Still Gotta Come Through Chicago

You Go to Sleep and You Wake Up

Happy Friday Chicago!

Summertime arrived in Chicago and brought offensive heat with it. But the heat is not as offensive as the invites I got to pools across the city last Saturday.

I didn’t understand the purpose of aimless walks when I was a child, and now I do. I didn’t understand why anyone would drink coffee, now I drink plenty. There are many examples of these sort of understandings that I came to as adolescence faded.

One I didn’t understand when I was younger, however, and one I understand less now, is the allure of pools. It’s 95 degrees in Chicago, and therefore I am being told that the pools are where the fun is at. I’m being asked by others in my building if I’ve been to the pool yet, by friends if I’d like to stop by theirs.

Unequivocally, no.

My brother recently said that pools were created as an antidote to hot days when air conditioning did not exist or at least was not ubiquitous. That made sense to me. He took the form of Aristotle as he said it.

What doesn’t make sense to me is sitting on lava-like concrete by a hole of water, filled with people splashing, pissing, and making out in it.

If I didn’t have gross, pasty, pale skin, this may be different — may be. But I also enjoy the lake, and Chicago has 28 miles of coastline. I enjoy a river, Chicago has one of those. I’ll sit by bodies of water not spawned by a hose.

Sitting by a Chicago pool in near 100-degree heat, by choice? I’d rather walk around Navy Pier with a Gold Coast dog and ride the Ferris Wheel. I’m at the Ferris Wheel, come find me.

As I overlooked the pool of my apartment building Saturday, I did so in spurts, to avoid being confused with a Peeping Tom. I was not marveling at the scantily dressed women, but instead the sheer amount of people laying on hot chairs next to a bath tub of water and at least pretending to enjoy it.

When I put away my binoculars (just kidding) and sat back down, I realized there are really only two versions of pools I like.

The first is obvious, and it’s being in a vacation-worthy spot with a walk-up bar. Hey, it’s hot, we’re on vacation. Let’s walk around in the cool pool and enjoy a Tecate or margarita.

The second is by far the best use case for a pool. It’s at your friend’s parents’ house, preferably above ground. It lends itself to — no, it demands — putting your friend in a chokehold as a basketball floats feet away. It requires emphatic dunks and then a splash in your friend’s face afterward, and — take it or leave it — the use of emasculating language afterward.

See example: 4-0, bitch, your ball.

If you keep your voice down during these encounters, you’ll be lucky enough to have your friend’s mom bring out some snacks afterward, and then you’ll dive into the best combination of sandwich and chips you’ve ever had.

That’s fun.

What’s not fun is peacocking around with sun tan oil and sunglasses on, dying for the attention of two 36-year-old women who are dying for you to stop staring at them.

Let’s go to the pool!

And do what? Sweat a little bit for a long while, jump in twice, then walk back into the building with a beach towel down to my ankles and flip flops on, tracking water inside and parading embarrassingly back to the elevator like I’m leaving summer camp?

No thanks.

I don’t need to get a stern email from my building manager about bringing too many guests to the pool. How humiliating? Grown men so excited to get wet in the water hole that they brought too many friends to the party.

Get ahold of yourself fellas.

Be a real man, like me, and shake your head from above while watching your 70th Cubs game of the year in the air conditioning.

The Cubs don’t play until nighttime Saturday, though, which means I may have time to check out what the buzz is about.

If I do, I’ll do so with authority. Believe that. I’ll bring goggles down and swim laps voraciously, changing from freestyle to backstroke to butterfly after every length, only coming up for air out of necessity and shooting water out of my mouth when I do.

Or, go down shirtless with a boombox, and wildly misinterpret the ages of women while looking to flirt. “These young kids know nothing about Journey these days, do they?” I say to the pair of 31-year old women having their reading interrupted by the “Any Way You Want It” chorus blasting from my stereo.

Any way you want it
That's the way you need it
Any way you want it

“Come on, everybody now!”

It’s never my goal to be a contrarian, but it does seem to naturally occur more and more these days.

Take the White Sox fan who evoked an opposing player’s dead mother to taunt him on Tuesday. He’s been banned by the MLB, and justifiably so.

This fan is a monster, but that’s the takeaway everyone has.

