GOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING CHICAGO!
My sincerest apologies for my time away the last few weeks, I had something they’re calling the coronavirus and was getting ragdolled like a toddler with an ear infection for the past 17 days or so.
Through sheer will, however, plus tylenol, advil, and hundreds of dollars spent gambling on college basketball, I made it to the other side.
Should I get my “I SURVIVED COVID MARCH 2020” tattoo on my ribcage or chest? I have not decided and need some guidance.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, they say. That may be true with some things. But I doubt that clutching my sweaty pillow on the brink of sobbing on my 12th straight day with a fever made me any better. And what definitely didn’t make me stronger was this shit, but to be fair, it could have killed me. I’m not entirely sure yet:
Cause of death: Complications from the Bears signing Andy Dalton.
I think I physically grabbed my heart when I saw this news, which we will get to.
But it’s been so long since I wrote to you, my beautiful, loyal subscribers, that I mustn’t start with the bad. Nay, we will start with the best news in Chicago: that the Chicago Bulls are all the way back and some of you beautiful, loyal subscribers are already on the bandwagon with a first class ticket.
I’ve told you repeatedly that your return to fandom would be rewarded. And it will be monetarily when the Bulls win 11 more games and hit the season OVER for their win total. But a bonus is now that the Bulls turned their roster into a solidified playoff one in just a few hours yesterday before the trade deadline passed.
They’ll now have two All-Stars on the same team for the first time since a combination of Joakim Noah, Luol Deng, Jimmy Butler and Derrick Rose played together.
Every day is a good day to wake up and watch the Bulls hype video I made for 2021, but today is an especially good one:
God dammit, I told you Arturas Karnisovas (AKA AK-4-7, as in Arturas Karnisovas FOR seven rings) was here to win. And you wavered, because he didn’t make any major moves to start.
Then this man let his jockstrap loose, allowed his massive executive balls hit the floor, and starting to dial up numbers across the league.
It was the kind of day that provided so much natural energy that I actually regretted drinking coffee before the moves were announced. I was bouncing off the goddamn walls, listening to Sirius in my headphones, texting virtually every Bulls fan I know.
My brother — who is not one for phone calls — and I talked on the phone five separate times. Void of context, you would have thought we were discussing something of far more “importance,” like a job promotion, a wedding proposal, or a baby being born in the family.
Uh, no, bro. Just the additions of Nikola Vucevic and Daniel Theis, among others. We’ll get to exactly what that means later.
What it generally means though, is that the Bulls are trying to do something they haven’t tried to do in a long time: win.
And as the Chicago weather warms, the pandemic subsides, and the beers require coolers, the Bulls will be in the thick of a playoff race for us to enjoy.
Cheers to that, which could actually make me cry. When you spend this much time dedicated to a team, this is the reward you hope for. At least the first reward. It’s great to be here, and for the first time in a long time, it’s great to be a Bulls fan.
Things are changing around here, folks. If it took years of anguish and then two weeks-plus of me coughing up blood from a virus (always #SEEINGRED) that most people my age can barely feel to get there, so be it. I’d do it all again if it meant another step for this team.
The Bulls — for real, ladies and gentlemen — are back.
Let’s fucking go.
(Don’t forget to leave a comment at the bottom… Happy Friday)
Almost forgot some more good news: fans will be in the stands for Cubs and Sox games this year. It’ll start at around 25% capacity and increase throughout the season from there.
There are great noises associated with all sports.
Golf, generally. College football bands. Basketball sneakers and a ‘swish’. The shattering of the remote against the wooden closet after Notre Dame let up a kickoff return for a touchdown and my father’s hushed voice telling me to help pick up the pieces before my mom sees as she’s walking up the steps to the backdoor. The crack of the baseball bat.
But sitting on my couch, the slide door opened, with baseball on the television, has been pure bliss.
Next up: the chatter of thousands of people on a warm Chicago summer day, a beer in our hands, and a ball game in front of us.
