Still Gotta Come Through Chicago

City of Losers

Happy Friday, Chicago!

I’m starting this one late, as I was watching the U.S. Presidential Debate closely, taking notes on my legal pad and murmuring “mmhmm” “yup” and “oooh good point” while keeping score.

Bron Bron! The gift that keeps on giving. His former podcast partner is now his head coach after a sufficient enough ass-kissing, and now his woefully unqualified son will join his NBA roster.

No doubt in my mind Bronny James Jr. fits in perfectly with the Lakers plan to win now. His four points per game last year at USC and 6’1 frame are plenty evidence of that.

Now, I’m an expert in nepotism. No, my douche bag dad hasn’t hired me and paid me millys. But I am a fan of Iowa football. And Billy Donovan’s son was just hired as the Bulls G-League Coach.

And though I’m an expert, I usually don’t really care that much about nepotism. It never surprises me. If 1.2 million words of nonsense in this newsletter turned me into a media mogul, and my son wanted a shot at the car keys, that’s no problem. I would harass him and tell him that he doesn’t got it like me, and that his pen is dry as hell, but I’d let him take the ink for a spin.

A trampoline, access to part of SGCTC’s fortune, and a blind eye when I hear a couple brewskis popping in the basement is all I promise my son.

Nepotism is rampant in American culture, because, well, people want to take care of their kids. LeBron wanted to play with his, and that doesn’t bother me. It’s everything else, it’s the nonsense flip-flopping.

LeBron wants us all to let his kid live so he can take his own path, right after he said for four years straight he wouldn’t retire until he played with him in the NBA. His agency, Klutch, doesn’t inappropriately intervene in normal NBA activity, we’re told. Except that Klutch CEO Rich Paul was calling teams and telling them not to draft Bronny today or else… And thus, he lands with the Lakers. Good for them, I hope they lose every game next year.

I stopped caring a long time ago whether people think LeBron is the GOAT or not.

That’s a lie. But I have stopped arguing with people when I’m drunk about it. And many people have been saying to me that “even though you won every single one of those arguments, you’ve shown great growth by moving on from that.” They all say it like that.

And I appreciate it, because it’s been a long and hard road. But I’ve officially started arguing with people about much more mature subjects, like whether or not I could kick Osama Bin Laden’s ass when he was living in Saudi Arabia in the 1980s.

I don’t mind if people think LeBron is the greatest basketball player ever. There’s a case. What I do care about is the people that think he’s a cool guy. If LeBron is on your screensaver, there’s just a really good chance you and I would never get along.

And that’s alright, we don’t all have to be friends. Dumb people have their place in the world, too. If there wasn’t dumb people, I wouldn’t be able to belittle them and artificially build my self confidence back up.

LeBron is the kind of guy that would set up shop in a gym right in front of the mirror and the dumbbell rack to do bicep curls. And then, mistakenly believe everyone glancing at themselves in the mirror was looking at him.

And his day is coming. I heard he couldn’t sleep last night following the Bulls picking Matas Buzelis, only a week after acquiring Josh Giddey. I couldn’t sleep either, kid. But that’s just because I had a little too much caffeine past noon.

Let’s get into it.

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Yet again, we kick things off at 1901 W Madison St. As sad as the Bulls are, their recent moves make them at least slightly more interesting than the Cubs and White Sox right now.

Before we get into the Bulls draft, though, I want to swing back to the Josh Giddey-Alex Caruso trade from last week. I think we covered the actual trade adequately, but we’ve gotten a few more hammers to nail my points home since then.

Remember that the Bulls could not extract one draft pick from the Thunder in that trade, and remember that the Thunder had 14-first round picks and 16 second-round picks at their disposal before 2030?

The most pro-Bulls theory goes like this: The Bulls got a young player they really liked, and the Thunder were unwilling to give up a pick in the exchange. It was still the best deal.

For a lot of reasons, that’s bullshit. But this is the best one: the Thunder turned around on draft night and traded FIVE second-round picks for the 26th overall pick in the first round.

To make matters worse, the Bulls don’t have a second-round draft pick until 2028. That would be mildly concerning for the Celtics. It’s far more concerning for the 39-win Bulls.

That’s okay, though, because Arturas Karnisovas said at his post-draft presser that he thought it was a “fair deal.” I can imagine Thunder GM Sam Presti ready to start offering picks after the players were figured out, and AK blurting out, “you know what, this seems like a fair deal” and reaching his hand out.

AK’s presser was brutal. He speaks like a guy giving a book report on a book he didn’t read in school. The only issue is that, in this case, he actually wrote the book.

He also assured us that “everything was on the table” and that he was “committed” to building a better roster. Sure hope so, man. That’s your job, but maybe you fairly thought people forgot.

Finally, he referenced Giddey’s 11 career triple doubles, like he was a Twitter user and not the president of one of the most famous basketball teams on planet earth.

It appears DeMar DeRozan will likely not be returning to the Bulls, which is good news. He does us no good at this point, and we do not need to overpay and outbid ourselves for the second time in DeRozan sweepstakes.

