Happy Friday, Still Gotta Come Through Chicagoans!
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— Bears preseason semi-observations
— Sox whirlwind week
— The red-hot Cubbies
If you’re a well-put-together organization, I can forgive your product just about every time.
Take Hills Bank in Iowa City, for example. Great bank full of great people. I had the Iowa City Capitol building on my debit card until I turned 23. You know why? Great customer service. Everyone there acted like you meant the world to them. I don’t know what makes a great bank, but if I overdrew my account by $36 dollars at the bar and then walked in there on a Monday with my tail between my legs, they’d pat me on my ass, un-do the overcharge and send me on my way.
If I’m at a restaurant and the refills on my Diet Coke come steady and the waitress or waiter comes just enough to fulfill my gluttonous ass, but not so much that they are awkwardly smiling over my shoulder every time I’m six words into a sentence, the food could really be a C- and I’m likely coming back.
So watching the Bears look generally competent these first two preseason games, while also being not very talented, is a breath of fresh air. We are easy to please, us Bears fans. It’s sad yet true.
Every other day in training camp you hear a player say something like, “Yeah, they actually have water at practice this year” or “yeah, we’re doing drills again,” and it further emphasizes how much of a shitshow the operation has been at Halas Hall for the past few years.
“Yeah, the coaches hold you accountable.” Holy shit, what a novel concept.
Watching the Bears shit-pump Seattle last night was probably more of a sign of 1) it being preseason and 2) the Seahawks being downright awful this year, but at the same time, the players seemed to know where they were going.
I have a strong feeling there won’t be players punching opponents in the head this year and being on the active roster the following week. Let’s just say that.
It’s also worth an editorial note here that I could be on Cloud 9 after that game for a few reasons: the weather has been so unreal in Chicago, and I’m typing this on my balcony right now listening to music in my headphones. When it’s 7 degrees out AND the Bears are bad — but well coached — I will likely be digging for less silver linings.
We are undefeated, god dammit!
It also could be that the New York Times — the paper of record, all the news that is fit to print, I’m sure all of you are huge fans — just published an article on a potentially breakthrough hair-loss drug that doesn’t have some side effect that will keep you from getting boners or make you violent toward your loved ones. There’s been close to 3,000 of these breakthroughs per year it seems, but this one — this one — seems like the real thing. Those dermatologists are working their asses off knowing I’m about 8 months from shaving it all off. They’re in the lab day and night with a doomsday clock that says “Until The Big-Headed Kid In Chicago Shaves It All Off.” As it ticks down, there are higher-ups pointing up to the clock, reminding their underlings “what exactly it is we are fighting for here” with a picture of me the last time I shaved my head in 8th grade hung up on the wall.
And finally, football is just so close. It’s hard to be in a bad mood when football is around the corner. Man, I just love it so much it could make me cry. It’s not exactly an anomaly for a 26-year-old male in America to feel this way, but I want to wear it on my sleeves like a badge of honor anyway.
Every time someone tries to tell you this country or that country is better, all you’ve got to do is wait for them to finish, say “football” and then pound your chest, spit on them and walk out to get another McDouble.
You think I would really love Paris so much that I could do without football all Sunday with wings and pizza residue splattered on my shirt? Think again, brother.
Once Parisians start painting their faces and taking their shirts off at outdoor sporting events in sub-zero weather, then I’ll reconsider. Until then, it’s a dealbreaker.
Justin Fields threw the most passes — five! — that he ever had previously in an NFL opening drive last night. The offensive line looked like absolute dogshit, but if he doesn’t get killed, I still have all of the faith in the world in Fields.
He won’t have a ton of talent at his disposal, which hurts any quarterback. He won’t have a good offensive line, which is the death of most quarterbacks. (Let’s hold on to the ‘He holds onto the ball too long!’ critiques until he regularly has more than a split-second to throw, please).
But all I need to see is one good play when he does have time to keep me fully on board after each and every week.
