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I don’t know what’s more depressing: The fact that the Bears played a football game and I ate a cauliflower pizza that I bought at the store in lieu of a ordering a real one or that Matt Nagy is the coach of the Bears, will continue to be the coach of the Bears, and does not even come close to deserving it.
I don’t know what’s more embarrassing: The fact that I spent all day giddy awaiting whatever the fuck we just watched or that the Bears, a once-proud franchise, have been held to less than 65 rush yards in four consecutive games for the first time in the Super Bowl era.
I don’t know what’s more dumbfounding: The fact that I froze my ass off in Soldier Field last year watching Matt Nagy get buried by his former team for 60 straight minutes, waving a goddamn towel around like a moron every third down right before Pat Mahomes completed a 36-yard pass, and yet still believed something may change in Year Three or that Ted Ginn Jr. is still allowed anywhere near a punt team.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me for three years straight, shame on me.
Speaking of fooling, Nagy has not fooled a defense a single time this year in the most offensively-biased era in the history of the National Football League.
Nagy should be fired immediately.
Nick Foles openly told the ESPN crew that Nagy calls plays that he knows he will be unable to execute. That’s one of the most damning things I’ve ever heard out of a quarterback’s mouth about his head coach, and they allegedly have a good relationship.
(Foles has since denied that he said this, but I’m more inclined to believe he did say it and assumed Brian Griese wouldn’t use it against him on the broadcast.)
Nagy let the clock run out on a Rams fourth down before the half, essentially waving the white flag and admitting that his team was so ill-prepared that he was too scared to give them a chance to make something happen with 30 seconds left, down only seven points.
That’s two fireable offenses revealed in one game.
His usage of timeouts is unexplainable. Worse yet, his execution out of them is abysmal.
Here’s what he did after every stoppage in play that the Bears had in this game while they had the ball, including a first half time out, the two-minute warning, and a challenge that essentially acted as a time out:
-Sack
-Sack
-Flip to Cordarelle Patterson in what may have been the worst 4th down attempt I have ever seen.
He should be stripped of every single responsibility that he has right now, maybe with the exception of yelling BOOM in the locker room after a win, as if he had anything to do with it.
The Bears are one of the most penalized teams in the league. Some awful calls have absolutely played a part in that, but that’s just another sign that your team is consistently unprepared.
The Bears looked as if they had played on Thursday Night, and had to scramble to prepare for another game on Monday. They had a full week to develop a game plan and that’s what we got?
Aaron Donald’s body language alone on the bench — while only up seven — should be reason to fire Nagy. The disparity in the trenches today legitimately looked like Alabama playing the Western Carolina Catamounts in Week 11. Donald had hardly broke a sweat and was laughing like a little kid with his classmates on the sideline.
The Bears rarely inspired any sort of confidence on offense, and when they did, Nagy decided to roll with his third best catching tight end and a Darnell Mooney corner route on the goal line.
As they said on the broadcast, NFL teams have converted 4th and 1 at a 64% clip over the last ten years. Does anyone ever think the Bears are going to convert when in that situation?
People were joking on Twitter last night about bringing back Marc Trestman. That is no laughing matter. Trestman was brought in because he was an offensive guru, just like Nagy was. At the very least, the team had one good offensive year under him. Trestman — one of the most disgraced coaches in Bears history — was a better head coach than Nagy in every single way besides maybe managing the personalities on the team.
Trestman led an offense that was the second best in the NFL in terms of points scored in his first year. His defense ranked 30th that year, and 31st the next, because Mel Tucker was at the helm — a man who just got blown out by Rutgers this past weekend and has failed at literally every place he’s been besides Georgia, where Kirby Smart effectively runs the defense.
Matt Nagy has never even sniffed the top 10 in offensive production. The Bears were 9th in points scored in 2018, but just 21st in yards, and also had one of the best defenses in Chicago Bears history.
How bad are things when you’re able to compare the current head coach to Marc Trestman, and Trestman actually looks better for it?
Lovie Smith — a defensive coach — had four top-5 defenses when he was the head coach. He was ultimately fired for his inability to produce a decent offense. Take out his first year, and his offenses never ranked worse than Nagy’s have in terms of points scored in the last two years.
Cordarrelle Patterson has had a great career and is a likable guy. Matt Nagy is such a bad play caller that when he trots him out on the field the entire city of Chicago groans and curses under their breath.
My father always told me: If you come home from school and tell us your teacher is an ass hole, your coach is an ass hole, and your brother is an ass hole, guess what — you’re the ass hole.
