bill Lazor calling plays and Fields reenergizing the entire team’s purpose, this team could make some noise. That noise may be a leaf blowing on the sidewalk at 3 a.m. at night, but again, it beats the sound of solitary confinement.
On the bright side, Matt Nagy got to watch an NFL game from the sidelines for the first time in a long time Sunday as Bill Lazor rightfully called plays. For once, he didn’t have his dimwitted head zeroed in on whatever the hell is on that godforsaken laminated play sheet in his hand.
At this point, Nagy has proven himself not worthy of calling plays, a fact I think that he was last to be alerted to. In the games that we know for sure Lazor was calling the plays over the last two years, the offense has looked far better. It’s become blatantly clear that it is not a duty Nagy can hold.
Still, his ego got in the way as he barely congratulated Lazor on a good game plan before declaring that “everything still goes through him.”
Nagy has reached another level as Head Coach We Want Fired. His press conferences are delusional, egotistical and sometimes just incoherent. He’s like a roommate or co-worker that you like at first, then start to think is just kind of not your type of person, and then eventually are worried they may try to murder you.
I used to write about specific things he said in press conferences here and there, but at this point, it’s almost too much. He cannot go a single press conference without completely unraveling.
The delusions know no bounds, but the incoherent answers are still the best. Here’s one from this past week:
Source: Jason Lieser, Chicago Sun-Times
Excuse my language, but what the absolute fuck is that? I’ve gotten better dialogue from a drunk friend 45 minutes before he pissed his own bed at the age of 24.
At this point, Nagy is not good at dealing with the media. He can’t call offensive plays as an offensive coach. He’s not good at being a head coach in game, in terms of calling time outs or challenging plays. The only thing he has going for him that Jim Boylen didn’t is that there has not been a player mutiny.
I sincerely doubt that the players respect him much at this point. They’re no dummies, and they see what we all see.
He’s in a head-to-head battle with Urban Meyer right now for the title of Least Credible Head Coach in the NFL. And one was sticking his fingers up young girls’ butt cracks this past weekend in public.
Ryan Pace traded a future sixth round pick for the kick return specialist Jakeem Grant earlier this week.
I know you’re thinking at this point that a sixth round pick is nothing, but that’s just not the case in the NFL. Draft capital is so important for roster building and it’s something Pace has either completely ignored during his time here or just failed to understand.
As I mentioned before, these are the kinds of moves that should be made my Super Bowl contenders only. A franchise QB fell into your lap, now let’s not test our luck. The Bears, frankly, should be on the other end of these trades.
Let’s take a look at some moves Pace made this offseason, as it seems his incompetence flies under the radar these days thanks to Nagy’s press conferences. You can poke holes in plenty of the moves Pace has made during his tenure, but again, this is just this offseason:
Andy Dalton, $10 million… back-up QB now, back-up QB last year making $3 million, etc., etc.
Let Kyle Fuller go
Let Charles Leno Jr. go (and signed a 39-year old that was fishing two weeks before the season to fill his spot because he relied on an injury-prone rookie to fill that spot before him)
This one is especially important:
Let Cordarrelle Patterson go. Patterson was the Bears best special teamer. By the way, he also can return kicks! Oh, and Patterson makes $3 million this year with the Falcons. He has 119 rushing yards, 235 receiving yards on 18 receptions, and 4 touchdowns just four weeks in. Hold this thought.
Jimmy Graham was not let go. He will make $7 million this year. He cannot return kicks or do anything outside of catch passes. He has one reception this year.
And there’s a slew of other missteps.
The Bears defense is not the same as it was in 2018, or even close to it. If it wasn’t for the Lions going one for five on Red Zone trips this past game, we’d be speaking of them in a much different tone.
With that being said, Robert Quinn — much to my surprise — has played fantastic. Outside of that insanely idiotic personal foul penalty he made in the Bengals game, he’s been a major bright spot.
