Happy Victory Friday Chicago!
Editor’s Note: The first half of this was written Wednesday night, the second half was written Thursday night, after the Bears game. It’s called working on deadline. Warning: there’s quite the juxtaposition between the two sections.
In a single week: the Cubs were officially eliminated after having a 93% chance to make the postseason just three weeks prior; the Bears lost a franchise-record 14th game in a row, blowing a 21-point lead to another 0-3 team on the way; and the Bulls opened their season unofficially with their media day.
That’s not even mentioning the White Sox, who set out to win the division and then lost their 101st game Sunday.
Matt Eberflus kicked things off in his Monday press conference with some prepared remarks that I really hope weren’t prepared. If you’re a head coach that has just led a franchise to its worst losing streak in over 100 years, you probably should prepare. But I hope he didn’t. If he didn’t, his stuttering and bumbling can at least be chalked up to that. If he did prepare, God help his children. Daddy is a moron.
On one hand, he looked like a substitute teacher. On the other hand, he sounded like a college freshman remarking on the topic at hand only because he had to to earn participation points.
When referring to the Bears electing to go for it on fourth down with minutes remaining in the game, in lieu of kicking a field goal to go up three points, he said they felt that was the best decision, and that he’d do it again. He added that the Bears needed to get better at “doing a good job of capturing the game.”
New synonym for “win” officially unlocked.
If you shut the video off after the opening statement, you’d think this was the coach of a team that won by 30 against Sam Houston State in Week 1, a coach that didn’t want his team’s collective head to get too big. They did a good job passing, running, on special teams and defending, he said. Still got to work on doing a good job at “capturing” those games, though.
His inconsistent and incoherent answers to the media in attendance about what was going on with Chase Claypool were so cringeworthy, I almost needed to forgo by newsletter reporting duties and shut the video off.
He originally said on Sunday that Chase Claypool — who was not active for Sunday’s game — did not come to the game after being given the option to stay at home or attend. The Bears PR staff needed to correct him, and now the most major sports organization in the country’s third largest city is all on the same page, folks: Claypool was ordered to stay home.
We’ve been assured by the Bears brass time and again this year that there’s no panic internally, that things are looking up. They did that so early in the season, in fact, that it was an immediate sign that things were not okay. Us fans would have bitched about a few opening losses, sure, but the Bears rhetoric was what truly let us in early on how big of a mess this particular operation was. It’s like the Dominos near my apartment that has rainbow stripes painted all over its entrance and delivery cars with the words “Everyone is welcome here” plastered on those rainbows. I figured everyone was allowed at the corner Dominos, but now I’m almost inclined to think they were denying service to gay people within the last year.
“No one is panicking here.”
The Bears don’t know how to win — or “capture” — football games, first and foremost. They also don’t know how to do anything else, though. Every step they take to ease the pressure — in football operations or otherwise — is another sign of organizational decay.
I should add that they are the first team to allow 25 or more points in 14 consecutive games in the history of the NFL.
I was hilariously wrong about Claypool. I thought he’d work out in Chicago as a third option, and that he’d have a good year. It turns out there was a reason the Steelers were ready to get rid of him in the first place.
But I could not have been more right, last week, about the Chicago Bears abyss:
I’ve heard a lot of the “this is rock bottom” takes the last few days. My brothers and sisters of the fourth phase, please never say things like that. Firstly, are we sure it hasn’t been this bad before — under Trestman, under Nagy? Secondly, “this is rock bottom” suggests that there’s nowhere lower to go. And if you believe the Bears’ situation can’t get worse than this, I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you.
Next up is Thursday night (I’m writing this part beforehand, with a late-night recap to follow). Sports are supposed to be a respite from everyday life. This is no respite. This is no way for us to live.
At the very least, this Sunday will be a Bear-less one. Let’s get this over with.
You may have wondered why I included the Bulls media day with the Bears historical losing streak and the Cubs historical end-of-the-season collapse. Well, that’s because it was a really good reminder that there is no light at the end of tunnel.
