Still Gotta Come Through Chicago

Bears Draft, Crosstown Classic, LaVine Free Agency

Good morning Chicago!

On Tuesday night, the Cubs and the Sox met at Wrigley Field — for some reason — for the first of four matchups.

Why these games have 1. been sliced from six to four and 2. been moved to a part of the year when it’s even possible for the weather to be as miserable as it was Tuesday night, I have no idea.

The White Sox won the first game, 3-1, but I’m not really sure there were any takeaways. You could hardly see who was hitting (on TV!) half the time. There were a million infield singles, errors, and a slew of other non-MLB-baseball plays.

The biggest takeaway for me was Cubs and Sox fans coming together, if you could call it that, to make the infamous “cup snakes” in the bleachers mid-game.

Mai Tai Guy @maitaiguy0

Cubs and Sox fans working together😆 #Chicagokicksass

I generally tend to be in the camp of “let people have fun,” so I don’t get involved in the whole “cup snake” debate. If you have a life and aren’t online enough to know that there have been debates over cup snakes, no. 1, I envy you, and no. 2, let me briefly explain.

A “cup snake” is when you pile a bunch of empty beer cups on top of each other enough to the point where they resemble a snake, hence the name, and it winds from one part of the stands (generally the bleachers) to another. For some reason, Wrigley was fervently against this madness for years, until recently, when they probably came to the realization that anyone showing up for April and May Cubs games in 2022 should be able to kill someone in the concourse and get away with it.

Having said all of that, making a cup snake at a baseball game in 38-degree, rainy weather immediately became part of my unofficial top-5 things I’d least like to do (that I feasibly could do) on a Tuesday night.

Off the dome, that top-5 is as follows:

— Drink any sort of alcohol (this is part of the cup snake equation, too)

— Go to a work event … I could stop here … but especially if you’ve got a comedian in the group who somehow still thinks making anyone take a Malort shot is in any way funny

— Form a cup snake with strangers in the most miserable weather I can possibly imagine

— Watch any network television show that is promoted during national sporting events

— Move

If you’re doing that on a Tuesday night, I’m not a psychologist, but you may want to re-think your life choices. That, or if you have already had your 13th birthday party and still sport any sort of merchandise ribbing the baseball team in Chicago that you are not a fan of.

The second game was far more entertaining, and though the Sox are clearly the far better team, I think it’s fair to say they snuck away with one, given the (hits) they scored runs on. Either way, the Cubs having men on first and third with no outs and generating zero runs is inexcusable, so they deserved to lose.

In that inning, the Cubs were so hellbent on getting Nick Madrigal to second that they had Seiya Suzuki swing at a pitch above his head because it was a “hit and run” situation, and then had Ian Happ do the same, because Madrigal was stealing. They were so worried about getting two runs that they got zero.

The Cubs have quickly become one of the worst teams in baseball, which I guess isn’t surprising, but it did come quickly.

The way it’s manifesting? Hundreds of minor league videos and articles surfacing every day. I’m not mad at it. The Cubs have some studs in their system — Pete Crowe-Armstrong, who the Cubs got for two months of Javier Baez’s services — has been the most popular of late.

You know your team is shit based on the ratio of content put out having to do with the major league team versus the minor league clubs. And the Cubs ratio there is not great right now.

For now, we’re subject to dreadful Jason Heyward at bats, for the sixth year in a row.

On the Sox side, they’re coming out of a dreadful — and I mean dreadful — stretch. Nothing helps more these days than a quick trip to the north side to heal those woes.

Who knows, that losing streak could be the beginning of the “championship DVD,” as they used to call it, with Tony La Russa drunkenly saying “I knew these boys had it in them.”

While the Sox seemingly have more competition in the division than some may have expected, namely the Twins, I think in the midst of these bad stretches — which admittedly don’t often happen to great teams — it’s often forgotten what the circumstances are.

The Sox are still missing Yoan Moncada, Joe Kelly and Lance Lynn. Unfortunately, Eloy Jimenez and Andrew Vaughn have been added to that list. But the point is, their roster is not close to full strength.

It’s also the beginning of May, and the splits on certain guys show that these numbers are often misleading. It’s even the case for Kyle Hendricks, who I refuse to give up on — though he’ll likely be gone by July anyway.

