Still Gotta Come Through Chicago

Everyone Calm Down

Happy Friday Chicago!

I kicked off work this morning with a woman asking, “Are you 40 yet?”

Fortunately, I’m not. More unfortunately, however, is that I’m 12 years away and she still asked.

As I idly stared at my aged mug looking back at me on the video chat, she continued to say everything goes downhill after 40 from a physical perspective. But I think the downfall starts much earlier than that.

When you shake off the post-college hangover and wake up one morning as an adult, you immediately have to start adjusting your life.

Have caffeine after noon, and your bitch ass won’t be able to sleep. Stay up late drinking multiple nights per week, and your bitch ass won’t be able to think.

But it’s not as if pulling back on caffeine past noon or drinking multiple days per week comes with some sort of reward. You don’t feel better, not at all.

You just feel as good — or maybe just close to as good — as you did a few years back when you were chugging coffee and booze whenever the hell you wanted. But now you just can’t chug coffee and booze whenever the hell you want.

So, I can imagine things get tough after 40, but I’m already kind of pissed off.

Maybe the wisdom oozing out of my ever-growing ears and nose blinded her to my otherwise youthful makeup.

Because wisdom is one thing that does develop with age. You’ve got a larger sample size to draw from. Don’t hang from the monkey bars, you’ll break your arm and mom won’t be able to save you. Don’t stop for someone trying to get your attention on the city street, in basically any equation. Don’t live next to a bar, it turns out it’s not cool at all.

You see enough things go wrong, and enough things go right, to sort of find your way around.

This is why I can never fully get into Batman and the whole Gotham City setting.

Honey, I know you like the dining options downtown, but a guy named “The Joker” was trying to murder everyone for five years, and now the police commissioner just said there’s a guy named Bane who has formed an underground army. Are you SURE you don’t want to check out house listings in the suburbs?

Maybe we should move closer to my parents, instead of waiting for The Batman — is that his name? — to save us.

(I’m a blast to watch movies with.)

BuT iT’s AcTuaLly a MuLtiVerSe, So BaNe aNd JoKeR arE iN diFferEnt GotHaM Cities!

Please. Please stop.

But the point is, in my time on earth — anywhere from 28 to 40 years, depending on who you ask — I have learned a few things.

So now it’s time to get on my soapbox and admonish you morons who are panicking about Caleb Williams’ first overall game on Sunday. If it were just First Take and Get Up having nonsensical debates over whether Williams is toast because of one bad performance, it would be one thing.

But it’s you all, you dear Bears fans, with all of your amnesia, complaining about the rookie quarterback’s performance.

From a broad NFL perspective, it’s historically foolish to judge based on a rookie quarterback’s first start. But hold that thought.

Because it’s actually worse to hear this panic and complaining from Bears fans. The same ones that used to pine over Jay Cutler, the same ones that contemplated whether Josh McCown could be the guy, and whether Brian Griese could give us more than Kyle Orton.

You’ve got a no. 1 overall pick, a Heisman winner. And you’re treating his first ever game like it’s Game 41 for Mitch Trubisky, and the Kansas City Chiefs just beat the Bears at Soldier Field 26-3, with Trubisky only throwing for 150 yards and no touchdowns.

It’s tough to act like you’ve been there before when you haven’t.

But others have, so let’s take a look.

Here are just the fellow rookies who started in Week 1:

Bo Nix: 26 for 42, 138 yards, 0 touchdowns, 2 interceptions in a 26-20 loss

Jayden Daniels: 17 for 24, 184 yards, 0 touchdowns, 0 interceptions; 88 yards rushing and 2 touchdowns on the ground in a 37-20 loss.

Now let’s step back and look at some of the current best quarterbacks in the league, many of which didn’t even start in the first game of their NFL careers.

Patrick Mahomes: Started in the last game of the 2017 season, 17 weeks in, and went 22 for 35 with zero touchdowns, an interception and a fumble.

Lamar Jackson: Started for the first time 10 weeks into the season, went 13 for 19 with zero touchdowns, 150 yards, one interception, three sacks; rushed for 119 yards.

Joe Burrow: Threw for 193 yards, no touchdowns, and one interception in a loss in which the Bengals scored 13 points.

Josh Allen: In the first game he was thrust into, he went 6/15 for 74 yards; in his first start, he totaled one touchdown, two interceptions and was sacked five times.

Jordan Love: First start came well into his career, went 19 for 34 with one touchdown and one interception.

Jalen Hurts: Also started his first game well into his rookie season, and went 17/30 for 167 yards and one touchdown.

But what about C.J. Stroud? He was great as a rookie.

C.J. Stroud: In the same position, Stroud went 28-44, with no touchdowns and no interceptions. He was sacked five times, for 46 yards total, and the Texans scored 9 points in a loss.

Should we keep going?

Tom Brady: In his first start in his second year in the league, he went 13 for 23 for 168 yards and no touchdowns.

Peyton Manning: 21 for 37 with one touchdown and three interceptions.

John Elway: Yanked after a 1 for 8 performance in his rookie debut.