Now let’s get into the good, and also the bad. But before you do — go ahead and support the newsletter by telling someone else to subscribe. It’s free! Help a brotha out:
‘We Are Serious Here About Winning’
When Arturas Karnisovas was hired to be the Bulls’ executive vice president of basketball operations last year, he said all the right things. He said the Bulls’ primary focus, from that point on, would be winning.
He fired Jim Boylen, and hired Billy Donovan — that has turned out wonderfully. His only signing was Garrett Temple, who has been invaluable to the Bulls this season.
He drafted Patrick Williams, an unheralded prospect out of Florida State, at no. 4 overall. Since then, the 19-year-old has started every single game and guarded the likes of LeBron James, Giannis, and Kawhi Leonard and continues to blossom as an offensive creator. He’s averaging 10 points on 38% shooting from three, and makes a pass every game that proves his steady improvement.
Then came yesterday, a day that began with a lot of confusion as to whether the Bulls would buy, sell, or stand pat. It was finally time for AK-47 to deliver on the promise he made when he was first hired, and boy did he deliver.
His first order of business was to trade Wendell Carter Jr., Otto Porter Jr., and two first-round picks for Nikola Vucevic and Al-Farouq Aminu.
More importantly, he traded for one of the 25 best players in the NBA. Vucevic has been tucked away in Orlando, so if you aren’t familiar with his game, I don’t blame you. But just like Patrick Williams, always remember that not knowing someone is on you, not the player.
Vucevic has been one of the most consistent players in all of basketball over the past five years. At 6’11, 250 pounds, he’s averaging nearly 25 points and 12 rebounds on 48% shooting. The big man shoots 6.5 threes per game, and hits them at an over-40% clip — an outstanding number.
Over the last three years, he’s made two All-Star Games, and has averaged 21 points, 12 rebounds, and 4 assists on 50% shooting. He’s having his best year in 2020-2021, no doubt, but the guy has been doing this for a long time.
He’s 30 years old, but shows no signs of slowing down. He’s hardly missed any games over that three-year period. He also has a contract that will keep him with the Bulls for this year and two more, with the average annual salary actually decreasing over those years. Even if his production does slow by 2023, he will have a salary to match it.
Overall, based on his production, his contract can be viewed as team-friendly, especially if the salary cap once again increases over the next couple years after the pandemic ends and the NBA gets more television money in its pockets.
Vucevic, despite never playing with a good point guard, has been a dominant player for the Magic, inside and out.
Likewise, Zach LaVine has never played with even close to as good of a player as Vuc. The two of them running the pick and roll will be unstoppable.
Zach’s a good pick and roll player, but his progress there has been stymied by the fact that his roll man has never been a real threat. Until Thad Young began running it with him more effectively, LaVine had no second option on the pick and roll, besides that being the entire point of the play: to have two options.
With Vuc setting screens, teams will no long be able to “blitz” LaVine with two men. They will have to honor Vuc, who is as good of a three-point shooter as LaVine. He’s also a far better finisher at the rim than any big man Zach has played with.
If the defenders decide to blitz, then, the Bulls will have the option of “popping” Vuc and getting him a wide open look from three, or rolling him to the basket to an open lane, where Vuc is more than capable of making the right pass for another Bull or finishing it himself.
Without blitzing, the defenders still won’t be able to handle as lethal of a two-man game as those two can provide. Switching won’t work, because Zach will be too quick for Vuc’s man and Vuc will be too powerful for Zach’s man.
Put simply, the Bulls just acquired a player they’ve basically never had before.
Sure, he’s got a great outside game. But he’s also hauling in four more rebounds per game than any other player on the Bulls roster has this year.
His post game will also open up options for the Bulls when they desperately need a bucket at the end of games. The days are over when LaVine is forced to chuck up shots on his own to salvage a close game in the fourth quarter.
If you’re worried the Bulls gave up too much for a 30-year-old, I understand. But Wendell Carter Jr. has gotten ample opportunity to show what he can do and has disappointed. WCJ has poor hands, he can’t catch the ball. He’s a hesitant — and bad — offensive player. While he undoubtedly has talent, specifically on the defensive end, he’s played small during his three years with the team. The experiment was over, cut short by the fact that the Bulls had an opportunity to get far better.
