Still Gotta Come Through Chicago

Fun Facts, and the Future

Happy Friday Chicago!

I started a new job last week. And with a new job comes a new fun fact to share with the rest of the group. Fuck me.

A fun fact about me is that, um, well — I didn’t know this until now — but I absolutely suck. I can’t think of anything. My hands are balmy and I hate myself. I don’t know, I’m bald. I like the Bulls. I don’t do anything interesting. I’m worthless, I guess. Nothing to write home about and nothing to talk here about. Anyways, I’m excited to be here and looking forward to getting started!

As for what I actually did say, I honestly can’t remember. I blacked out. The fun fact conundrum lasts beyond college, it appears. Last week, I compared Matt Eberflus’ press conferences to someone trying to give a fun fact about themselves on their first day of class.

In retrospect, I was comparing him to me.

Work started on Monday, January 20th, which happened to be Martin Luther King Jr. Day. I had work, but others did not, including my parents. Therefore, they kindly offered a ride to the job on the first day. Avoiding the commute and getting there exactly at the time I wanted to sounded like a good deal.

I sort of figured one or the other would take on the duty, but both wanted to be a part of the fun. The drawback of having great, caring parents is that it’s extremely lame.

Five minutes in, they started lightly arguing about the directions, and at nearly 30 years old and sitting in the back seat, I felt like throwing food, screaming, shitting my pants, and then telling them I forgot my baseball cleats at home.

The encouragement and the ride were still appreciated. But with new beginnings comes the reminder that things have always been roughly the same.

My parents drove me to work, and I got out of the car without a good luck beep on the horn or a kiss on the head.

I shoved down the urge to have a fit in the presence of my parents, who were acting as my chauffeurs, I stared into the abyss as I searched for a single interesting fact about myself (i LiKE piZzA), and then my entire mood turned around at night because of a hire the Chicago Bears made. The first day back from winter break in fourth grade and a new job at 29 years old were eerily similar.

It’s easy to focus on what’s gotten worse over a 20-year period — individually, societally, and in sports. What’s much harder for the human brain to consider is what is so much better.

Here are just a few examples of those things that are better, for the sake of the exercise.

— No more home phones. What an awful and ridiculous mainstay in American life. Every person in the house was a victim to a phone call for anyone. No calls during dinner time was a standard rule not too long ago. That feels like a lifetime away, however. Riiiiiiiiing. MOOOOM! IT’S FOR YOU! “Tell her I’m not home.”

— The Cubs as the “lovable losers.” They had plenty of good teams in the 108 years between their World Series wins. But for the deceased who just missed the 2016 championship, it would be hard for them to imagine that the fan base is peeved and borderline livid about the current state of the team less than a decade after a World Series win. This is not to suggest fans don’t have a right to be mad, but more of a reflection on how much positive change has occurred.

— Osama Bin Laden is dead. While the TikTok heads (CCPs) are imbedded in controlled demolition theory, I’m grateful ol’ Bin Laden is no longer with us. He dominated my brain in childhood, as I was forced to passively hear from him and about him on news broadcasts that somehow penetrated the homes of nearly every American household each night. I remember shooting hoops and thinking, “If I make these next four shots, Bin Laden is defeated.” Years later, I collected. Thank the Navy Seals, but maybe also me.

— Though I do yearn for some of the monoculture that has been lost since the turn of the century, the ability to watch any television show or movie on demand as I get comfy cozy on a Friday night is undeniably a sign of human progress. Maybe even more so than all of the cancer care advancements combined.

Warped memories will convince almost all of us that the past was better as time goes on, but a few shifts in life as we know it could override that powerful narcotic that is nostalgia.

I’ve been considering that this week as I again get lost in daydreams that act as a drawing board for these musings, and as I take the bird’s eye view on the Bears.

It’s not hard for our more senior readers to consider what Chicago is like as the Bears roll to double-digit win seasons multiple years in a row. But for those of us still searching for fun facts (I LiKe tO ReAd), it’s almost inconceivable.

Remember when we weren’t glued to our phones? How about Blockbuster? What about when you hung out with your friends whenever you wanted, and the only stressor was eating family dinner quickly enough to escape into the wonder of the outside world past dark?