Joe Montana: 5 for 12 for 36 yards and no touchdowns.

As far as multiverses go, I feel like I’m living in a universe others are not.

This is what I wrote about Caleb last week prior to his first start ever, in his first ever NFL game:

The second concern I have is what I’m also most excited for: Caleb Williams. I’m confident Williams will turn into a star, but I’m not confident he’ll be one from start to finish of this year.

And that’s alright. There will be ups and downs. And I don’t think the national and local expectations are too much for his psyche, which is of major importance. I do think they may be too much for him as a player, at least for this year.

I’m not evoking that excerpt because I want to pat myself on the back. I’m doing so to prove a point, which is that I’m not readjusting expectations because the quarterback of my favorite team played poorly.

And he did play poorly, really poorly. As expected, he did seem nervous, or at least overwhelmed.

That is expected from a rookie quarterback in Week 1, particularly when he’s facing interior pressure on nearly every drop back.

He made a couple of bad decisions, he missed a couple of wide open receivers. All of this is true.

I thought he would play better, as we all did, but by no means was I shocked by the performance. I was shocked by the fact we won.

If you, too, were complaining and panicking after his first start, remember again where you came from. Remember those delusions from Griese, McCown, and Trubisky. Take another look at all of your GOATS, and what they did in their first start — even when it was much further into their careers than Game 1.

Then go apologize to someone. Apologize in the comments, apologize to your coworkers. Apologize to your mother for being such a reactive dork.

Calm down, shut up, and get ready for Week 2. And go to your room.

Let’s go.

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In the Bears opener, Caleb Williams was awful. The newcomers Keenan Allen, Rome Odunze, and D'Andre Swift were basically non-factors. So, too, were the holdovers: Cole Kmet and Khalil Herbert.

The best players on the field appeared to be Darrell Taylor and DeAndre Carter, two players 99% of Bears fans knew nothing about two weeks ago.

Taylor had eight tackles, two sacks and a forced fumble. The Bears have basically already made their return on investment for the 6th round pick they gave up for him three weeks ago.

DeAndre Carter had a kick return for 67 yards — halfway to the Bears offensive yardage total — and 5 punt returns for 64 yards.

Carter was a summer pickup, while Taylor was a late-late summer pick up. It’s not hyperbolic to say we wouldn’t have won the game without the two of them.

I am still in shock that the Bears won that game, seven days later. Not only did they come back from 17-0, not only did they score 24 straight points, but they did so without an offensive touchdown.

The defense was fantastic in the second half, but it took them until then to get going. Jaylon Johnson, Tyrique Stevenson, and Tremaine Edmunds deserve credit for their big-time plays toward the end of the game. They picked the team up, collectively.

But Taylor and Carter were tremendous throughout.

The goal is to not have either of them be players of the game moving forward, and the goal is to not have another instance in which the Bears need to score 24 straight without an offensive touchdown to come back and win.

It is worth reflecting on, though. If the Bears have any chance of being competitive this year, they needed to win that game.

And they did.

I’m not sure what it means about the team yet, whether it shows a unique resilience or whatever. But I do know, with certainty, the Bears wouldn’t have won that game in prior years, for a variety of reasons.

So I guess it does say something about the 2024 team.

As for the offense, it was about as bad as it could get.

Williams looked like he was teaching himself how to throw a football throughout, or like he watched Mitch Trubisky’s release to get ready for his NFL career.

He missed Allen on the long ball, but then Allen also dropped a perfect pass from him that would have been a touchdown.

I think Williams’ performance will continue to ebb and flow, but I don’t think the specific, above-mentioned details will resurface regularly.

In watching football, my dream is to have an offensive coordinator for any team I root for — the Bears, the Iowa Hawkeyes — call a game without me questioning it.

My baseline is not questioning a coordinators’ calls. I generally accept they know better than I do. But then the Lord gives me Brian Ferentz and Luke Getsy and I must leave my baseline.

I had to again on Sunday, and I’d like that not to happen again.

Why is Velus Jones Jr. touching the ball again offensively after dropkicking the ball back to the Titans on a kickoff?

Why is DeAndre Carter getting reps at wide out?

Why is Travis Homer on my TV screen so much when we have three capable backs in Swift, Khalil Herbert, and Roschon Johnson?

Why do I have to keep checking to see if Cole Kmet is injured?

I don’t think game planning against what seems to be a good defense, with a rookie QB, in Game 1, is easy. But it has got to look easier than that.

To his credit, Shane Waldron took accountability this week, saying the reps didn’t pan out right, and that they needed to be adjusted. That’s a good step.

The interior line remains a game of musical chairs, and not a fun one. What definitely doesn’t help a rookie QB is the aforementioned interior pressure, as well as an inability to run the ball. I’ve never seen so many four-yard losses on dive plays in my life.

I don’t know what the Bears are going to do with Nate Davis and Coleman Shelton, other than hope that Ryan Bates comes back healthy and impactful, but something needs to happen.

If that doesn’t sort itself out, I don’t know if the rest of the equation matters much. Having said that, I’m going to stick to my guns and believe that the offensive line can get to average at some point this year — ideally sooner than later.

