Good morning and happy playoff weekend Chicago! It’s been so long… too long.
I’ve been getting some migraines at night recently, which makes it exceedingly hard to get these takes off. I apologize for the wait.
I knew I had to get something out today for you all, so bear with me. This is an all-encompassing, 13-minute, stream-of-consciousness ramble. I think some of you prefer it that way. It’s a PG-13 edition of SGCTC.
I’ll get more in the weeds on each subject in the coming weeks — I promise.
You’ll enjoy this one anyway, I hope.
Tell a friend to subscribe today if you enjoy the newsletter. Share it. Read to the end. All that good stuff:
I would appreciate that very much. Now let’s talk some War of 1812.
A lot has changed since last year and a lot has certainly changed since 1814, the last time some absolutely disgusting looking white people charged a government building in Washington D.C.
I don’t mean to generalize here, but the British are not good looking people. Even the famous ones don’t take care of their teeth. It’s repulsive. And that’s today. I can’t imagine how pale their skin was and how yellow their teeth were in the early 1800s. Those wigs probably fucking wreaked too.
When these warriors first began clumsily running towards the capitol building the other day like a bunch of Florida Gator fans trying to get back to catch the second half of a ball game after peeing in a urinal and simultaneously grunting, I thought about making a tweet on the @stillgottaChi twitter account.
I was workshopping this one:
*People running toward the capitol doors*
“Still Gotta Come Through subscribers who laughed at the Bulls win total bet after two games trying to hop back on the bandwagon”
And hoo boy, am I glad I didn’t. Because then shit got real serious. And anyone that posted anything online that wasn’t dead serious got admonished. So probably wasn’t the time to joke about a Chicago Bulls over bet.
But back to the world changing. I imagine in 1814 — during the War of 1812 — when the Brits made James Madison and his lovely wife Dolley flee the White House, and then ultimately tried to burn that shit down, shit stopped for the next week in the U.S.
I bet everyone across the country was talking about one thing for the next, like, three months — the storming of the White House. I bet people were gathering up their guns and ammo and devising plans to hit the Brits back because they attacked the capital of our country. I bet 15-year-olds were planning vengeance, women were prepping supplies for the war effort on overtime, and every wise man was penning a 13,000-word pamphlet about what it meant to the country.
Wednesday was a whirlwind, don’t get me wrong. But the 2021 “insurrection,” as they’re calling it (I had to look it up too), had us looking like absolute unpatriotic losers.
For God’s sake, my roommate got off a call and I asked him if he saw what was going on and he said he hadn’t seen yet. I think the next sentence that came out of my mouth was about whether he’d seen anything about Roquan Smith’s injury status.
In between chatting about the capitol building getting raided, I’m chatting about a middle linebacker? I should have been painting my face and riding a horse to D.C.
Because if there’s any conspiracy bigger than the president potentially provoking a violent uprising in the government he runs, it’s the secrets the Bears are keeping from us.
What the hell is wrong with that guy, and why did Bears fans have no idea during the entire game? Why, days later, are the details still incredibly murky?
(It seems that he dislocated his elbow, and will likely be OUT on Sunday — a major, major blow)
It’s odd, almost as odd as a country with one of the biggest defense budgets in the world not being able to keep hillbillies out of the capitol building.
And, by no means am I making light of this situation.
I just can’t get over how 2020 has numbed us to historically significant events.
Thinking that January was going to be a smooth-sailing month after the year we just witnessed just because of an arbitrary calendar turnover was akin to us sitting our dumbasses in front of the television Sunday thinking the Bears had a chance against the Packers — when they were trying — because we, like, really needed to win?
Playoff Week
Is it even worth talking about the Packer game?
The Bears are who we thought they were!
A fleeting “good” defense with a confused defensive coordinator to match an offense that only performs against bottom-five defenses. Why did we think — even for a second — that they were going to beat the Packers in a game where Green Bay was trying?
Aaron Rodgers is 21-5 against the Bears. Brett Favre was 22-10.