Nagy oversaw the firing of Harry Hiestand, one of the most respected offensive line coaches in football, due to the Bears piss poor offensive line play last year. Same with Mark Helfrich, the offensive coordinator. He got rid of Josh Childress, a senior offensive assistant, who at least had a top-5 offense in one year in Minnesota as the head coach.
There’s not many more people to point the finger at. Is it Juan Castillo now? Is it Bill Lazor? Is it Mitch Trubisky? Maybe some blame belongs to Ryan Pace, but it turns out that his biggest sin as a general manager may have been putting Nagy in the spot he’s in in the first place.
Bigger than passing on Mahomes and Watson. You want to know why? The Bears have had a top defense for all of Nagy’s time here. Even an average offense makes them Super Bowl contenders. And they haven’t come close to that.
Maybe the worst thing of all is that he gave up repeatedly in this game. He gave up before half and he gave up in the 4th quarter, when the Bears took three minutes off the clock down three touchdowns just to eventually turn the ball over on downs.
After each pitiful offensive performance, I’ve been foolish enough to think that something may change. Every single week it’s the same exact thing.
And Nagy only hurts himself in these postgame press conferences. It turns out saying “process” a million times and saying “we’ve got to look at that” sounds a lot dumber when you’re losing and your offense has been anemic for two years straight.
He rambles on and on about things the Bears need to do better, but he speaks in this strange way — as if he doesn’t have any control over the results. The buck stops with you, buddy. That’s why they fired every guy that touched the offense last year besides you, despite the fact that you refuse to relinquish any power.
What is he talking about? This is like drinking yourself to a stupor every weekend, breaking your nose after a drunken fall, and then saying it’s a tough situation and that you’re not sure how you can mitigate the problem.
Some of you have become enamored at my obsession with this over the last few weeks, but the issue truly came to a hilarious inflection point tonight. I don’t think this is an exaggeration, Ted Ginn Jr. is the worst “punt returner” in the history of the NFL. I add the quotations because he actually doesn’t return punts at all. The idea that the Bears coaches could be watching the same games as I am and just shrug their shoulders at Ginn Jr. repeatedly forcing the Bears already-awful offense to start within their own 10 every drive is astounding.
Do you think Bill Belichick would be cool with Ted Ginn Jr. being trotted out there every single 4th down for his team because he’s not the special teams coach? I apologize for that, actually, because I didn’t need to use Belichick as an example. Do you think, like — okay, here we go — Marc Trestman would allow that to happen?
I actually doubt it. Ginn Jr. and Patterson are the perfect symbols of the Bears ineptitude, though. How can virtually every fan with a 9-5 job sit on their couches and tell you that the positions they’re being put in are disastrous, and the coaches paid millions of dollars to put them in the right ones are stumped?
It’s so embarrassing, and I feel awful for the Bears defense. The Bears defense was actually trying — hard, I might add — at the end of that game. Shout out to them. They weren’t as sharp today but any group of guys that still brings it down three touchdowns when their offense is incapable of making it past midfield gets a pat on the back from me.
The defense allowed over five yards per carry, which is not good, but I still stop short of blaming them when they are on the field at all times, forcing stops just so Ted Ginn Jr. can nail the offense within its own five and then give the ball to Pat O’Donnell three plays later.
I also feel bad for the good offensive players, particularly guys like Allen Robinson and Darnell Mooney. We know why for Allen Robinson, but Mooney was running incredible routes and getting wide open for absolutely no reason today, which has to be disheartening.
I want to personally apologize for the entire thesis of my last newsletter, which essentially suggested that no one should complain about the Bears all that much when they were 5-1. I missed the forest for the trees and therefore deserve cauliflower pizzas over greasy, pizzeria-made pies for the foreseeable future.
God damn your boy is hungry. The crust on those cauliflower pizzas doesn’t even get crispy. I was still starving after I shoved that last piece down my throat approximately four minutes after taking it out of the oven.
Also, Bears fans are hysterical sometimes, man. The idea that you could watch that game, see Foles get pressured within .4 seconds of each snap, be forced to run plays that he knows won’t work, and then think he is the impetus to all of our problems is so delusional I actually kind of respect it.
Having said that, if you feel like Mitch Trubisky was unfairly maligned at times because of Nagy, that’s fair. But the guy also can’t throw a spiral, and that’s one thing I refuse to blame Nagy for.
You can blame Nagy for not putting guys in a position to succeed, however. He claimed he was ecstatic about the Bears again trading draft capital last year to get David Montgomery, yet refuses to play him in short yardage situations.
The Bears pay Jimmy Graham handsomely and draft a tight end in the second round only to throw the ball to Demetrius Harris, who had a crucial drop in today’s game and also averages 2.5 yards per target.