When I think of Arturas Karnisovas — the Bulls executive vice president of basketball operations — I think of the likes of Martin Luther King Jr. and Winston Churchill. Some of the best public speakers and leaders of all time.
How can you not compare them?
MLK: “I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.”
Winston Churchill: “We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”
And, best yet, Karnisovas: “For this group, we want to get into the playoffs. Once you get in the playoffs, there’s an opportunity for a lot of teams. And it goes into matchups, it goes into if you’re healthy, so there’s a lot of factors once you get into the playoffs. So I think there’s an opportunity there to make noise. So that would be my view for this team.”
Who else wants to run through a brick fucking wall? LETS GO BULLS!
Shoot for the stars — you may just land on the moon.
Alright, but if that didn’t get you to rush toward the season ticket window at the United Center, how about this?
DeMar DeRozan on why this year would be different, with the same team and the same “stars”: “The third time is the charm,” he said.
The RED is intensifying in my eyesight, only outpaced by the Stockholm Syndrome.
Yeah, the Bucks may have gotten Damian Lillard. The Celtics may have gotten Jrue Holiday. But did they not know the third time is the charm for this Bulls squad?
If those comments weren’t depressing enough, the Bulls were parading poor Lonzo Ball around with a game jersey on. The guy isn’t even going to play this year. That’s not an opinion, either. That’s a fact.
I won’t even get into the reality that the Bulls could have feasibly traded for Jrue Holiday, because there’s a dark, cold winter ahead of us that will require plenty of Bulls content.
The Bulls can’t compete for a lot of reasons. But I will say that the premier issue is the Bulls can’t compete, just like their sister organization, the White Sox, because they’re cheap.
When asked if the Bulls were willing to enter the luxury tax, Karnisovas said they would if they can confirm “this is the group.” Excuse my language. That’s your job, fuckhead! If it wasn’t the group, why is it the group? Everyone else knows this isn’t the group, which is why his answer is another way of saying, “No, we’re not going to go into the luxury tax.”
“They act like going into the luxury tax is a blood oath,” The Athletic’s Jon Greenberg noted.
By this point, it feels as if the Cubs are the only team that should be omitted from the lead into this newsletter. Their collapse was improbable and embarrassing, sure, but at least I have a sense that they know how to win and are going to try to do so next season. I don’t feel that way about any other organization in Chicago right now.
I ended last week’s introduction with an inclusion of the song ‘Same Oul’ Town.’ This week, I’ll evoke one of my other favorite artists, James Taylor.
It’s not from one of his timeless songs, however. It’s from his audio autobiography I listened to a few years back. When touching on his battle with depression, he said: eventually, I accepted it is a part of who I am.
The Chicago sports scene could be cause for depression, but it’s also like James Taylor’s description of it. It’s nasty, it’s unrelenting, but ultimately, it’s a part of who I am.
Still ready to run through that brick wall with me?
Let’s see what happened in Thursday night’s Bears game, shall we? Did they run anymore naked boots where Justin Fields turns around to an unblocked defender rapidly approaching him? The anticipation is killing me. You all know the answers.
I, at this point, have all of that ahead of me.
Thursday, 10:14 p.m., Chicago, IL:
For immediate release: We’re Back.
Forget all of the above! What’d I say? I don’t even remember what I wrote. I’m BEARING DOWN now and I can’t be held accountable for any of my actions or words when I’m pumping a syringe full of blue and orange into my ass cheek.
The depression comments toward the bottom of the introduction feel a little bit over the top now.
Good news: the Bears won. Bad news: it may have cost us half of the team.
I was already ashamed enough when Greg Stroman intercepted a ball in the first half and I said, “Who?”
But that’s tomorrow’s problem.
We won one. They let us win one, those dumb mother fuckers!
We also — to some extent — probably should have expected that ending given a worn down and young defensive backfield, as well as an offensive backfield void of any healthy running backs. It’s admittedly tough to run the clock down when no one can run the ball besides your quarterback.
(It especially sucks that we lost Khalil Herbert after the game he was having.)