Are the McCaskeys embarrassed? Forgive me for the lack of attribution, I forget who posted this on Twitter: But there are 12 quarterbacks who threw for more than 4,000 yards this season. The Bears have never had a 4,000-yard passer.
That makes sense, since the Bulls haven’t had a good quarterback since Sid Luckman. But my lord.
Say what you want about Trubisky. He’s a good guy, I like him. He’s done relatively well since he got back, by his standards. He still is a one-read quarterback, makes bone-headed throws, and is incapable of winning you a game against a division leader.
His legs are supposed to be an asset, yet he doesn’t use them. When he does, he cowers too often and loses yards he could’ve gained. That didn’t use to be the case.
He has faced the easiest defenses of any quarterback in the NFL this year — that’s a fact. And it shows. Against formidable foes, the 30-point games seem unobtainable.
And it’s not all his fault. Nagy no doubt had his hands back in the playbook on Sunday. This is the most frustrating thing about this play calling storyline. No one knows who is calling the plays, just as Nagy wants it. He wants the credit and less of the blame.
Our red zone play calling is an utter embarrassment. Our 3rd and short and 4th and short play calls are even worse.
Tom Brady is one of the least physically imposing quarterbacks in the NFL. He’s also attempted well over 150 QB sneaks in his entire career and has converted on about 85% on them.
We have a “dynamic” quarterback, and yet on 4th and 3rd and inches we run fake action and dump offs, or whatever the hell we ran on Sunday.
Both passes were inexcusable — yes, the one we converted on and the one we did not convert on.
Keep it simple, stupid (or keep it simple, DUMB FUCK. Yeah I like that one) should replace BE YOU on Nagy’s play sheet. He is incapable of getting out of his own way.
With Nagy handicapping this Bears team, who is far more talented than its 8-8 record would suggest, they will never be able to match the Green Bay Packers on the field.
Were the Bears outmanned Sunday? I don’t think so. The Packers aren’t all that more talented than the Bears.
But were they out coached? As my dad would put it, eloquently, ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY.
Just like the first time around in Lambeau, the Bears didn’t look like they were playing the same game as the Packers at times. Danny Trevathan in coverage on a guy that runs a 4.3 40-yard dash, after he faked a blitz?
Does someone need to remind Chuck Pagano who quarterbacks the other team?
But I’ll never not be excited about a playoff berth. It’s in my nature. Plus, the Bears have made the playoffs six times since I’ve been alive. I am 25 years old.
So yes, I’m going to get riled up on Saturday and start saying things like, “We match up pretty well against the Saints. Brees can’t throw. Then we got the Packers, and it’s hard to beat a team three times!”
But that doesn’t excuse the embarrassment that is this franchise right now. The Bears went all in on this team. They’re not rebuilding.
What did it get them? Combined losses totaling 35 points against their biggest division rival, an 8-8 record, and a back-in to a playoff seed that didn’t exist a year ago.
I don’t do drugs (which is unfortunate, being a Bears fan), so naturally, when the Bears lost I pranced over to Burger King, which is dangerously close to my apartment. As I ordered my narcotic — an Oreo shake, hold the whip cream — a homeless man spotted my sweatshirt, which said Chicago Bears on it.
Dammit. Should have taken it off.
I’m not sure if he knew if the Bears won or lost. He knew the final score but he kept saying, ‘Who would’ve thought the Bears would beat the Packers 35-16?’ But then he would talk about them sucking. I don’t know, it was a confusing 10 minutes of me peering at the ice cream machine urging them to hurry up.
Meanwhile, this man started running routes at me explaining why the Bears weren’t good. It actually kind of made sense, and he assured me he knew a lot about sports.
A direct quote:
“I’m a sports fanatic. Used to gamble my ass off on ‘em. That’s why I’m homeless now, but I know what I’m talking about.”
It was either the worst argument or the best I’ve ever heard. But his best quote was yet to come. His story should’ve probably kept me from absolutely HAMMERING the Bears +10 this Sunday (and the moneyline, God help me), but rest assured it did not.
As he received his burger and I received my perfectly cold, perfectly mixed, perfectly beautiful Oreo shake, he turned to me and said.