All of those pensive thoughts could be wiped away with a Ben Johnson and Caleb Williams-led turnaround. I believe that.

In 2055, we may miss our brains without malfunctioning microchips, or when marriages weren’t arranged by artificial intelligence. We’ll miss our loved ones who have moved to the other side.

But if the Bears turn into something unBearlike, we’ll live with all of that, won’t we?

My Amazon Alexa will kill itself after I talk its receptors off all night about the way the Bears used to be, and after I request Bear Down, Chicago Bears one more time before bed.

Alexa continually let local authorities know — against my permission — that I am seemingly unstable, but when help arrives they find me alone, happy as a clam, with pizza boxes and wing buckets scattered around, and Super Bowl Trophy replicas positioned next to the projector that covers the entire wall of my main room.

I’m looking forward to that.

Because when our football team has a genuine chance to turn over a new leaf, there’s always something to look forward to.

No policy, government aid, or reduction in crime can raise the collective floor — or ceiling — of the city like the Bears can.

Today, I’m thinking of a world where, like the Cubs, the Bears are an unexpected out. And perhaps the Bulls will get there too.

Now it’s time to exit yet another idealistic daydream, and turn to a more rambunctious state of mind. We’ve got a lot to get into.

Let’s go.

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To be fair, I’m so intoxicated by Ben Johnson (that I’m daydreaming constantly about him, the future, and the past — see above), that anyone he hired to join his staff here in Chicago probably would have been met with praise.

From an objective view point, though, I think it’s been a slam dunk so far. And that’s the first step in this war we’re now ready to fight.

Step 1. The Quarterback Step 2. The Coach Step 3. The Coaches Step 4: The Trenches.

We’re 75% of the way there.

The first hire was Antwaan Randle El, who will serve as the wide receivers coach and assistant head coach. Randle El grew up 20 miles south of Soldier Field, and went onto become an Indiana football legend, and then Super Bowl Champion will the Steelers.

He began his coaching career with the Bucs in 2019-2020, and has been with the Lions as the wide receivers coach since. It’s probably not worth breaking down how good Lions receivers were under him (they were great), but it is worth pointing out his demeanor.

Every Lions game I watched, I was impressed with how Randle El approached his receivers on the sideline, particularly after an error in judgement. Jameson Williams, specifically, often drew the ire of Randle El, but always seemed to correct his behavior after the fact. Williams strikes me as a guy that will take a mile if he’s given an inch, and Randle El strikes me as the guy who draws the line.

Is that something we may need in Chicago? Across the board, yes. But D.J. Moore needs a kick in his ass now and again to remind him he plays football for a living. Rome Odunze looked like a raw talent last year that had never played football before. Randle El — and of course Johnson — will play a vital role in getting Odunze to a level we haven’t seen from him yet.

Given Johnson’s general demeanor, which commands respect but doesn’t exactly scare people, it’s good to have ex-player, ass kickers behind him. Randle El is one of them.

Dennis Allen as defensive coordinator could not be a more perfect fit. Allen is a two-time failed head coach. He’s not getting another head job, for one. He, too, could be here for the next five to 10 years.

Despite failing at that level, it’s always nice to have a guy with lessons learned from the head spot behind the new guy. He’s not just a defensive coordinator, he’s a board to bounce things off of. He’s a stabilizing force.

Most importantly, he’s a damn good coach. Under Sean Payton’s Saints teams, Allen turned an awful defense that the offense could barely keep pace with into one of the league’s best.

Allen was first a positional coach with the Saints during their Super Bowl win (another Super Bowl winner on staff), and then left to become the Broncos defensive coordinator before grabbing the Raiders’ head coaching job. He failed at the Raiders job, just like every single other man who has been hired in the same role over the last 20 years.

He then returned to the Saints, and got to work on turning that defense around.

In 2015, the Saints were dead last in the league in points allowed. In his last year as defensive coordinator, they were 4th and got jobbed out of a trip to the Super Bowl. His units steadily improved over the six-year stint, and were top-5 in his last two years.

He has better accolades as a coordinator than Matt Eberflus did, which means the Bears are getting two coaches in the new year more qualified to lead the team than the previous leader.