My secondary and perhaps equally important takeaways are this: this guy was at a Tuesday White Sox game in insufferable heat, was engaged enough in the game to be taunting players, and was knowledgable enough to know Ketel Marte’s mother died in a car accident in 2017?

All I’m saying is, I would write the lead paragraph to this story differently:

Justin Ishbia has agreed to buy the White Sox from Jerry Reinsdorf, and the fans are already abuzz. An engaged, knowledgable White Sox fan was a reflection of that Tuesday, as he was dragged from his seat in the 92-degree heat after trying to curtail a Diamondbacks rally by taunting Ketel Marte about his dead mother.

He’s been banned from MLB games for life.

But are the White Sox back?

— 30 —

When I was at the Oklahoma-Alabama game last fall, an Oklahoma fan started harassing an Alabama fan as the Oklahoma lead grew. An Oklahoma fan quickly came to the defense of the Alabama fan, yelling “We don’t do that here!”

I was so jealous of the vigilantism that I tried to join in, but the nearby fans quickly caught on that I was a yankee in disguise.

So my only wish is that I was at this White Sox game, and that I could have put this fan in a chokehold, only for John Quiñones — the longtime host of What Would You Do? — to come out and offer his hand for me to shake it.

That, my friends, would be a dream come true. After every good deed in my life, after all, I crane my neck from one side to the other, hoping Quiñones and his camera crew are nearby.

One day.

I hope you all enjoy your summer weekend. But first, we’ve got a whole lot to get into.

The lineup today is reads just right:

Cubs: Have they broken their lull?

Bulls: Can an 18-year-old from France help break the malaise?

White Sox: Fan escorted out of game for screaming about a player’s dead mom

Let’s get into it!

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The Eastern Conference is going to be as bad as it has been since LeBron left it next year.

Horrifically bad. Three of the top-5 seeds from this year lost a player to a torn achilles in the playoffs, including Jayson Tatum (Celtics), Damian Lillard (Bucks), and Tyrese Haliburton (Pacers).

What’s more, the Knicks inexplicably fired Tom Thibodeau, who made them a respectable organization for the first time in at least a decade, and arguably in over two decades.

The Knicks have still not hired Thibodeau’s replacement, as their doofus owner James Dolan is reportedly back in the mix, and therefore the team has followed no real plan after firing Thibs.

They promptly requested to interview a handful of coaches already under contract — including Billy Donovan — and were shut down by all of those coaches’ teams. That got those coaches new contracts, and got the Knicks nothing. Donovan reportedly has signed an extension with the Bulls, too. The idea there is you either let your coach interview with the Knicks, or you give him an extension.

Agents, man.

Nevertheless, the Knicks still do not have a coach, and now are considering a few coaches that may or may not bring the best out of the Knicks next year. It’s also unlikely, at least in my eyes, that Jaylen Brunson (who rolls his ankle every game) and Karl Anthony-Towns stay healthy all next year.

That leaves the Cavaliers and the Magic as top Eastern conference teams, and then a bunch of others with limited faculties trying to compete for a top-seed and a chance at getting whomped in the NBA Finals.

A long preamble may not have been necessary to present the obvious: the Bulls, even in this extraordinary year, will not be competing for the Eastern Conference title.

Billy Donovan deserves praise. The players worth developing have all developed well underneath him, and the team consistently outperforms expectations. For those who think Donovan is even part of the problem, I liken Donovan winning big with this Bulls team to winning a World Cup with Bhutan. It’s just not going to happen.

What’s far more depressing is that, after the Bulls fired their only other good staff members this offseason, the Bulls also have reportedly extended President of Basketball Operations Arturas Karnisovas. Karnisovas is so dumb that he’s not even speaking to the media anymore, instead throwing General Manager Marc Eversley out there to answer questions with nonsensical answers.

Even the bright spots in Chicago, like Josh Giddey, are hard to relish given the context. Giddey is a fine player, but he was also traded to the Bulls straight up for Alex Caruso. The Thunder won the world championship with Caruso as one of their most outstanding players, and they still have a million first-round draft picks that the Bulls did not touch.