Either way, that Crosstown Classic sucked. Have you ever seen a Cubs/Sox game not at capacity in your life, no matter each team’s standing? The MLB took that as a challenge, I guess.

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The Bears could have chosen a player from any single position group with their first two picks of this year’s draft — outside of a quarterback — and it would have made complete sense.

If you haven’t noticed, the Bears roster stinks. It is completely void of talent. That’s just the reality of the situation right now, and it’s fine for where they’re at. There’s no question this new regime knows that.

Ryan Poles even had it in him to say that the rebuilding of the roster — without using the word rebuild, because George McCaskey hates it — would take more than a year.

‘‘You might have to redo some countertops over here, some fresh paint over there,’’ he also added during a press conference in late April. ‘‘Some rooms are good; you don’t need to touch them. So that’s kind of the thought process there. That’s not a rebuild.’’

‘‘We’re constructing a very good football team,’’ he continued. ‘‘Regardless of how you use whatever term that is, we just continue to add talent. And young talent, older talent, whatever it takes to make the best team possible.’’

This is a multi-year plan, and the Bears’ draft strategy reflected that.

I ran through it in my head. If the Bears would have gone with wide-outs, which seemingly every fan wanted, in the second round, that would have made sense.

Their route made sense too, drafting a cornerback and a safety.

If they drafted a defensive lineman, that would have made sense. If they drafted an offensive lineman, that would have made sense.

Even if they drafted an edge, or a tight end with super-high upside, it could be explained.

In some ways, that put them in a good position. The Bears had so many needs that they were in the position to draft the best players available. At the same time, that put them in a precarious position from the fan perspective, because if they didn’t address skill positions sooner rather than later, they’d be accused of ‘leaving Justin Fields out to dry.’

Which is exactly what happened.

So much of post-draft discourse is bullshit. Most people don’t know 97% of the players drafted by name, and even then, 100% of people have basically no idea how good those 3% with higher Q scores will actually be in the NFL.

But I have no problem with guessing. That can be 20% of it. The more measured, sensical discourse should make up the other 80%, which is breaking down the actual process behind the draft.

And I think the Bears process was great, with one caveat: it was great, in a vacuum.

To some extend, I have one foot on one side of the fence and one on the other.

That is, I think the Bears draft process looked great, and that the way this roster is currently constructed makes me worry sincerely about what it could do to Justin Fields.

One year of Justin Fields’ NFL career has already been wasted by Nagy, Pace and co. He’s only going to be on his all-important rookie-scale contract for so many years.

But more important than that, it’s likely impossible for almost any quarterback to develop properly in a situation where the offensive line and wide receiver rooms next door to his are filled with little talent.

By the time the Bears drafted on Day 2, there had already been over 10 receivers acquired — either through the draft directly or indirectly through trade. Good receivers continued to go off the board after they drafted, but I almost respect Poles more for drafting what he thought were the best players available at the picks they were originally slotted at.

Had Ryan Pace still been around, we likely would’ve traded our two seconds, our next first, and three more back-end picks to move up and get a premier, top-of-the-class receiver.

And the fans likely would have loved it for the day, and then it wouldn’t have worked in the long term.

The Bears absolutely need to add more talent in the wide receiver room. And hell, who knows if you can even count on Cole Kmet to be a decent tight end at this point (we’ll see how he does in a new offensive system).

I think where the Bears erred was not nabbing a more established receiver in free agency prior to the draft. I’m not saying a Davante Adams, Tyreek Hill, or other uber-expensive guy on the market. But someone that could reliably be there for Fields to throw the ball to on every down. (Ironically, you could argue Allen Robinson fits the bill).

Now, there’s still time. There are a few free agents out there that could fit that bill, at least partially. Take Jarvis Landry, for example. He’s not a great wide receiver anymore, but in his age-30 season, he could still be that reliable target for Fields in tough spots.

There are other examples as well. While those receivers may not make sense from a three-year plan perspective, they really do, because part of that three-year plan is making sure your quarterback can develop without creating bad habits on the way, or getting killed.