"You know what’s our fucking problem though? It’s that motherfuckin’ coach!”
In Chicago, everyone — even the homeless — now know the problem.
As if the Bears didn’t need anything else to toy with their emotions this week, a report came out of Houston today that Deshaun Watson wants out of Houston and has asked for a trade. He was notoriously passed up by the Bears in the 2017 draft and is now asking out the year that the man who was picked ahead of him is set to leave town.
A tweet was immediately pulled up from him in 2013, where he said “loving this Chicago weather.” (Yes, it was in June. Hopefully he likes Bear weather too.) Later, he randomly followed two Chicago weathermen on Twitter.
If the Bears had any sense, they’d trade whatever it took to get him to Chicago this offseason. But they won’t, and we’ll have to deal with this shit all over again.
But will we be the Super Bowl champions?
Oh When the Saints!
Even if we were, I’d still tell Nagy he’d have to buy the ring himself and that his contract was terminated.
Having said that, it’s great to be in the playoffs. Life is way too short to be one of these dudes on Twitter who talks about draft picks all day every day. Listen, I’m fully aware that if the Bears would have lost out they would have been able to get a top QB prospect.
Rooting for my team to win despite that is what it means to be a fan, even if it may be doing yourself in in the long run.
Every person that counts losses over wins that you know is guaranteed the guy that starts screaming at everyone that they need to leave a pregame so he can meet a girl when everyone is listening to music and having a good time.
I swear, some of these “fans” would rather have their teams lose out every year so they could have a top draft pick and fondle themselves to the college QBs than win 10 games and lose in the first or second round.
There’s a happy medium, and I think most of you are in it. Does the Bears making the playoffs hurt the Bears longterm? Yeah, maybe. Does that suck? Yeah, it does.
But that’s on the McCaskeys and Ted Phillips, man. There’s nothing we can do. If you go through life rooting for draft picks over wins, you’re going to end up miserable.
And yeah, I’ll end up miserable too, after the Bears crush my soul at the end of each year. But at least I’ll have some beers with my friends and speculate that a run is coming on the way.
That’s the fun in this shit. Even when the Bulls were awful and I worked for the team, I’d find myself going ballistic in the rafters if they blew a loss. I’d stare a goddamn hole in Jim Boylen postgame and he’d sweat knowing my eyes were on his ass. Not literally, but you know. And yeah, that sweat probably had nothing to do with me.
But you get the point.
Going into Sunday, I actually knew the best outcome for the Bears would be for them to lose to the Packers and the Cardinals to lose the Rams. That would put them against the Saints, who they lost to in overtime midyear, and not against the Packers, who they would’ve just beaten. Did anyone think the Bears had it in them to beat the Packers two weeks in a row?
Making it into the playoffs is not like banging your sister. Whoever made that phrase up is a weirdo. There is nothing redeeming about having sex with your sister. There is no positive in that equation. I’d say it was like, I don’t know, drinking a lot on a night. Lot of fun, and a really bad hangover.
All I root for is hope. And a matchup against the Saints brings that.
Our eyes should tell us otherwise. But they also should tell us that Drew Brees can barely throw the ball and that if the Bears play their best game, they got a shot. That’s all I want. A shot.
Khalil Mack: "A lot of disrespect that we have been hearing. We take offense to it. We are going to use all of that to our advantage. They let us in (the playoffs) and oh man it's going to be fun."
Like, even hearing that from Mack gets me going. 10 point underdogs? Come on, man. If this Bears defense plays like they’re capable of and the Lazor mans the offensive play calling (two MASSIVE If’s), we got a shot here.
Alvin Kamara is back from the COVID-19 list. If we beat the Saints, I want him in there, despite the fact that the last time we played them there were plays where it seemed like the Bears forgot he was on their team.
The Saints have such better coaching it’s hard to even compare. But as I’ve stressed ad nauseam, this is a talented-ass group we’ve got. The Bears apparently have a 20% chance of winning based on ESPN’s FPI.