Rome Odunze has a knee injury, but is thankfully being listed as day-to-day. Keenan Allen has been dealing with a heel injury, but he’s expected to play Sunday.

The good news is that it cannot look any worse than it did Sunday, at least I don’t think.

It’s not his fault, but Matt Eberflus’ face looks dumber and dumber the larger the deficit. It looked fine at the start, really dumb at 17-0, and fine postgame.

His defense played their asses off. The first half was very shaky, but ultimately they turned Levis over and pressured him when it mattered. They battened down the hatches when the game called for it.

It’s time to apologize for my Velus Jones Jr. takes. See? I’m apologizing too. He’s talented as hell, and still should not be on the field from here on out. The risk is simply not worth the reward.

Having said that, besides that ridiculous fumble, the specials teams were fantastic. They were the difference.

Bears Special Teams Coordinator Richard Hightower deserves a game ball, as without him dialing up the return play he did, or the punt block he did, we’re 0-1 headed into a three-week gauntlet.

Just a stunning victory. And I’m still more grateful for the victory than I am disappointed in the overall effort.

Having said that, as I detailed last week, it was a must win for a reason. Now it’s Sunday night in Houston, then to Indianapolis, and then home versus the Rams. All three teams looked the part in Week 1.

Frankly, I’d be thrilled with 2-2 heading into Week 5. But that’s a loser mentality, so we’ll start with next week.

The Bears went from a 3-point underdog in Sunday night’s contest to a 6.5-point underdog in a hurry after last week’s win.

Houston is very much a win-now team. Will Levis is not walking out of that tunnel. The Bears won’t have a chance to crawl back into the game over two quarters like they did last week.

My expectations are low headed into this game. But I’m grateful that I can go into it with 1-0 hope, and not 0-1 angst and misery.

Demonstrable improvement, that’s all I’m asking for.

#BEARDOWN

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The Cubs are not going to make the playoffs.

You have to say that to yourself every day, sometimes three to five times. Trust me, it sort of works.

I don’t get proud of myself often, but when I flipped off Wednesday’s game after the sixth inning and opted to go to bed, I was.

The growth and the foresight I showed there would be something my younger self would have marveled at.

The Cubs are playing like a playoff team right now, and everything clicking now is what needed to click just a bit earlier. It sucks. We’ve been over it.

But in the last 30 days, Pete Crow-Armstrong — who was already one of the best fielders and baserunners in baseball — has the 16th best OPS in the entire league.

Over that same period, Seiya Suzuki is 17th. He’s up to an .832 OPS on the season, 33% above league average. He has turned in a hell of a year.

Ian Happ is 40th in that same measurement over the last 30 days.

Those three have all turned in tremendous years, and a lot of the other Cubs — namely Cody Bellinger — have turned in sneaky good years as well.

But this week ends the same as last week. Too little, too late.

The Cubs are not making the playoffs. Say it with me.

Shout out to Aramis Ramirez and Kerry Wood for being inducted into the Cubs Hall of Fame last weekend. Wood is a fan favorite, but Aramis Ramirez is one of the most underrated Cubs players this century.

The Ramirez and Derrek Lee tandem will forever be my favorite.

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As the White Sox race for the worst season in modern MLB history, the front office is doing a great job of quelling concerns.

Chris Getz is doing his best impersonation of a Chicago mayor, blaming what he’s inherited for his countless missteps.

"If you would have told me we would end up flirting with the record, I would have been a little surprised,” he said this week. “Now if you would have told me prior to the year we would have ended up with over 100 losses, 105/110, I would not have been as surprised. This is the cards we've been dealt at this point. You try and make the best of it."

He needs to stop talking. Getz must forget that we all know he had an integral role in the organization before he was inexplicably hired as general manager.

But he was not outdone by his boss, the bane of our existence, Jerry Reinsdorf.

(The Bulls have won just eight fewer games this calendar year than the White Sox).

"Everyone in this organization is extremely unhappy with the results of this season, that goes without saying," Reinsdorf said in a statement this week. "This year has been very painful for all, especially our fans. We did not arrive here overnight, and solutions won't happen overnight either. Going back to last year, we have made difficult decisions and changes to begin building a foundation for future success. What has impressed me is how our players and staff have continued to work and bring a professional attitude to the ballpark each day despite a historically difficult season. No one is happy with the results, but I commend the continued effort. I expect to have more to say at the end of the season."

“We did not arrive here overnight.”

On one end, that’s true. The Sox have been a terrible organization during the better part of Jerry’s entire ownership tenure.

On the other end, the Sox sort of did get here overnight. They were a favorite to win the World Series two years ago. Now they are 33-114.

“Solutions won’t happen overnight either.”

That’s the Jerry I know.

Not only do we not care that much that we’re the worst baseball team in history, but also, just so you know, we won’t use any of the tools available to us to rectify the situation immediately. We will be awful again next year.

In a just world, the MLB and NBA would take note of the misery he’s willingly put two incredible fanbases through, and strip him of his teams.

In an unjust world, I am rooting for the White Sox to lose every game from here on out.

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