Luke Getsy should be charged with war crimes for his game plans over the first three weeks. No matter how good Fields or the offense looks moving forward, the strategic start to this season remains inexcusable.
The worst part of these kind of wins is that it makes you think about where this team could be: for sure 2-3, and potentially 3-2. If the approach to these last two games was deployed against the Bucs, there’s no doubt in my mind the Bears could have won that game.
The best part is that we can maintain the delusion that things are looking up, which makes life from today through next Saturday much more enjoyable. The Vikings at home? Win. The Raiders up next? Win.
It looks like Matt Eberflus has finally discovered the magic of blitzing. Sure, lay off Mahomes. But Mayfield, Love, Howell? Help out your subpar defensive line and bring the pressure.
For the first time all year, the Bears were finally winning battles consistently in the trenches. You were hearing Andrew Billings’ name, DeMarcus Walker’s name. The Bears had 5 sacks tonight — and it could have been 7 or 8. They had 2 total on the season coming into the game.
Teven Jenkins made a visible difference on the offensive line in the first half. Frankly, it was stunning how big of a difference that was.
On D.J. Moore: I think people forgot that he has actually played well the first four weeks. He didn’t even have bad numbers coming in. Now he just had the best game of his career. His performance was of the WR1+ variety tonight. My only gripe is that the Bears sometimes forget he exists for a quarter, only for him to finally get the ball again, for him to make an incredible move in space, and then get robbed of yet another touchdown for … apparently stepping out of bounds? He did not step out of bounds. His 230-yard, 3-touchdown night would have been a 261-yard, 4-touchdown night had the ref not had his head up his ass.
On Cole Kmet: I want to not like Cole Kmet so badly, and I don’t know why. Every time he catches the ball he looks like my 63-year-old Uncle trying to shimmy away from a defender or break a tackle. But, at the same time, he seems to get open. And he also seems to make critical blocks when we need him to.
On the Bears rookies: Amazingly, these guys seem less scared and dragged down by the early season woes than anyone. There were mistakes, sure, but Tyrique Stevenson, Terell Smith, man. Granted, I think they’re both hurt too. Thank God for the long week.
Justin Fields is now 43/64 with 619 yards of passing, 8 touchdowns and 1* interception (*miscommunication interception) over his last two games. Keep unloading the clip. The guy is talented as all get out, continue to leverage that. He looked great tonight, even if things did get slightly shaky toward the end.
As for Matt Eberflus, he may still be a moron. For now, he’s our moron. The Bears have showed improvement the past two weeks, and if I have to tip my hat to the guy that just lost 14 straight games at year’s end, I’d be elated to.
I’m happy for the guys. They’re just cogs in the wheel of a shitty organization. It must suck to practice every day with no reward at the end of the week for a full calendar year. They deserve that postgame celebration.
More than anything, I’m happy for us.
On the day Dick Butkus — one of the best Americans and Chicagoans ever — passed away, the Bears losing would have been an unforgivable offense. At least they didn’t do that. For today, we can all be happy.
…. don’t say it… don’t say it….
BEAR DOWN!
The Bulls are winning the Eastern Conference.
STILL GOTTA COME THROUGH CHICAGO, and I will SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!
I dont want to hear about the tank for picks. Let the Panthers do that for us.
I saw what I saw! Against a team that just took the Eagles to OT! Now we Go!
The moment I heard Dick Butkus died, I felt the Bears were going to win. We are in a rebuild. Shame on all of us for thinking that we were going to go from 3-13 to 10-7. It was never going to happen. Both the offense and the defense are full of players who are essentially brand new to the scheme. I am still behind Eberflus. He is an "attention to detail" guy and if you look at the best coaches they are all attention to detail people.
I am not on board with drafting Caleb Williams if we get that pick. That trade would be the mother load in return which we use to continue the rebuild. We DO NOT start over!
I thought Richard Sherman summed it up best when he said "the heavily underdog Chicago Bears came in here beat up and went on to lose more defensive backs, more linemen and all of their running backs and still fought like hell and won the game. It was flat out impressive." That doesn't happen to shitty coaches.
In for a Penny, In for a Pound!