What’s not surprising is that this has allowed DC Sean Desai to be creative, and it’s made Khalil Mack’s job a lot easier. It turns out when you’re not being triple teamed and aren’t the only truly guy worth honing in on, the path to the ball carrier becomes clearer.
Akiem Hicks is not practicing, and Eddie Goldman has still not contributed in close to two years. I love rooting for Hicks, but man, there’s another guy you could have let go if you were looking to penny pinch in the offseason. It’s become pretty clear that he’s just not a guy who will be playing 16 or 17 games anymore, or probably even close to it.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the Bears had trouble with a pretty damn good Raiders offense this Sunday, but then again, Jaylon Johnson and co. have been pretty good. Eddie Jackson has largely looked like a waste of money, but things have generally worked out okay in the defensive backfield.
In regards to injuries, the David Montgomery news hurts. But there are two ways to look at this. The first is that his looming five-week absence is really going cause trouble, and relying Damien Williams isn’t ideal for a rookie QB, especially when Montgomery was playing as well as he was.
The second way you can look at it, though, is that when he went down we all thought he could be gone for the season. The fact that it’s only five weeks, and not a Tarik Cohen situation (remember him?), is a godsend.
I hate to do this to myself, I really do. But despite all the aforementioned, I love the Bears this week +5.5. There are going to be tens of thousands of Bears fans in Vegas to watch Justin Fields officially take the helm as our new leader and savior. I think this new direction will energize the team, and I think Desai will be creative enough to force a couple more turnovers off of Derek Carr.
Against my better judgement, as always, BEAR DOWN!
The year is 2021 and Dusty Baker and Tony La Russa are about to face off in the ALDS. My usual snarkiness aside, that’s pretty awesome.
It’s made cooler by the fact that the 72-year old and 77-year old absolutely despise each other.
They played together in 1971 on the Braves, then La Russa actually managed Baker with the Athletics 15 years later.
The feud began, however, during La Russa’s reign with the Cardinals. First, the Giants (Dusty’s team) and the Cardinals got in a brawl over Kenny Lofton (you may have forgotten he played for the Giants) didn’t run the bases fast enough on a homer. I’m so shocked the Cardinals got mad about something like that.
How is it possible an organization, no matter how much their players and coaches change, remain a bunch of butthurt losers?
When the benches cleared, Dusty and Tony got into it so badly on the field that each of the managers were fined for the incident.
Then, in 2003, during a fight between the Cubs and the Cardinals, the two screamed at each other for multiple minutes in a row, seemingly challenging each other to a legitimate fight.
Years later, in 2010, the Reds (Baker’s next team) got in a wild bench clearing fight and Dusty and Tony again were punished for their involvement again, which mind you, is a rarity.
Since then, even when La Russa wasn’t managing at all, a Cold War-like feud continued.
I love any part of baseball that makes a series seem more than just that, and also anything that can bring us back to the Glory Days of the MLB, the early 2000s.
For what it’s worth, I think Dusty Baker is an awesome guy. I don’t think he’s a great manager at this point, however. He was brought into Houston to be a good guy, not a blatant cheater, and provide some stability. Now he’ll be calling the shots in the playoffs for the second year in a row. La Russa’s managing woes from earlier in the season have mostly stabilized, but it will be interesting to see how both of these guys manage this series.
The Astros (-130) are favored in the series over the Sox (+110). I can tell you that I’ll be hammering that Sox line. This really feels like a situation where the Astros, albeit still a very strong team, are being given the benefit of the doubt because of the last five years or so. Not necessarily in that line, either, but just nationally.
Outside of Chicago, I’m not sure many are picking the Sox to win, and I think that’s a major oversight. Justin Verlander and Gerrit Cole ain’t walking through that door. Zack Greinke is not even a starter.
In reality, the two teams are very even, which should make this series an incredible win. Both had similar records in the regular season, and neither played particularly well down the stretch. Over August and September, the Astros were just a few games over .500, with a couple really brutal stretches in there.