You could also argue an established, free agent offensive lineman should have been in line this offseason. Of course they got Lucas Patrick from Green Bay — who I like a lot — but I understand the sentiment that filling out the edges of the line with sophomores and other inexperienced picks from the last two years isn’t exactly a perfect strategy when you have a 23-year-old, budding quarterback.

But fresh off the tenure of a GM in Pace that was so willing to make a splash — often to his detriment — I’m okay with a more conservative approach, at least in the first year, with a team that likely — likely doing a lot of work here — will not be any good.

Which takes us back to the draft, and the idea of viewing it in a vacuum. You can be mad at the holes that still exist on the roster, and also have respect for the draft process in its own right.

Round 2, Pick 39: CB Kyler Gordon, Washington

I was actually more familiar with Gordon’s counterpart in college, Trent McDuffie, who went to the Chiefs in the first round.

Gordon is likely going to be the Bears starter across from Jaylon Johnson on Day 1, and that fills a massive hole for the Bears. Essentially, the Bears were — if all goes as planned — able to rebuild a shoddy secondary in one day through the draft.

He never committed a penalty in college, which, to be honest, seems impossible. I’ve tried to fact check it a few times, and have given up. It seems to be true.

Having two young, productive corners that can man the defense for the next five years would be huge for this regime. If Gordon can play at a starter-level in 2022, that’s a massive win, despite what any wide receiver does.

There was plenty of first-round mocks on him, not that it matters a ton.

Johnson is also really good. But, as always, I’m obligated to put my concerns over his broken-down shoulders in here. But he is really good.

Round 2, Pick 48: S Jaquan Brisker, Penn State

Brisker would be my favorite pick of this Bears draft had he not gone to Penn State, where my roommate also attended. I’m obligated to not like him until he becomes more Bear than Nittany Lion for that fact alone.

Forget Mel Kiper, I couldn’t hear a word he was saying, as my roommate rambled like he was Todd McShay talking through the TV at Mel. So while I didn’t get to hear the actual draft analysts talk about this pick in real time, I can relay the the pseudo draft expert’s commentary: “This guy is a beast!”

Thank you roommate. I will also not be watching the show Severance, not because I’m not intrigued, but because he won’t shut the fuck up about it. So out of spite, I do miss out on a lot of little joys of life. But spite is one of the greatest joys of all.

Brisker looks to be another Day 1 starter, a natural fit next to Eddie Jackson.

Here’s what Mike Band from the NFL’s Next Gen Stats and Research had to say about Brisker post-draft:

The ideal NFL safety is multi-dimensional. He must be fast and instinctive enough to cover in space, while also possessing the strength, toughness and football smarts to diagnose and make plays in the box. Brisker fits the bill, offering tremendous value as a do-it-all safety on Day 2.

The Bears could be on their way to building the next great defense, with Matt Eberflus at the helm. This time, they’ll have a quarterback on the other side of the ball.

Round 3, Pick 71: WR Velus Jones Jr., Tennessee

Remember guys, you can’t like this pick, because he’s 25. That’s what all of the draft- and value-obsessed morons will tell you, at least.

This isn’t the NBA. You can’t have it both ways: do we want ready-to-roll weapons for Justin Fields or not?

Do we want a guy that ran a 4.31 40-yard dash, who was All Pac-12 at USC and All-SEC at Tennessee, as an option?

I’d say yes — and I stand by the rest of the 25-year-olds out there — the best is yet to come!

When youth is viewed as an upside — take James Daniels, for instance — it’s as if the guy is going to be a shoe-in for the Bears for the next decade. We still don’t know who Daniels may be, and he’s already on another team.

I’ll take a proven receiver in the third round who is fast as hell, even if he is eligible to rent a car.

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After getting plugging holes with their first three picks, and getting guys they really liked, the Bulls made the shrewd move of trading back, and back, and back to get as many stabs as possible in the crap shoot that is the later rounds of the draft.

I like the picks in the front end, and I like the process in the back end.

Now, we’ll just have to wait and see. Until then, you can rely on the moronic “draft grades” from everyone else.

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Being the former president of a fraternity is sort of like the doomsday scenario that every baby boomer used to parrot when you suggested that you may get a tattoo: Can you imagine what that’s going to look like when you’re older?