That’s all I need! I’d watch if they had a 1% chance, so a 20% chance means I’m knocking on my roommates doors at 5pm today saying PLAYOFF WEEK!
We can get mad and frustrated after, which we likely will. Until then, let’s enjoy the goddamn ride.
Bear down.
Hop on the Bandwagon!
You dumbasses thought that the Bulls were done because they lost their first two games? Do you think I made a hype video for no reason?
The Bulls are objectively fun to watch. As I sat in my apartment alone, trying not to wake my roommates, throwing up silent “three signs” high above my head every time we connected on one against the 10-point-favorite Trail Blazers, I had nothing but warm feelings in my heart.
The Bulls have a gauntlet of a schedule left in January. I’m telling you right now they may end up 7-13 by the end of the month. And I’m telling you right now that won’t be a concern.
Because once that schedule flips, the team will be better, and that slick son of a bitch Billy Donovan will still be our coach.
The Bulls have won 4 games this year. They were 5.5-, 6.5-, 6.5-, and 9.5-point underdogs in each of them. They have yet to be favored in a game and are still in the playoff hunt nine games in.
They were down 20! to the Blazers after one quarter the other night, and fought back to win. It was the best win in, no joke, four years.
Zach LaVine said it himself. A year ago, that team doesn’t win that game. Billy Donovan has already changed everything about this team — from their production to their schemes to their attitude. And it’s a joy to watch.
The defense is improving, as they adjust to a vastly different approach. Coby White is beginning to finish at the rim at a much better clip over the last couple of games. Wendell Carter Jr. has found his groove.
Without Tomas Satoransky, who I think is one of the most important players on the team — he is one of the only true facilitators — and Lauri Markkanen, the Bulls have still succeeded.
They should be 5-4, by the way. After leading the Warriors with seconds remaining, the Warriors took 6.5 seconds to inbound the ball. You only get 5. Right then, it should have been Bulls ball and a Bulls win — which the NBA admitted. The Warriors center also committed a foul on that play, which also should have made it Bulls ball, and a Bulls win. The NBA also admitted that. If we lose this over by a win, I am flying to New Jersey and rushing NBA headquarters with an animal hat on my head.
Hell, that puts them at 5-4. And if Zach LaVine — who, if you’ve noticed, I’ve been easier on this year — didn’t chuck up a contested three-pointer 5 seconds into the shot clock Wednesday night against the Kings, the Bulls could be 6-3.
Old habits die hard.
The Bulls barely fell short of a road victory against the Kings in a game that should have been theirs.
If they had, which again, they should have, that would have been their first back-to-back-night wins on the road since February of 2015. It would have been their first back-to-back-night wins on the West Coast since December of 2011.
The Bulls, one of the least talented teams in the NBA, were an ill-advised shot away from accomplishing something they haven’t in nearly a decade.
They’re a missed call and a bad shot away from being 6-3.
But they’re not. They’re 4-5, and now have to play the Lakers, Clippers, Celtics, Mavs, Lakers, Celtics, and Mavs all in January still.
But, they have won 44% of their games. And what % do they need to win to hit the over? Everyone together…
41.5%!
This team gets better every game and that won’t stop soon. If they beat the Lakers and Clippers, I’ll get a tattoo of Billy Donovan’s initials on my ass.
If they don’t, I’ll still be screaming I told you so, and I’ll still be screaming BULLS OVER AND STILL GOTTA COME THROUGH CHICAGO!
P.S. Pat Williams is still starting and is one of the best performing rookies through nine games. Wave to the haters, Pat! Hi!
The Poor Cubs
The Cubs — the supposedly rich team who made their fans pay more money for a TV network to “put it back on the field” — just gave the runner-up in Cy Young voting away for a bag of baseballs.
That may be too harsh, but when I heard that Yu Darvish may be traded to the Padres, I thought, ‘Well, they have a great farm system. Maybe this will bring some good, at least.’ Instead, it yielded Zach Davies, a middle-of-the-rotation starter at best and some prospects who may still have their virginity.
For all the talking the Ricketts do, they sure don’t do a lot of walking. The Cubs aren’t the Yankees, clearly, and are trying to make up dollars like a struggling laser tag business during a pandemic.
