Still Gotta Come Through Chicago

The MLB Season and NBA Playoffs Are Upon Us

Good morning Chicago! Welcome back to the newsletter. My apologies for the prolonged time away.

Since we’ve been away, the Bulls clinched a playoff berth and blew past their over/under win total, I pondered long and hard over whether I hated or loved Coach K, a new NCAA champion was crowned, the Cubs signed the no. 1 Japanese prospect, the Bulls began sucking, the Ricketts — amidst recovering from their ‘biblical losses’ — tried to buy one of the most popular soccer teams in the world from a Russian oligarch, and the Sox fanbase threw a collective tantrum and then build itself back up.

The last item, of course, gives no real good timeframe, as a quarter of the Sox fanbase is best described as a schizophrenic drove of pigs that should never be wrestled or reasoned with. The said tantrum and subsequent build up could have taken only a matter of hours with that crew.

We’re blessed as sports fans to have had a supremely entertaining NCAA tournament immediately followed by a new baseball season, one that will hopefully be completely devoid of COVID-19 as the NCAA tournament was. Oh, and The Masters as well.

But for my guys and gals that lack talking points at the bar, the end of the NCAA tournament is tough.

Other than the Super Bowl, it’s about the most monolithic topic of conversation left in American society. Not being able to ramble about your nonsensical bracket is a tough loss, and I empathize with that (not really), so I came up with a little guide for this weekend for you.

Here are a few gimmes to get you prepared:

— You see what’s going on in Ukraine? That’s crazy. Maybe throw in a bro-y, I-love-warfare-because-I’m-thousands-of-miles-away-from-it fact about Russian tanks exploding or something. Just maybe stay away from civilians being executed.

— Man I always forget, April weather sucks too! When the cat’s got your tongue, you always can rely on the great outdoors.

— You’ve run out of time on the Will Smith/Chris Rock stuff, sorry. Statute of limitations expired on that one while I was away, and I’m glad I was away, because I apparently have some hot takes on that situation. (Anyone that is that upset about someone being slapped should lose their right to vote, and I’ll leave it at that. Actually, I may extend this to anyone that was watching the Oscars live — I’ll get back to you).

— You looking to cross racial lines? No problem. You see Tiger is playing this weekend? This one is actually mainly for black people trying to talk to white people: nothing, and I mean NOTHING, gets white people riled up more than generally optimistic Tiger Woods news.

I had a professor once suggest criticism of Tiger Woods cheating on his wife conservatively 4,000 times came from a place of inherent racism. I had to raise my hand and interject. ‘Professor, you must not spend a lot of time around middle- to older-aged white guys.’ If they were given the pass to kill one baby to keep them from reaching adulthood, they’d kill that Perkins waitress who spilled the tea on Tiger to People Magazine over baby Hitler. No doubt in my mind. (I left this part out when addressing my professor.)

There you go — now you can go out with any social anxiety whatsoever. You’re welcome.

As for me, I’ve been workshopping some new lines to drop on people, not to get into conversation, but instead, to get out of it.

Forget all of this “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” nonsense. I’m going to start dropping the “yeah, I’m socially conservative, fiscally liberal.” Feel like that could get me out of a lot of conversations I don’t want to be in.

Positioning myself as a communist bigot may be a problem in the long term, but in the short term, it’s a good tool in case I already used my “I’ve gotta go to the bathroom pass.” Any thoughts?

I’ll workshop that one as well and report back. Again, welcome back!

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Now, as for the sports happenings that are most relevant to this newsletter, the Bulls, unfortunately, are no longer very good.

As for the playoffs, which they have officially made, I would give them about a 10% chance of winning a series. And as of this writing, that seems generous.

Over the course of the last month or so, the Bulls are statistically one of the worst teams in the NBA. We all know their defense has gotten worse by the month since the beginning of the season, but what’s gone under the radar is how badly the offense has struggled.

There are reasons for this that are excusable, but others that are more inexcusable. Either way, they are likely to finish with about 46 wins. That’s three to four games more than Vegas expected them to win, and just about two short of where I had them at in the preseason.

So how do you evaluate this Bulls season? It’s not over, so I’ll refrain from a complete eulogy right now.