You can’t hold on to everyone and expect to get better. I liked WCJ and defended him but to get a player of Vuc’s caliber, his departure is more than worth it — especially considering his injury history.
As for Otto Porter Jr., his deal was expiring. He was simply a throw-in to make the money work, and the Bulls won’t exactly be dying over him being gone.
As for the two first-round picks, for one, they are top-4 protected. The first one is this year, but if the Bulls somehow luck out in the lottery (hopefully they’re not in the lottery) and move up to a top-4 pick, they’ll keep their own pick. Otherwise, the Bulls will likely pick in the mid-teens or early 20s. Missing out on a pick like that is just not a huge deal, all things considered.
A draft pick has never won a championship or made a deep playoff run. Two top-25 players together have.
As for the 2023 pick, it is also top-4 protected. Based on the Bulls trajectory, they’re likely to be pretty darn good by then, meaning that their pick will come later on in the draft and thus be less valuable. Giving up to late picks and WCJ for an All-Star is well worth it, in my opinion.
Plus, the free agency class this year — at least in terms of realistic options for the Bulls — is not a good one. Acquiring Vuc takes the star-hunting aspect out of it.
The Bulls can focus on building around their talent now in free agency as opposed to solely acquiring it.
They also kept their 2022 pick, which will give them the opportunity to upgrade through the draft for one more year as they build themselves toward being a contender.
The roster just went from being a middling and competitive group to a playoff-ready, talented one.
The Bulls experienced three of their worst losses of the season over the last week and a half. They blew a massive lead to the playoff-bound Spurs, then did the same in Denver. Both games showed, again, that the Bulls are far more capable than their record shows, but also that they have so much room to grow.
Their tendency to lose games in the end has everything to do with having just one go-to scorer on the roster. Vuc fixes that, and LaVine will have to adapt to being on a good team now.
Regardless, the Bulls had a tough week, and just as everyone thought they were going to pack it in and sell along the lines of the bullshit NBA conventional wisdom these days, AK decided to take the opportunity to get better.
They have probably the hardest schedule in the NBA over the next 10 games. But this is not the Bulls of old. They will enter each contest with a great chance to win.
Their record is 19-24 (still well on their way to 30+ wins), but it should be far better. But the good news is that time is on their side. They are just 2.5 games out of the 6th seed in the Eastern Conference, and just three out of the 4th seed, which would represent home court advantage in the first round of the playoffs.
As for the teams they’re competing with, the Knicks, Hornets, Hawks, Celtics, Pacers and Raptors mostly stood pat. If they didn’t, they made net-neutral moves. The Heat made some moves that only the Heat could with no cap space, and got far better. They are still likely better than the Bulls. The rest of those teams? They’re well within reach.
And the journey to the 6th seed — or better — starts Saturday in San Antonio.
The Bulls weren’t done after making the biggest move in the NBA at the trade deadline, either.
After that, they shipped away Chandler Hutchinson and Daniel Gafford in a three-team deal. In return, they received Daniel Theis (Celtics), Javonte Green (Celtics), and Troy Brown Jr. (Wizards).
Brown Jr. is a young (21 years old) wing player who has shown great flashes of being a competent three-point shooter, a good defender, and good passer. He wasn’t getting a ton of playing time this year in Washington, which could be for a variety of reasons. But nonetheless, he’s a nice pick up and shores up the wing position.
Javonte Green is likely to be an end-of-bench guy, so we won’t spend too much time on him. Daniel Theis is the best value-play of the day for the Bulls. Theis was the Celtics starting center essentially, and they basically just gave him away because they wanted to get underneath the tax line.
Yes, yesterday, the Celtics were penny-pinching and the Bulls were trying to get better. What a world we’re living in.
Upgrading from WCJ and Gafford at center to Vuc and Theis is a near-miracle. Theis is 6’8, 245 pounds but plays like he’s 7 feet and 280. He’ll be a great addition as a big body who can protect the rim.
The comparison between him and WCJ is stark, who is 6’10, 265 pounds, yet gets thrown around by 6’4 players on a seemingly regular basis. The Bulls needed to add toughness inside, and they did so, for basically nothing.