If everyone could see me every third Friday, an hour post-haircut and fresh off a workout, a lot more people would find me attractive. If I could line up the world down Clark street at that moment, boy, I may win the World’s Sexiest Man contest. But alas, the rest of the 728 hours per month I’m an average to low-average looking human being, due to a lot of factors. But I choose to look at myself as the man I am in those two hours per month. I’m asking for you to do the same with Fields. Mahomes and Brady get to look that way all the time because of their situations, and a couple of other reasons, but you get the point.
Yes, it is his second year — technically. But we cannot judge a quarterback who had one of the most dysfunctional situations possible in Year 1, and now a talentless roster in Year 2, as if they’re any other quarterback in their sophomore NFL Season. I will choose to take out the good parts, extract them, and think about what that version of Justin Fields could do in an offense like the Chiefs’ or the Bucs’.
The post-haircut, post-workout Fields looks damn good to me. And though this year will paint more of the picture on his career trajectory, it won’t paint the whole thing. I — and you all — have to be okay with that.
I’m bracing myself already and prepared to not look at things in a vacuum.
But nevertheless, it already seems like he will have a non-narcissistic play caller who actually cares about his success. That’s Step 1. The next step is getting him some semblance of time in the pocket. That could come this year (unlikely) or next (probable). The final step will be getting him enough weapons so we don’t have to act like Darnell Mooney is the second coming of Randy Moss.
The Bears are slowly getting more healthy, and Teven Jenkins at right guard seems like a much more feasible long-term plan then, uh, putting him at the second most important position in football in his rookie year, post-back surgery.
I am actually bullish on the crop of young linemen we have. If the last two drafts can yield two long-term linemen, that would be incredible.
As mentioned above, we’re now talking about Jenkins on the field, and not what he’s doing off it at practice. The Roquan Smith situation, as ESPN reminded us, is still fluid.
I’m not really sure how hold-ins work. I mean, at what point do you say, ‘Come in here, we’re negotiating for 72 hours straight if we have to, and by the end of it, we’re trading you, fining you, or signing you.’
Seeing him on the sideline every day, especially as hold-ins end across the NFL, is beginning to be a distraction. It just has to be. Besides Cairo Santos, he’s our best player. I’d like to have him on the field Week 1.
We’re three weeks away from actual games and actual analysis. Just about the only qualms I have with the coaching staff so far is not challenging that clearly competed catch on third down in the first quarter and Matt Eberflus just generally not looking like a head coach based on physical appearance (don’t ask me to explain).
I think the Bears’ ceiling is 7 wins, and yet I’m still excited. And that, my friends, is why I could not live in Paris.
The White Sox gave poor Chuck Garfien the biggest blue balls of his life this past week. Two playoff-atmosphere wins, a loss that could have easily been a win, and then a 21-5 blowout that ultimately resulted in a split with the Astros.
What goes up, must come down. And boy did #WhiteSoxNation learn that all too quickly this week.
It’s baseball, blowouts happen.
At the same time, if you won the previous night, things would have been a little easier to swallow on Thursday. If Yasmani Grandal — one of the worst hitters in baseball — wasn’t being trotted out there with Josh Harrison in crucial at-bats against the American League’s best team, a 21-5 game would have been borderline funny.
In fact, based on OPS alone, if he were qualified, Grandal would be the fourth worst hitter in all of baseball. He’s been worth a -1.2 WAR this year according to Baseball Reference, and yet, he’s DHing against the Astros even when he’s not catching. He has zero power left, whether it’s injuries or age, and it’s made him the easiest player to pitch to on the Sox.
So, alas, it’s not funny to lose 21-5 when you regained the best odds to win the division one night, and then lost that all-important title the next. The Sox are now about tied with the Twins — at +195 — to win the division.
It’s also not funny when Lucas Giolito — formerly the WORST PITCHER IN BASEBALL — seems to be the worst pitcher in baseball yet again. La Russa said after the game that “You take the ball 30 some times and you are going to have a day where it just doesn’t work. That was today." Unfortunately he must be unaware that Giolito has a 5.34 ERA this year, and his outing Thursday was closer to the norm these days than an anomaly.