The White Sox also finished playing .500-type baseball, but they also did so in a situation that lent itself to taking their foot off the brakes.
The Astros are awesome offensively, as they have been. That has not changed. There are basically no holes in their lineup. But there are almost no holes in the Sox lineup either.
On the other side of things, though, the Astros really don’t have great starting pitching or a bullpen, where the Sox do.
I personally think the Sox are going to hammer the Astros pitching and win this series in four games, closing out a series on the South Side for the first time since 2005. What I think matters the most is how long the Sox starting pitchers can go in each game.
Jose Abreu has been mysteriously out with an illness and not with the team for the last few days. But it is not a COVID-related illness, so I doubt he’ll miss any time, no matter how he’s feeling come game time.
The schedule for this series is just dreadful. There should have been some sort of clause that if you haven’t watched your team play a real playoff series with fans in the stands in 13 years, you get to pick your schedule.
A 3:07 start today and 1:07 start Friday are tough.
I’d recommend burning one of those PTO days on Friday, folks. First half of the day, get a sweat in, mentally prepare. Walk around the town and head nod at a few others with Sox gear on. Breathe in the fall air and remind yourself that despite the nerves, it’s so goddamn cool to be a part of playoff baseball — a sport that is not anything like regular season baseball.
It’s fleeting and it’s nerve-racking as shit. Every pitch feels like the last one. You’ll never wish for a mid-July meaningless game more. Beers feel good for your health more than they ever will again. But the next playoff game is never promised, as both Cubs and Sox fans know very well. So enjoy it.
The blackout Sunday night at Guaranteed Rate will likely be one of the coolest spectacles in Chicago sports in recent memory. There’s a lot of pent up energy, and it’s going to get let out.
I’m genuinely concerned for the fans that parlay a Bears-game day drink into a night playoff game.
I’ll be in the house wearing a Frankie Schwindel jersey, but I’ll be rooting for the Sox.
If you’re a Cubs fan and rooting against the Sox in this series, I’d tell you to 1. stop acting like a Sox fan 2. Go back and watch any clip from the trash can saga and remind yourself who you’re rooting for instead, if you go that route.
Just kidding. About what? You’ll have to guess.
It’s playoff time in Chicago, baby! LANCE LYNN, MOUND UP!
You idiots really thought I wasn’t going to write about the Bulls absolutely dominating the Cavaliers in the first preseason game?
Stacey King has already dubbed the group “Chi Slamma Jamma” as they threw alley oops to each other and generally just looked like the best Bulls team that’s taken the floor in the UC since 2015.
King has been top-notch for those six years in between, never dimming down his enthusiasm. For someone that watches every game no matter their record, that’s something I really appreciate.
If you want to know how awesome and all-in King is, understand that I ordered a Cameo from him for Father’s Day and he legit talked to my Dad through the phone like he knew him for ten straight minutes. I honestly think he forgot that he was doing a Cameo at one point.
But back to the Bulls. Yes, it’s the preseason. But my God they were flying around.
Good basketball players like playing with other good basketball players. It’s a novel concept. LaVine over the years has been, at times, a little too shot heavy, but to his defense, he literally had no good players around him. After the Team USA experience, I think LaVine is going to have his best year ever — and that will have nothing to do with his PPG output.
People are conflating the DeMar DeRozan deal with the actual basketball contributions he can make. Was the deal a little outrageous, sure, but that does not mean that he won’t make the Bulls better.
For the people that actually think the Bulls won’t be taking a major step this year, I seriously want you to consider the fact that Billy Donovan was forced to play Denzel Valentine nearly 20 minutes per game last year and Ryan Arcidiacono another 10.
Forgive me for thinking DeMar DeRozan, Lonzo Ball, and Alex Caruso may boost this team’s performance a bit. The Bulls no longer have negative players all over their roster.