Al-Farouq Aminu, who came alongside Vuc, is actually a good wing player in his own right. He has been plagued by injuries of late, however, so anything he can offer will be gravy at this point.
Billy Donovan has probably been singing Hallelujah! all day. But then again, when we all scratched our heads when he willingly took the Bulls job this past offseason, he may have known something that not all of us did — that AK was going to drop his balls to the floor when he felt the time was right.
The Bulls just got so much better, and the price wasn’t all that tall.
If you believe it was because of the draft picks, I don’t know what to tell you. All I can say is, don’t be a draft pick guy. Draft picks and assets are great, and they’re an important part of team-building. They are not the end-all-be-all.
I think, and call me crazy, getting better should be priority no. 1. And that’s what the Bulls did today.
This will also set the stage for the Bulls’ path over the next couple of years. Their timeline has been moved up. This team will be making the playoffs the next three years, and players around the league will start looking at Chicago as a destination once again.
Plus, their cap situation was not hurt all that much by this move. The Bulls can still be creative enough to sign some major free agents this offseason, as they should have over $20 million in space after some cuts.
The moves have been made. Now it’s time to win.
For those of you who hopped on early, I’m glad I delivered on my promise.
I got playoffs on my mind.
LETS GO BULLS!
P.S. The Bulls also tried to get Lonzo Ball, but the asking price was too high. I would have loved to have him, and once the Bulls find their point guard, then the rest of the league really will be sweating. If you’re a Lauri guy, he’s still here. As is Coby. I would have shipped Lauri’s ass for whatever we could get but he’ll still be a positive contributor for the time being.
Andy Dalton is ‘QB1’
One time the Mega Lottery reached a couple billion dollars or something, and so my buddies and I ventured off to the local gas station and each bought a ticket.
We then proceeded to talk about what we’d do with the money for so long that by the end, we all really thought that one of us was going to win it. We had manifested a win through banter, and we were ready to split the winnings among those that were there.
The chances of us winning were probably something to the tune of 0.0000000000000001 percent, but instead of thinking of that, we were thinking critically about who we would NOT be giving money to that night.
Some poor bastards had been ousted from receiving millions in hypothetical money that night and didn’t even know it.
The reason I bring this night up is it is strikingly similar to the Russell Wilson situation that took hold of Bears nation over the last few weeks.
Wilson announced that if he were to be traded, the Bears were one of the four teams he’d be willing to go to. After that, there wasn’t much more to report.
Usually, not much more to report puts out the fire. In this case, it let our poor Bears fan minds’ wander, and the hope festered and created a fire that was no longer able to be contained by the time Andy Dalton had been signed as a Bear.
Random bloggers and fans collectively willed the idea of Russ being close to being a Bear into existence. Like always, it ended in heartbreak.
We started fighting about whether or not we should give up someone like Roquan Smith, when we weren’t even getting the guy in the first place.
We were cutting off friends from the lottery money before we had won the jackpot.
But I can’t blame anyone, because I was right there. The timing and the eerie lack of new information had me thinking this was really going to happen, and the Bears entire future would be changed any moment.
Believe it or not, I thought Ryan Pace had one more trick up his sleeve. I’ve always held out around 5% hope that Pace is actually a good football mind, but that he’d just made a few really bad mistakes. I was foolish enough to think he might be geared to rectify all of it with one big swing of the bat.
Instead of the big swing, he bunted the ball foul with two strikes.
Andy Dalton was available last year. The Bears traded for Nick Foles instead and guaranteed him around $20 million.
Dalton made $3 million last year with the Dallas Cowboys as a back up. The Bears just gave him the opportunity to make $10 million more as their starter.
Considering the Bears’ offseason rhetoric — Ted Phillips unwarranted arrogance, George McCaskey’s confidence in Pace and Matt Nagy to improve the team drastically in 2021, and Pace’s assertion that the Bears would take a look at “every option” at quarterback this offseason — this is the worst possible choice the Bears could have made.
That is not an exaggeration.
Worse yet, I’m starting to get an inkling that Ryan Pace and/or Matt Nagy’s jobs are absolutely not on the line in 2021.