While I did once hold this prestigious position, I can assure you that no Elephant Walks were taking place under my watch, but it’s better to just not bring the topic up at all than to try to fight the losing we weren’t one of those fraternities battles.

Nevertheless, here I am bringing it up, and perhaps perjuring myself in the process.

I may or may not have been called into the Dean of Students office during my years helming the most important position in the state of Iowa. And it may or may not have been for some minor — I repeat, minor — code violations.

Well, akin to Donald Trump shaking hands with Kim Jung-Un and Americans declaring a cold-ish war with North Korea over, I walked out of the office thinking we were good to go — but we were indeed, not good to go.

Well, we were, at least until the “fraternity advisor” — an elderly man who was indirectly responsible for our chapter, who, to put things kindly, was not fit for the job — got involved.

As opposed to building on my fantastic interview with the Dean of Students, and just telling her everything was ‘okay’ down on fraternity row, he decided to evoke Shakespeare.

He went on to tell her that me being called in there reminded him of a play “Much a Do About Nothing,” and that the whole thing was a sham.

Let’s just say, the dean did not take kindly to that.

So, as I saw Zach LaVine’s comments spread wide on social media this past week, it reminded me of the Big Fella, or my former fraternity advisor (how they fill these positions, I do not know).

Here’s what LaVine said, on his impending unrestricted free agency:

"I understand the relationship I've had with AK and the last five years here, I hope the city understands how much I care about the Bulls. I'm going into everything open-minded but knowing how much I've enjoyed my time here."

This, of course, threw Bulls fans into a frenzy, and delighted brain-dead Lakers fans out in L.A. wherever the hell they live.

And here’s where I bring back in our friend Shakespeare — this is actually much to do about nothing.

He’s going into unrestricted free agency in the prime of his career. He will never make the money he’s going to make now ever again. The next time he gets to this point, he’ll likely be 32 and have 50% of the earning power he does now.

This is why some of you get 3% raises when inflation is at 9%. You ever heard of negotiation?

Jose Abreu is just about the only athlete who’s been endearing (and perhaps a bit dumb) enough to come out and just say he wants to play with the White Sox for the rest of his life no matter the contract he received.

Everyone else can’t just go into a free agency period — and won’t if they have a hawk-ish agent group like Klutch Sports, which LaVine does — waxing poetic about the organization they’re trying to extract hundreds of millions of dollars from.

Here is why Zach LaVine is going to stay with the Bulls:

— He’s truly grown up here. He’s been in Chicago since he was 22, and grown from a streaky scoring role player to a bonafide star. He’s grown beloved in the city in the meantime.

— The front office has finally put a team around him that can win. And they gave up lots of capital in the form of money and draft picks in order to do so, with him explicitly in mind. He knows that just like we do.

— The Bulls have a bright future ahead. They have talent, they have a good coach, they have stable management. They have the means to get better and, finally, free agents and trade prospects that once again want to come play basketball in Chicago.

— But forget everything I said above. This is really all that matters, and gets to the bottom of exactly what LaVine is angling towards with his comments: The Bulls can play LaVine $212 million over the next five years, according to Spotrac. In the former years, he’d be making close to $40 million annually, and in the latter, over that. If he went to any other team, the most they could offer him is five years, $157 million. That is an over $55 million difference. And that’s basically all you need to know. These things aren’t that complicated.

Now, if your question becomes: Is LaVine worth that?

He absolutely is. When healthy (he’s played the vast majority of games over the last two years at an extremely high level, if you disregard COVID-related absences), he’s one of the 20 or so best players in the league. That is worth a max contract yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

In addition to that, the salary cap will continue to rise — by nearly $9 million next year, and perhaps even more after that, once a new television deal kicks in.

Considering the TV money, LaVine’s contract (the $212 million with the Bulls) will likely not even look like an overpay in the more expensive years down the line, even when his production drops.

Plus, if you don’t sign LaVine, you’re simply losing him. That is bad business, even if you think LaVine sucks.

LaVine will be a Bull next year. And no, the Bulls are not signing and trading for Russell Westbrook and two first round draft picks from the Lakers that don’t materialize until the back-half of the decade. Everyone relax.

Much to do about nothing, but don’t tell the Dean of Students that.

LETS GO BULLS!

AP Photo/Jae C. Hong