And again, a strange Nagy response, acting as if he’s powerless when he refuses to relinquish any power at all:
And how about this gem:
Again, this is a good thing for, like, Khalil Mack to do: Say ‘We need to start playing better’ when he knows it’s not his fault. But when you call the offensive plays, being this general is just strange and wreaks of blame deflection.
At least the offensive guru got us our first 40-yard pass play of the season. We were the last team in the league to not have one of those, and I appreciate ESPN for highlighting that over and over.
There’s nothing better than Nagy reading his play sheet vigorously after each failed play, acting as if there’s some sort of answer on there. Hey, maybe if someone else put that sheet together for him, there would be.
Eddie Jackson says his knee is fine — thank God. And props to him for finally getting another touchdown, one that he’s deserved for several weeks now.
Nagy also said that he believes Cody Whitehair avoided a serious injury to his calf, which is good news, considering he may be the only competent offensive lineman we have.
Everything else is bad news. The Bears play two of the better teams in football the next two weeks in the Saints and the Titans. If something major doesn’t change, this team could be .500 in a heartbeat.
The worst part about that is, I have no confidence that anything will.
Comment your thoughts below:
I mean I don't even know where to begin. I've been a Nagy supporter for a long time but that is done. What an arrogant, stupid piece of shit he is. I really don't even know where to start my weekly rant. I don't think it would be crazy for everyone to hope the Bears lose their next 9 games and have to blow this whole operation up. I'm not kidding shoot me in the fucking head instead during the regular season instead of watching the Bears lose by 31 in a divisional game, just for Nagy and Ryan Pace to still be employed next year. Outside of Allen Robinson, and I guess Darnell Mooney now, has Ryan Pace done one thing to improve this offense his entire time here?
Let's see: Quarterback - hahahahahahahah we all know where I stand there. In case you don't, Mitch Trubisky is a dumb piece of shit waste of talent biggest bust in Bears history. And Nick Foles, who I still don't hate, but definitely is in the 25-32 range when it comes to starting quarterbacks in the NFL. I'd take 80% of backups over Mitch, that dumbass. Running back - drafted Jeremy Langford (not in the NFL anymore), Tarik Cohen (serviceable gadget player, fuck him though), and David Montgomery. Boy oh boy, David Montgomery, the slow piece of shit. I'm not sure how many picks we gave up to draft this "bruiser" who doesn't even get fourth and short carries. And I've never once seen him make someone miss in the open field, no exaggeration. He sucks, and dances around the line of scrimmage like he's Leveon Bell in Pittsburgh. You need an o-line to do that, and you need the ability to make someone miss. Speaking of the o-line, they all suck. Charles Leno and Bobby Massie - massive contracts. Reciever - drafted Kevin White. Anthony Miller only knows how to dance by shaking his knees the same way I do when I'm drunk at LG's and my friends and bouncers are begging me to go home. Riley Ridley is a healthy scratch every week. Javon Wims - who I actually like - was the key blocker on the 4th and short. What the fuck is that Matt Nagy? So there's the offense Pace put together.
Defensively, I love Danny Trevathan, but can he stop playing? He looks slower than most team's centers. Akeim Hicks, please stop laughing when you've given up 60 yards in penalties and we're down by 21.
God bless us all. Can't wait to see what moron quarterback Pace mortgages our future for in April.
What is everyone so surprised about?!?! I have been telling you for three years that Nagy was the problem. In year 1 he would make stupid decisions and get bailed out by the defense and just say he was being aggressive. No you weren't. You were being stupid. A couple of points here:
1) Cauliflower Pizza?!?!? Who raised you? That was, unbelievably, a bigger problem than the Bears performance.
2) I am not saying Trubisky is an effective NFL QB but we will never know because he has spent three years under an incompetent ego maniac. We have no idea what he could have been.
3) A perfect example of how incompetent he is reveals itself in the punt return game. He has obviously told the punt returners not to even try to catch the punt, which is actually their most important job. So, since we are not returning the punts we are trying to block them, right? No! We are blocking like we are setting up a return?!?! Do they even know the returner is not going to return the punt?
4) Timeouts - I am not even sure it is possible to have as bad results as he has AFTER he calls a timeout. It is almost guaranteed.
5) How come every other team in the NFL rushes to the line after a questionable call that the opponent might challenge but we sit there looking over for the next play call from Nagy?
6) Dan Orlovsky tweeted during the game that as obvious as it was that Sean McVay was so much better than Nagy the actual difference was ten times what you thought.
7) Tight Ends - two of them have made great plays this year and one of them consistently fucks up, yet the one fucking up continues to play over the other two?!?!?
I can go on forever. If the Bears Organization had any brains and balls, they would fire him today. That won't happen so they should at least tell him he has to let someone else call the offense. They will do neither.