They’ve shed $75 million in salary, which is something you root for if you also want your team to get the best draft pick every year. The Cubs are supposed to be a big market, rich team. If you looked around Disneyland recently — or, Wrigleyville — you’d get that impression.
Instead, they are trading for prospects that aren’t even top-5 in the Padres system and probably won’t be up in the majors until people stop wearing masks around (I guess this is up for interpretation).
(Smarter people than I are bullish on these prospects. But you won’t know their names for years, is the point. And that means there’s a lot of variance in projections.)
We all had our problems with the Cubs last year, but they did win the division.
Now, they’re trying to save dollars wherever they can like they’re the Oakland As and breaking their promises (Ricketts: “I don’t think anyone is tearing anything down.”)
I can assure you this, though. Tickets will still be $100 and beers will be $12.
I’m not sure what else the Cubs will do this year. But if you’re going to give away your best performing player for that return, you may as well do a fire sale.
Why keep Bryant? Why keep Contreras?
If you’re going to be a rich team, act like it. If you’re going to be a poor team, commit to it.
I haven’t been less excited about a Cubs season since pre-Theo. At least Junior Lake was on the horizon then.
But there was some good news out of Wrigley this week. The Marquee Network, after inexplicably letting Len Kasper go, finally did something right.
It hired Jon ‘Boog’ Sciambi to replace Len in the booth. I could not think of a better replacement.
Sciambi was the best baseball broadcaster that ESPN had, and is a joy to listen to. He is undoubtedly going to be great in this role. He’s set to do 130ish games next year while he maintains some other assignments elsewhere. Him and JD should go fantastic together.
Broadcasters, which I’ve said again and again, are as important to me as the players on the field.
I’m a massive NBA League Pass consumer, which means I listen to broadcasters all across the league. Every time I do, I thank God for Stacey King.
When Len left, I was worried that the Cubs would be bad and hard to listen to. Now, that won’t be the case.
For instance, when the White Sox were terrible, I still found myself tuning into games just to listen to Jason Benneti and Steve Stone shoot the shit.
And this stuff is most important in baseball. It’s a regional sport, and you let these home announcers into your life almost half of the days out of the year. Welcoming the right ones in your home is crucial.
If nothing else, good on the Cubs for this.
Stumbling Hawks
The Blackhawks had an exciting end to their season last year: an upset playoff victory and an eventual exit under high stakes.
Since then, they have:
—Promoted Stan Bowman
—Lost Kirby Dach to a wrist injury that will keep him out for months after playing well in an overseas tournament
—Lost Jonathan Toews to a mysterious, undisclosed illness
The third is the scariest. Toews — for a myriad of reasons — is the most important player to the Hawks. His absence will hurt the team gravely, and is also concerning on its own.
No one knows what’s wrong with him, and he is set to be out for the “foreseeable future.”
Toews has played 70 games in 10 of his 12 seasons, not counting the lockout year. He’s been the captain through many of them.
As training camp opened, the largest story out of every outlet was about who wasn’t there, and not who was.
Vegas has the Hawks as the third-worst team heading into this year. Worst of all — they’re not really rebuilding.
Hawks begin the season Wednesday against the Lightning.
Thanks for reading, as always! Enjoy your playoff weekend. Let’s get through this Friday in the comment section:
STILL GOTTA COME THROUGH CHICAGO! WE’LL NEVER FORGET THE WAY YOU THRILLED THE NATION…
The bears have a better chance of scoring on a 50 yard play than they do scoring when it is goal to go from the 10 and that is saying something considering we rarely see plays over 20 yards. If we can miraculously figure out our Red Zone offense in one week, we have a real chance of being that old fuck drew and the saints. Toss the regular season record into the garbage its the playoffs and were 0-0. ITS TIME TO BEAR DOWN
Assuming we lose to the Saints, I still want Nagy gone. Going 8-9 with this roster.... that being said, It's tough to beat a team three times. ITS TOUGH TO BEAT A TEAM THREE TIMES!!!