A reminder: We have no idea when Pace’s contract is up. When asked about it, he acts like he’s a ‘90s ‘roided baseball player taking questions before Congress. Honestly, the Sammy Sosa “no hablo ingles” would have worked better than whatever he’s done. Ted Phillips has done the same regarding Pace’s contract.
Any mention of when Pace is signed through has been taken down off the Bears website.
The Andy Dalton move makes no sense from any point of view, we can agree on that. Even if the Bears are committing to rebuilding, giving Dalton $10 million for no reason is not the answer, especially when you have a quarterback as competent as him already on your roster.
If you are not rebuilding, and instead attempting to win, it makes even less sense. Even the Bears most delusional football executives can’t think that a Dalton-led Bears team would win more than 8 games best case scenario. There’s just no way anyone is thinking, ‘We got our guy. Division title here we come.’
But what’s as confusing is what has happened outside of Dalton. It’s still up in the air whether or not the Bears will bring back Akiem Hicks, and if they do, it will be puzzling (if they’re rebuilding) why they chose to cut ties with Kyle Fuller over him.
Hicks is more injury-prone at this point of his career and also older. If they are trying to compete at a high level, it also makes zero sense to get rid of one of your best and most consistent defensive players, not to mention two of them.
Fuller being released (and not traded, how about that?) saves the Bears over $10 million on the cap, sure, but if you’re actually trying to win, wouldn’t you do anything you could to keep him?
The NFL cap is not hard to manage. The Saints were $60 million over the cap to start the offseason and will be fine, thanks to creative stretches, the conversion of money to signing bonuses, and other fake contract-type deals.
Why couldn’t the Bears, then, manage to keep Fuller? It makes it worse when you signed Andy Dalton, who’s anywhere from the 25th to 35th best quarterback in the NFL, to an over-$10 million deal the day prior.
The Bears have also made some minor moves, which have added up, on the defensive line. None of the deals are for players that are surefire starters, but the Bears have still locked them up to guaranteed deals. Meanwhile, they locked up Germain Ifedi on the offensive side of the ball, who has been an inconsistent, below-average lineman for them.
The bottom line is, I can’t tell if the Bears are trying to get better or get worse, which seems to be a problem.
If they’re trying to get better, they’re doing a horrible job at it. If they’re trying to rebuild, they’re doing a terrible job at that too — the Bears still have plenty of owed money that’s going to come to fruition over the next couple of years thanks to the restructuring of deals this year and in year’s past.
I guess that’s a longer way of saying that the Bears are caught in the no man’s land of no man’s land. I have no idea what they’re doing, and I’m not positive they know what they’re doing either.
Either way, it doesn’t look good. Former Bear Adrian Amos tweeted out a laughing emoji when the Bears signed Dalton. A handful of Bears publicly expressed their dismay for the Fuller cutting afterward. Cordarrelle Patterson, who seems to be on the way out, tweeted out that the Bears need to stop making the salary cap their scapegoat.
The Bears are reaching 2020-Bulls level. Players are publicly trashing the organization. Fans, media members, and actual NFLers alike are all scratching their heads — and more — at whatever it is the Bears are attempting to do.
I really was holding out that hope that Pace had some magic left in him. That he made some mistakes but knew what he was doing in the end. Boy, that was foolish. We know how bad Nagy has been, but Pace might be the ultimate problem (if you’re excluding his bosses, of course).
I truly don’t get what this team is doing, and am starting to think the best possible way forward is for the Bears to inadvertently have a dreadful season. Like a two, three win season with lots of blow outs.
Now, who knows if that will change anything. After all, George McCaskey had the audacity to say that the Bears six-game losing streak last year was actually a testament to the team and front office’s character.
But in the end, a catastrophe to get Pace and Nagy out of here may be the only hope. Signing Andy Dalton at this point of a career with a straight face — in order to win! — may be, and this is not an exaggeration, the worst signing I can remember over the last 25 years in the NFL.
Not a single thing about it makes sense. I feel bad that Dalton himself will have to be the sacrificial lamb, but hopefully he’s the glacier — that we all saw — that will take this whole ship down.