Giddey will also be overpaid at some point soon, and can’t really play defense. Then there’s Coby White, who is also a success story under Donovan. White is a fantastic offensive player. He also is not a great defender and him and Giddey together in the backcourt is not a recipe for winning consistently. He also will be overpaid.

The funniest part about that is Eversley saying yesterday that the Bulls are building a team of “two-way players who can’t be hunted.” Uhhh.

Then there’s Matas Buzelis, who may be the one bright spot we can take unadulterated joy in for the time being.

The Bulls are still not close to winning. That was a fact it took them four years to realize, and even when they realized it, they couldn’t lose well. They traded three talented players and got back their own pick and Giddey, and a couple of throw-ins.

Their draft pick on Wednesday was evidence of the fact that they believe they need to hit big on a long-term project. The Bulls really never have a plan, so even saying that may be giving them too much credit.

But I generally agree with the idea that drafting an 18-year-old from Europe is a better than drafting a somewhat known commodity from a U.S. college. Throw a hail mary over a drag route, I guess.

Nevertheless, the evaluations of Noa Essengue from France have not been stellar. On the surface, he’s a young kid with tools and has already played competitive professional basketball.

He’s also from France specifically, and while our grandparents may crack wise about France due to geopolitical matters, I crack wise at them because they’re usually a bunch of pussy basketball players who think they’re better than they are. Victor Wembanyama notwithstanding, I hate the major french basketball players — particularly after they gloated in the 2021 Olympics after a win over the U.S., only to lose twice in a row to them in the finals.

I may hate Wembanyama, too. Give him time.

International basketball means little to most, and a lot to me. So yeah, I still do hate French players for the most part because of that. I haven’t liked one since Tony Parker.

Essengue is a 6’9 forward. He does not even weigh 200 pounds, which gives you a good glimpse into how much of a project he is.

On the surface, I’m fine with a project given the Bulls trajectory. But they should have been looking for high draft picks and projects four years ago. Now, they continue to say they want to be competitive, while also drafting “projects” near the top of the first round. All the while, they’re unlikely to be competitive and unlikely to hit on a project given their organizational setup.

Essengue drew the ire of many Wednesday when it was reported that he left his professional team — the German Ratiopharm Ulm — for the NBA Draft this week in the middle of the team’s playoffs.

There’s been some refuting reports suggesting that was agreed to before the season, but it’s a bad look either way. But hey, he’s 18, forced to make big life decisions, and has an agent.

He’s tall enough to be a forward but has a lot of the skills — and desires — of a wing. He scored 20 points in a preseason game against the Portland Trail Blazers last year (who were playing his German team), which helped catapult him into the NBA draft consciousness.

From what I can tell, he draws fouls and and contact at a high rate, but he’s not a good shooter yet and doesn’t do anything really well. This year, he averaged 10 and 5 in 23 minutes per game for Ratiopharm Ulm.

In a vacuum, I like the idea for the Bulls here. Zoom out, and I hate this player with this organization.

Outside of Donovan, I just don’t have confidence the Bulls have the infrastructure to turn a gangly 190-pound kid from France into an NBA All-Star.

It will be nice to have another player to watch that could be a part of a successful Bulls future next year, with could being the loaded word there.

In the second round, the Bulls — who have never paid the luxury tax — received cash from the Lakers for their second-round pick.

The Bulls will pitter patter to 40ish wins or fewer next year for the fourth consecutive season. All the while, there’s no sale in sight (damn you, Sox fans) and there’s no end to Karnisovas’ reign on the horizon.

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All the concerning rumors surrounding the Cubs, the Ricketts, and the payroll makes the peaks and valleys of the 2025 season that much more pronounced.

On Tuesday, the Cubs lost to the Cardinals for the second straight day and had lost five of six. They scored seven runs in that game, but hadn’t been hitting when the wind wasn’t blowing a million miles per hour outward at Wrigley Field.

They hadn’t been pitching, either, as everyone not named Mathew Boyd has been in a shellacking turnstile the past few weeks.

On top of all of that, Pete Crow-Armstrong had his first truly reprehensible game this year. He forgot how many outs there were after catching a fly ball, allowing a run to score from second, which ended up being the difference. He also bunted on his own volition in what turned out to be a bad move.

All of those factors coalesced to form a low point in the Cubs season, which is now somehow halfway gone.