But, if you zoom out, the Bulls have had a good season. They are returning to the playoffs for the first time in a half decade. They’ve exceeded most people’s expectations and all of their free agent signings worked out.

If I were to tell you before the season that the Bulls would win 45-48 games and end up as a 5 or 6 seed, you likely would have been thrilled.

The issue is that, the same people that underestimated the Bulls prior to the season also quickly overestimated them after their hot start. The Bulls were likely never a championship-level team. They certainly flirted with “contender” status, but at no point did their play suggest they were ready to take on the Phoenix Suns in a 7-game series.

And there’s a reason for that. The Suns are ahead of the Bulls on their rebuilding timeline, which has obviously been completed and then some. The Bulls, in some ways, are victims of their own great play.

Just because they outperformed at the outset doesn’t mean their struggles afterward should define the season.

And it has to be mentioned in any conversation about this season: They materially changed when Alex Caruso and Lonzo Ball went out. Their defense absolutely plummeted, as did all of the corresponding statistics, such as steals, turnovers forced, deflections and points allowed.

Caruso returned, and is still clearly dealing with the effects of his injury. He’s been awful offensively since his return, and even a guy that plays that level of defense is a net neutral or more likely a net negative with the limitations he has there right now.

Patrick Williams also returned, who has played very well over the past few games. His performance last night against the Bucks was a sole bright spot (excluding DeRozan’s performance, which has become the norm), similar to Jon Gruden’s all-time line dubbing Roger Goodell an “anti-football pussy” amongst other horrific emails.

Williams, since Billy Donovan instructed him to be more assertive, has been great. That’s a smaller sample size, but he’s clearly getting better by the game, something I wish could have happened in October and not April.

(What’s especially disappointing is that these players weren’t injured due to just playing basketball. Each was deliberately slammed out of the air by a defender, resulting in two broken wrists.)

Williams, though, was never going to be a true difference maker before he even notched 100 NBA games under his belt.

And Lonzo Ball’s defense was only part of his loss. The Bulls also lost their best — and most frequent — three point shooter next to LaVine. That’s resulted in the Bulls shooting and making less threes than almost any team in the league.

At that point, it becomes simple math. If your opponent is shooting and making a lot more threes than you, it’s likely that more often than not they will have more points than you at the end of the game.

DeRozan is great, but without being able to capitalize off of his dish-outs to guys on the perimeter, his impact can only go so far.

Then, we have Zach LaVine’s knee issue, which has manifested itself in a lot of different ways. His jump shot is off, he’s routinely missing free throws, his game is a lot less fluid. It’s clear he hasn’t learned how to play without thinking about that knee.

And that’s another reason why that 10% chance of winning a series is as low as it is. LaVine, in my mind, is still probably the Bulls most important player come playoff time. Teams will find ways to double DeRozan, which frankly, he isn’t great at dishing out of. It’s far harder to double LaVine due to his athleticism and the scoring range he has.

Even when LaVine has played well over the last month, it’s usually been isolated to one half or another — usually the second.

With Ball likely missing the rest of the season, thanks to constant discomfort in his knee as he tries to “ramp things up,” the Bulls don’t have a savior walking through that door.

Unless something major changes over the course of the next two weeks, that’s the reality of the situation.

Now, all that being said, if you think I’m not going to be losing my fucking mind in the United Center in Round 1, convincing myself we can win the NBA championship, having turned the corner after going up 10-6 in the first few minutes of Game 3 after being down 2-0, you’re an idiot.

This is a weird realization I came to today, but I’ve actually never attended a Bulls playoff game. I will be this year, and honestly, that’s an awesome consolation prize. And, considering the fact that the Bulls made me pay for tickets all the way up to the championship, with any “unrealized game money” being “put toward next year,” I’m banking on the most improbable championship run of a lifetime.

As for the opponent I would most like to see, it’s tough. This isn’t LeBron’s eastern conference anymore, meaning, there’s actually a lot of really good teams to get through.

The Celtics have looked like the ‘96 Bulls over the last few months. The Bucks are probably the best team in the East. The Heat have too many good players, beat the shit out of us every time we play them, and if Max Strus hits another three against the Bulls I’ll lose my mind. The Sixers, well, Joel Embiid has literally never lost to the Bulls.