Rumors also suggest that the Bulls are looking to move Nikola Vucevic, which is hilarious. They paid him a $20 million/year contract before last year — no one else would have offered 75% of that deal to him — and will now have trouble getting rid of him.

What happened? Nothing, really. The Bulls won 40 games two years ago, and 39 games last year. There’s not much reasoning going into these decisions.

I’d love to get off Vuc, but can’t think of a single team that would willingly take that contract off the Bulls hands, unless another pick or solid player was attached.

But now, onto the draft pick: Matas Buzelis.

I… like it?

I used to love the idea of Chicago-born players coming to all my teams, but the Bulls have so abused this schtick that I now hate it (I liked the Jabari Parker deal :( ).

In this case, Buzelis is both Chicago-born and Lithuanian (as is Karnisovas). That’s a bad double whammy.

But, with all that said, I think picking him at no. 11 is a very solid outcome of this year’s draft. Buzelis expressed that he wanted to be here, and plus, he was projected in a lot of places to go top 5.

Buzelis grew up in Hinsdale. He went to Hinsdale Central, but ended up playing his high school-aged ball elsewhere due to COVID-19 restrictions in Illinois.

He was a 5-star, top-rated recruit heading into last year, but opted to play for the G League Ignite in lieu of going to college.

The Ignite are basically a team that pays players that otherwise would have been in college. The idea is to get those players as NBA-ready as possible. There, he averaged 14.3 points, 6.9 rebounds, and 2.1 blocks per game. He’s long — 6’9 with a 6’10 wingspan — but only weighs 200 pounds. One of the first things he mentioned he needed to improve was his strength, which should come easily. He has the frame to add onto.

He only shot 26% from three last year in the G-League, but I don’t think he’s far away from becoming a capable shooter. He shot 43% from three in his final year in high school.

The Ringer’s Kevin O’Connor compared him to Franz Wagner and Lamar Odom, both of which seem like fair comparisons. He’s the kind of player the Bulls have not had in a long time. He’s young, super talented, and will likely be able to stretch the floor for the Bulls on offense while also protecting the rim on defense.

His highlights are awesome, but probably a bit misleading. I think he’ll show flashes his rookie year, but there will be plenty of speed bumps.

The Bulls are betting on the talent with this one, and Buzelis seems like he has the disposition to get a lot better — and quickly. Unfortunately, I am very excited about this pick. That means I will be watching the 23-47 Bulls on Friday night next year.

With Giddey and Buzelis, the Bulls have already gotten a lot younger. But both of those guys, currently, cannot shoot.

What that leads me to believe is that the Bulls are putting a ton of faith in their shooting coach, Peter Patton, who they hired last year. Patton seems to have already worked his magic in a few places.

Namely, Alex Caruso, who shot over 40% from three last year on nearly five attempts per game, by far his best year from behind the arc. Ayo Dosunmu also shot over 40% from three last year on four attempts per game, which was also a massive leap for him.

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I ended the last newsletter by striking an optimistic tone on the Cubs’ path forward.

They are are 2-6 since, and are now 18-32 since the start of May.

Games wreak of desperation, with double steals, bunts, and ill-advised efforts to reach home on shallow singles.

Justin Steele has a 3.08 ERA in 64 innings pitched and has not logged a win yet this year. Kyle Hendricks has even come around in his last two starts, but the Cubs could not eek out a win after his last 7 inning, 2-run start in San Fransisco.

The Cubs don’t hit well generally, but they’re also awful in clutch hitting situations. That’s evident to anyone who subjects themselves to the games, but to provide some data, they are batting .217 with runners in scoring position. That is nearly dead last in the league. But the White Sox are hitting .202.

For those calling for Jed Hoyer’s head, I totally understand.

I think Hoyer’s cutesy plan has been misguided, and this year going worse than last year thus far is squarely on his shoulders.

Hopefully it’s a wake up call, for this year and for the offseason.

But there’s also zero chance he’s going anywhere. He has a longtime relationship with Ricketts at this point, and Ricketts likes the guys that got him a World Series. He especially likes the guys that try to win without breaking his bank. Hoyer checks all of those boxes.

I mainly feel bad for Craig Counsell, who appears to have aged a presidency in three months.

I do still think the Cubs will improve, but they do not deserve to be floating around those Wild Card spots right now.

But, man, I do need them to tease me and pick things up in July. Please. I have nothing else.

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The Sox are 22-61, the worst record by far in all of baseball. And yet somehow, they beat Chris Sale yesterday in a game where he had 11 strikeouts and gave up one run in seven innings.

Last week, Paul DeJong got doubled off after sprinting for some reason on a fly ball with one out. Truly, one of the most insane things I’ve ever seen in a major league baseball game.

The Sox would be entertaining in a disgusting kind of way, if only it wasn’t for John Schriffen. I just can’t take the guy serious enough to enjoy the games for what they’re worth.

The win against the Braves was a big one, though. The Sox are now just on pace to win more games than the 40-120 1962 Mets, the worst team ever in the 162-game era.

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Thank you for reading another edition of Still Gotta Come Through Chicago. I really appreciate it. Comment below.