That’s why the games on Wednesday and Thursday were so important, and the Cubs won each and shut out the Cardinals in both.

It’s not quite a Band-Aid on a bullet hole, but it’s also not a complete easing of concerns.

Because it was Mathew Boyd again who led the Cubs to an 8-0 win Wednesday. Then, Shota Imanaga returned Thursday to throw five innings, surrendering no runs and just one hit.

Those two have been the foundation of the Cubs starting pitching group this year, so though the wins were all-important, not much has changed.

I guess what has changed is Imanaga is back. All the guy has done for his year and a half here is ball. The Cubs needed him badly, and he got right back to where he left off.

Imanaga has been strikingly consistent — his 2.8 ERA and 1.0 WHIP this year is about in line with what he produced last year.

It’s Boyd that has been a revelation. He now has 90 innings under his belt and a 2.65 ERA.

The Cubs NL Central lead has dwindled to just three games, but they grew their lead over the Cardinals to 4.5 games over the past two days.

Realistically, they should have left St. Louis yesterday with a resounding series win. They did not, but they could be in a worse position after a starting pitching collapse.

Ben Brown, Jameson Taillon, and Colin Rea have all been batting practice for opponents of late. They are generally the ones to blame for the lull.

Brown was sent down to Triple-A, but it doesn’t sound like the Cubs are all too concerned about his future with the team.

“This is part of being a young starting pitcher in the league and trying to make progress,” Craig Counsell said. “As you have to get 15, 18 outs in a game, it’s difficult. It’s hard to see now, but there is growth happening. It’s hard to like the growth when there’s struggles going on, but that’s where the best stuff comes from. So we just gotta keep working on it and improve the quality of the execution. Keep going.”

I thought Boog and J.D. had some great commentary on Brown this week, too. His good stuff is great, but he often wastes pitches. He’s either in a bad spot, or he’s in a good spot and lax enough to get himself into a bad spot.

No matter what the Cubs do at the deadline, one of the three aforementioned pitchers needs to step it up.

Imanaga is back, but I have not heard a word about Javier Assad since April. Jordan Wicks will not be the savior, at least I don’t think.

It’s not worth diving into the trade deadline talk again now, but a clear need is a clear need.

In the interim, the Cubs almost need to maintain that high level of offensive production to stay on course. There were glimpses of that this week.

Kyle Tucker is “locked in” right now. Nico Hoerner remains one of the most impressive players on the entire roster, even if he just tallied his first homer this week.

Matt Shaw has been fantastic in the field, but really needs to find his groove hitting. If he does, I think he’ll unlock another level of the offense. He came close a few times this week as well.

Ian Happ and Dansby Swanson are who they are — good players who have ups and downs, and ups and downs.

Swanson’s lineup placement drew a lot of controversy this week, as he’s hitting extremely poor with runners in scoring position. But for his career, he hits well with runners in scoring position.

If Counsell moves the lineup too much, he’s criticized for that. If he stands pat with one lineup, he’s criticized for a player’s performance in a relatively small sample size.

If anything, the more fair criticism would be that Swanson hit best toward the back of the order, and that he should have stayed there. But Nico Hoerner also hit poorly last year with runners in scoring position, and that’s not the case this year. These things ebb and flow.

The great thing about this Cubs lineup is I do believe in almost all of these guys. It’s frustrating when they slump simultaneously, but all have proven the ability to hit well over extended periods of time, besides Shaw, which is why his emergence is critical.

In addition to Imanaga, the Cubs got Porter Hodge back this week, a big lift to the bullpen. They also rid themselves of Nate Pearson and Genesis Cabrera. Michael Fulmer came up briefly, and then was DFA’d.

This weekend is a big one. Are the Cubs really out of their lull, or did Boyd and Imanaga temporarily mask it?

A weekend road series against the Astros should provide some of those answers.

As for PCA, he had some sage advice on how you get over a game like Tuesday’s (or how you get over anything in life, for that matter).

“You go to sleep, and you wake up.”

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Thank you for reading another edition of Still Gotta Come Through Chicago! We’ll be off next week for the first time all year for the holiday. Until next time we meet, let a friend know about the newsletter. Comment below.