So that leaves the Celtics. Although they have been one of the two best teams in the entire league basically for months now, they just lost the lynchpin of their defense, Robert Williams. Without the big fella — boy, do we struggle with big fellas — they logically are the best matchup.

Will we probably lose? Yeah. But that 10% shot we’ve got of ending a Boston team’s season is enough to get me frothing at the mouth.

Then, now, and forever: LETS GO BULLS!

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It feels good to place that clean header back atop a section in the newsletter.

The Sox gain the top baseball spot in the newsletter for the foreseeable future, as they are far and away the more interesting — and better — team heading into this season.

Last year was the trial run. This year is full go.

Is there anything better than entering a summer full of promise as a baseball fan? I haven’t felt that in a long time.

The Sox ‘holes’ were the subject of the offseason, but the reason why those holes seemed so pronounced is because of how talented they are overall. For instance, the Cubs technically have a lot of glaring holes, but no one gives a shit because they likely won’t be all that good.

As the aforementioned onslaught of overreactions that came from the loud minority — at least I hope it’s a minority — of Sox fans this offseason regarding their moves (or lack thereof), I tried to put myself in Rick Hahn’s shoes.

Somehow, Hahn has pulled off winning deal after winning deal over the last few years — with of course a handful of exceptions — and yet, he is criticized for any lull in activity more than he is heralded for what he does pull off.

If we can all agree that Jerry Reinsdorf is a problem owner, a guy that doesn’t love investing all that much in his teams, why do we place blame on the guy handicapped by him when that manifests itself?

It makes no sense to me. And when the Sox pulled off the fantastic deal of trading the recently inconsistent Craig Kimbrel for A.J. Pollock, if I were Hahn, I would have stood up at the lectern with both of my middle fingers pointed as high as they could go.

The deal not only got rid of Kimbrel, who was awful for the Sox last year, but filled a need — with a really good player!

Pollock has not played right field at all of late, but he is an outfielder, and that’s more than you can say for a lot of the other options that were being thrown out there before.

He’s also had an above average OPS in every year in which he’s played more than 50 games.

At the same time, he’s only played over 100 games in five of the ten seasons he’s been in the MLB. That should be fine, as the Sox already have the options we all grew to assume they’d be using without Pollock.

As for his fielding, he’s definitely not going to be a great outfielder. But he sure as shit has more experience out there than other guys, and he likely won’t be running into any walls and tearing his pec on the way.

Getting rid of Kimbrel also has zero effect on a bullpen that was already good, but got even better. The Joe Kelly and Kendall Graveman additions make up for the loss there that will come from Michael Kopech moving into the starting rotation.

An argument can absolutely be made that when the Sox do spend money, they tend to spend it in the wrong places. For instance, the only move they made on the starting pitching side of things, basically, was to bring in an aging Johnny Cueto.

(Signing Joe Kelly should be heralded no matter what the cost or situation, however.)

That’s contrasted with the millions of dollars they spent in the bullpen, and more in line with the routes they took to fill their other holes at second base and right field with Josh Harrison and Pollock.

The rebuttal, then, would be that Harrison and Pollock have both been productive players in their careers and are fine additions for a team already with plenty of firepower at the plate.

Having said that, letting Carlos Rodon go without extending a qualifying offer at the very least was… curious. At the worst, stupid and problematic.

I was not exactly bullish on Rodon putting together more seasons like the one he had last year, but either way, his absence does considerably take away from the Sox rotation.

The key will be health: Lance Lynn is already out for at least a month with a knee injury. Garrett Crochet just had Tommy John surgery. Michael Kopech has certainly struggled with injuries throughout his career.

And that’s just on the pitching side of things, though there’s no possible way that the injury luck that plagued the Sox last year could repeat itself. Right?

The other thing I would worry about is Jose Abreu’s decline surfacing this year. His productivity dipped slightly last year (with the caveat being that he was MVP the prior year) and he’s logged a lot of innings at first base. It’ll be interesting to see if the Sox can convince the stubborn Abreu to load manage a bit this season — and to see if the Robert’s, Moncada’s, and Jimenez’s of the world can pick up the slack to cover for any losses there.