A friend pitched the idea that we take off work and go to the game Thursday. If I had done that, I don’t think he would be a friend anymore.
The Sox still have the 5th easiest schedule the rest of the way. They play the Tigers six times, the A’s four times, the Rockies twice, the Diamondbacks three times, and the Royals four times.
But then you realize that the Royals just took three of four from the Sox.
If we’re doing silver linings — I’m still on the balcony, it’s still 75 degrees, and I’m still buying this NYT article — the Sox are also in the Wild Card race now for the first time in a long time. Due to others’ struggles, and not their success, they are now squarely in that race, in addition to the division one. They’re 2.5 out of the division and 3 games out of a Wild Card spot.
For a lot of reasons, the path of least resistance is still the division.
But, fear not, Elvis Andrus is on the way to town.
Rick Sutcliffe was calling the Cubs game yesterday again, a 3-2 win against the Orioles. I never loved Sutcliffe on the ESPN broadcasts, but for some reason, I thoroughly enjoy him on the Marquee broadcasts.
Ah, that some reason must be that he actually seems to give a fuck if the Cubs win or lose, or if Zach McKinstry makes a throwing error that he did not need to make. And, for obvious reasons, Boog Sciambi — who I just know is a good long-term option in the booth — is much better with him!
I’ve been on the JD bandwagon in the past, but when the team is not in the race for a playoff spot, a monotone, semi-interesting comment on the pitcher’s release doesn’t really do it for me.
I mean, when the Cubs doubled up the O’s to win the game, Sutcliffe almost broke the audio he screamed so loud. It’s just so awesome to have that enthusiasm in the booth.
The thing the Sox have going for them every night is no matter the outcome of the game, the broadcast is essentially baseball erotica. The perfect amount of stupid humor, incredible baseball analysis, and emotion. And that’s even the case with fill-ins (okay, maybe not Gordon Beckham, who speaks english less fluently than Ozzie Guillen).
It took me back to a time where I really cared about the Cubs game outcomes. It’s crazy how long ago that feels, when it’s realistically only been a year and a half. I still do care, though, which is just imbedded in me. But not as much. So when Sutcliffe is on the broadcast, he brings that desire out of me.
And it is cool to watch the Cubs win, because behind two Willson Contreras homers yesterday, they are now 15-10 since the All-Star break.
(Also, a mea culpa, as I realized after my trade deadline breakdown last week that I omitted the David Robertson trade for Ben Brown, another huge righty pitcher — 6’6, 210 — who has showed awesome flashes in the minors this season.)
The rookies are hitting home runs, the starting pitching is lights out, and despite all the trades, the bullpen can still hold down the fort from time to time.
Franmil Reyes has also been a nice pickup for the Cubs. He’s hitting just about .400 thus far with the Cubs after having the worst year of his career up until this second chance.
Just like the Bears, the Cubs may not be good and are not supposed to be good, but some semblance of competence can go a long way into sucking me back in.
I would say I can’t wait for next year, but I can, because we’ve got a whole, glorious football season ahead of us and a BIG TIME Bulls season. The NBA schedule is out now.
STILL GOTTA COME THROUGH CHICAGO!
Have a great weekend — and as always, thank you for reading. Comment below:
So excited for football! Watched three quarters before my old ass had to go to bed. I was at the game last week and was not excited although I was admittedly overserved. Might not have been at my best as a viewer.
Last night I was on my game and I was VERY impressed with the blocking schemes on running plays, no stupid errors and great aggressive pursuit on defense. At halftime I realized that watching Seattle was like watching the Bears last year. Everything they did we would do under Nagy.
Even blind squirrels find a nut now and then. Maybe the Bears lucked into a good coach but I know the McCaskeys will fuck this up. For instance, Roquan Smith, maybe the best three down linebacker in the league, but they know better.
I have said in this newsletter for four years that Nagy was the worst coach in football. If you watched that game last night, you know I am right.
Love David Ross. He is coming at you with no bullets and always competitive.