The last thing I will say is this: If the Bears keeping hyping up the Dalton signing and posting his workout photos and calling him QB1 on social media, I am going to personally drive to Lake Forest and ask to speak to the social media manager. At the very least, can we get a trigger warning?
Eloy, Eloy, Eloy No, Eloy No!
Because it’s been so long since we last spoke, I’m looking at some notes on my pad from a couple weeks ago. Want to know what one of them is, verbatim, for the White Sox?
-Eloy running into Luis Robert again, needs to stop that shit or something seriously bad is going to happen.
Welp. Robert is okay, thank God. Eloy Jimenez, however, is not. He tried to rob a home run in Spring Training the other day that was conservatively five feet out of his reach, and tore his pec. He will be out for five to six months.
This is worst-case scenario for the White Sox. For one, for anyone has been watching Eloy play left field over the years, it was a fear that we all had. Between running into walls, netting, and other players, crises were becoming hard to avoid.
Finally, in the least climactic way possible, in a meaningless game, the problem came to a head in the worst way possible.
That timeline puts out Eloy for basically all of the regular season, and also sidelines one of the premier bats in the American league. Additionally, it complicates the Sox lineup situation.
Whoever goes in left will obviously be a downgrade offensively from Eloy, even if it’s Andrew Vaughn or Zack Collins. With those two, who aren’t ready to play the position, the fielding won’t get better either.
The other options are, say, speedster Billy Hamilton, who can’t hit worth a lick. He’d be an upgrade fielding-wise, but would represent a massive decrease in productivity hitting from that position.
Tony La Russa and Rick Hahn both said that Vaughn will get more and more reps out there in the coming days. That gives the kid a week to figure out left field before opening day.
The Sox will be fine short-term, but it’s still a massive blow in what looks to be a tight division race awaiting.
Long term, the situation isn’t as easy as “DH ELOY!” The Sox have a slew of talented hitters that are positionless, or better off being positionless, on the roster. There is only one DH spot, and Eloy needs to play everyday.
If you DH Eloy, you’re putting another bad fielder out there, and you’re keeping another good batter out of the lineup.
The Sox aren’t equipped to deal with a loss of a bat that’s in a first base, DH, or outfield spot. Vaughn was their best option at DH, and he has hardly played professional baseball. Now, if he’s forced to play left, that leaves another hole.
Hahn said the Sox would talk to Eloy about his outfield play, but it feels like a more serious talk should’ve came a lot earlier. When the fans can all see it coming, the organization should already be doing everything they can to mitigate the issue. Whether they tried to or not, it didn’t work.
The whole situation just sucks. The Sox were — and are — primed for their best season in over a decade. To see something this brain-numbingly dumb put a wrench in their plans just a week before the season gets started is disheartening, to say the least.
Well, I had a whole write-up on the Blackhawks here that needed to get deleted to fit the entire newsletter. We’ll be back next week for some Blackhawk talk, and a lot more from what we’ve missed recently.
Regardless, make sure to comment — on Dalton, on the Bulls trades, on Eloy, etc. Let’s have a Friday… and thank you, as always, for reading:
I picture big AK wheeling a dealing like Brad pitt in money ball. 3 different GMs on the line at once, just absolutely bending teams over. Im like Jonah Hill in the corner fist bumping after he landed big Vuc
It is a great day to be a Bulls fan. I absolutely love how AK went scorched earth on almost all of the players from the GarPax regime. I must admit that I have been way too high on WCJ for too long. The guy has absolutely no touch around the rim. I understand hes young, but soft touch isn't necessarily something you just pick up over the years.
I expected some small moves yesterday, but never would have guessed that we acquired an all star at the deadline. I can't remember the last time I was this excited about a Chicago sports team making a trade. Jay Cutler or Brandon Marshall maybe? Nomar to the Cubs?
I don't want to talk about the Bears because today is a good day. It's Friday, we have a weekend full of March Madness ahead of us, and the Bulls are BACK! Hope the rest of the league didn't forget that you still gotta come through Chicago. lets goooooo