That should be no problem theoretically. Luis Robert is in preseason MVP talks already. Robert finally will have the chance to showcase his power, in his prime, for (hopefully a full season). Moncada, barring three to four injuries jogging to first base, has the capability to be an MVP-level player.

The Sox have an embarrassment of riches, if everything goes the right way.

My caution would be to not overreact to any early-season struggles. The bats will find their way by May, and the team will look fuller then.

Similar to last year, winning the AL Central should not be a tough ask for this team, meaning they can afford some bad stretches. The Royals won’t be good, the Tigers will be better but certainly not great, the Twins signed one asshole and have little-to-no-pitching, and the Guardians spent less money in free agency than I did at the grocery store Sunday.

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This header still fits, despite the recognition that a new era of Cubs baseball is upon us.

The old Cubs all got their new deals this offseason, and either got less money than the Cubs had once offered them or got close to even.

The Ricketts told me to write that.

You should never, ever get rid of a player like Javier Baez if you don’t have to. I’ll take that to my grave. At the same time, those old faces — as a collective — grew tired on the North Side.

The Cubs likely won’t be great this year, but there are things I’m excited for.

If the same-ish team was around, I wouldn’t be excited. The reason why the Cubs were so frustrating over the last few years is that they showed signs of being good, but ultimately hit the same pitfalls over and over. And the same guys were on the team, so that intensified the struggles.

It’s not the fresh start we would have hoped for, in terms of how things went down and where this team is right now.

And many of the prospects that the Cubs got in return for their former All-Stars are still closer to their senior proms than to playing in the major leagues.

Rid of expectations, and the hope that the Cubs core would be the Cubs core again, a pathway to an exciting season is budding.

— Brennen Davis, the Cubs no. 1 prospect, will likely make his debut this year in the major leagues. Davis is going to be a stud.

— Seiya Suzuki is going to be electric to watch. He’s a proven professional player, yet we’ve never seen him in the states. There’s nothing that gets me going like a Japanese baseball prospect. And, to that point, if you are comparing this to Kosuke Fukudome, I have a few things to say to you:

1. Comparing two prospects because they’re from the same country is idiotic. By that logic, the Angels should have passed on Shohei Ohtani.

2. Fukudome’s opening day home run was one of the best baseball days of my life.

3. Fukudome wasn’t actually bad. He started off very hot, sort of like the Bulls, and then played terribly the rest of his first year. But — and this is forgotten — he actually had two pretty good seasons after that. He had an OPS 5% above league average the next year, and one 17% above that marker the year after. Time has not been fair to Fukudome.

4. But I’m getting off track. Suzuki was the best prospect out of Japan. He seems like an awesome personality, and hit a couple bombs already in Spring.

5. Let’s be happy the Cubs spent some sort of significant money this offseason. And given they didn’t do all that much elsewhere, it’s clear they have confidence in Suzuki.

— Marcus Stroman is one of the most electric pitchers in all of baseball. I cannot wait to watch him at Wrigley. I love Kyle Hendricks and love Stroman, but that 1-2 punch could not be more of a dichotomy. The pitching staff, overall, may actually be pretty solid.

— Nick Madrigal was my favorite White Sox player last year. He’s a baseball player’s baseball player. Hopefully Nico Hoerner can get a full year under his belt at shortstop as well.

— Despite many of those aforementioned prospects being still far away from the majors, the Cubs have plenty of young arms that will be intriguing to follow this year. Justin Steele and Adbert Alzolay (so long as he’s healthy) are two, in particular.

— Frankie Schwindel

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The weather app is playing tricks on all of us, showing glimmers of hope in the 10-day outlook and then taking it away. Regardless, better weather and better times are ahead. (See: Topic of conversation no. 2).

In a few weeks, short sleeve shirts will fit the bill, the NBA playoffs will be in full swing, and a full, legitimate, MLB baseball season will be played.

There’s so much to look forward to, my fellow Chicagoans. Thanks for spending time with me today, and I hope you spend time with me throughout the NBA playoffs and throughout the MLB season.

And congrats to Marian Hossa on his official retirement with the Chicago Blackhawks.

Say it with me… STILL GOTTA COME THROUGH CHICAGO!