Denzel Valentine and Lauri Markkanen are both now on the Cavs, by the way. Lauri tried to post up Lonzo and could not do it. No surprise. Denzel Valentine was boo’d by Bulls fans every time he got the ball. Bon Voyage!
It’s clear that Donovan is going to have a system implemented where Vucevic, LaVine and DeRozan are all heavily involved in the offense. Easier said than done, sure, but a general pass-first philosophy will fit this team so well that I can’t see the players not buying into it.
I cannot wait to see this team play in real games, and I cannot wait to see how much better they get over the course of the season.
As for the defense, which lazy people think is going to be dreadful, I would genuinely not be surprised if it was decent. And that’s all it needs to be, considering that the Bulls offense should be a top 6 or 7 unit.
All of the Bulls role players are fantastic defenders. Meanwhile, LaVine showed in international play that he can play good defense when he’s empowered to do so. Vucevic and DeRozan are good enough on offense that it makes up for what they lack on the other end.
Book it right now, the Bulls will have a middle-of-the-pack defense. They will win more than 42 games (and hit the over). You’ll grow to love role players like Javonte Green and Alex Caruso as you did Bench Mob members in the last decade.
The Bulls season is mere weeks away. And that means the annual Bulls OVER video is in the works. CAN’T WAIT.
LETS GO BULLS.
To all my newsletter readers and subscribers, sorry for the absence over the last couple weeks. I had a busy couple of work weeks and a move to handle. The newsletter will be in your inbox more regularly moving forward. Thank you so much for coming back and reading. I didn’t allow myself a call to action on the front end, because I didn’t deserve it. But now I’ll plug myself.
Get someone to subscribe today:
And god dammit, leave a comment. STILL GOTTA COME THROUGH CHICAGO!
Kings Back!!!
Starting with the Bears- I've tried to follow along with the "decision" of who will be starting at QB and it comes down to Nagy being a people pleaser who sucks at his job. I genuinely think that when him and Pace brought on Dalton- they didn't have any idea they could nab Fields in the draft and promised him that he would be their starting quarterback. Coupled with the fact that it would save their jobs for a little if they sucked with Dalton. This Rubiks cube you eluded to would be such a no brainer decision for a coach/GM not trying to buy time to stick around. I haven't talked to a single Bears fan that stands with Nagy at this point- which is tough to find. I belive Jim Boylen is the worst head coach I've seen in my lifetime in any major sport, but my disdain for Nagy is reaching that level.
Isn't it a little sad how hard we cling to the 1985 Super Bowl? That was 36 years ago. I've made fun of White Sox fans who won't shut up about 2005 but at least they were alive for it.
That being said, I am obviously a Cubs fan but would be fun to see the Sox to some damage. I'll be standing outside of GRate banging a garbage can calling everyone in an Astros jersey I see a scumbag cheater.
First things first, let me know where you got a burger that lasted for 13 bites.
I was a Nagy supporter for way too long and my hand is up for being a dumb sack of shit for it, and I apologize. I never thought anyone in the world outside of Kim Jong-un could do a press conference and be so arrogant, and so blind to their own arrogance. The "everything goes through me" is the biggest slap in the face to Bill Lazor, and I would have to guess the entire locker room wants Nagy's head on a spike. I am very curious who in their "internal conversations" and "collaboration" told Nagy he's a waste of air standing on the Bears sideline, and I want to shake their hand. Ryan Pace is clueless - having the oldest roster in the NFL and no draft capital does not sound like a recipe for success with a rookie quarterback.
Holy hell the Bulls are going to be fun to watch. I don't have too much to say on them other than thank god Lauri is gone, I have never seen a softer 7 footer in NBA history and think I would be hard pressed to find one.
I'll be cheering for the Sox, but don't want to see any success for La Russa so I'm in a bind. Screw that guy.
Go Hawks, Go Bears