Allen did nothing for me as a head coach, and likely never had what it took. To be honest, I like my defensive guys to be defensive guys, anyway. I like my defensive guys with food on their shirts, dips in their mouths, and no time to talk to the media.

But to be fair to him, he was also hired by the 2010s Raiders (one of the most dysfunctional situations in all of sports) and the post-Payton Saints (a rudderless team without a QB in cap hell). He didn’t exactly get the best shots at it.

Either way, he doesn’t have to be that guy now. He just has to take a relatively talented defense, along with some newcomers, and turn them into a top-10 unit to match Johnson on the offensive side. I think he will.

Now onto the offensive coordinator, Declan Doyle.

It could have been me that took down Osama Bin Laden with my jump shot. I also could have been the next Bears offensive coordinator.

Doyle is a 2018 graduate of THE University of Iowa. Class of ‘18, MOUNT UP!

I wonder if he, too, graduated with honors? But that’s besides the point.

What is the point is that Johnson decided to go with an up-and-comer, meaning that his hands will — of course — be all over the offense. Meanwhile, we could have the next offensive young gun on our hands.

Iowa and offense. Haha. You’re so funny.

Firstly, I’ll have you know that, when Doyle was an offensive student assistant at Iowa from 2016-2018, Iowa’s offense was more than fine. In fact, in 2018, they ranked 44th in scoring in the entire country — 31.2 points per game!

Doyle immediately joined Sean Payton’s staff in New Orleans, where he became an offensive assistant for four years.

I’ll stop here briefly. This also means that there’s some cohesion to this staff. There’s Johnson and his guys, including Randle El, as well as Dennis Allen and Doyle, who were together in New Orleans. Richard Hightower will also continue as a special teams coordinator, but we’ll get there.

Doyle impressed Payton enough that he brought him to Denver, where the former spent two years as the tight ends coach. He’s young, but has also spent over half a decade under one of the best offensive minds in modern NFL history.

Even if the Bears (this is hard to say) become a dominant offense, he’ll have a hard time becoming a head coach in short order. If he does, good, that means the Bears will finally be losing coaches for the right reasons. And, they won’t lose out on the brains behind the operation in Johnson. If he doesn’t, we’ll maintain the majority of the staff for a long period — even better.

As mentioned above, Richard Hightower is staying on as the Bears special teams coordinator. The fourth phase was the best and brightest for the Bears this past season, but the third phase ended up just behind it. Special teams were the reason the Bears beat the Packers for the first time in a long time in Week 18, and I always appreciate a coach that’s willing to keep a holdover on staff.

It’s hard to not view every subsequential move without rose-colored glasses, but it’s also hard to think about those hires and not believe that everything is falling into place from the top down.

The top head coaching candidate. The top defensive coordinator candidate, arguably. Multiple coaches who have worked together, plus one holdover.

Let’s keep going, let’s build a future unrecognizable from our past.

#BEARDOWN

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Welcome back to the newsletter, Chicago Bulls.

Perhaps some of the shake-ups around Chicago have got the Bulls ready for a shake-up that is long overdue. They’ve already tripped and stumbled out of the gates to their “rebuild,” but the trade deadline is next week, which means they have a chance — like the Bears — to potentially fail forward into something better than purgatory.

Keep in mind that the Bulls, inexplicably, have not made a trade deadline move since 2021! Hopefully Arturas Karnisovas set his alarm this year.

Already, the Bulls have missed on what was ostensibly the goal this year: to bottom out and get a game-changing player in the draft. They may not lose their first-round pick to the Spurs (it is top-10 protected), but they are likely to be in the same middling tier of the draft, as they’re prone to middle at everything.

I have been pounding the drum to trade Zach LaVine for three years now (and even longer, really, outside of one season). Karnisovas is extremely skilled at trading players too late. He didn’t trade DeMar DeRozan, and got virtually nothing for him in a sign-and-trade. He didn’t trade LaVine when he could have, and actually decided to re-sign Nikola Vucevic to a $20 million/year deal when no one else was offering $12 million.

The only player he traded early was Lauri Markkanen, who promptly became an All-Star.

To LaVine’s credit, he has returned to form this year. Despite my feelings towards LaVine’s decision making, his trade “demand,” his agent, and his injury history, he’s actually become underrated by the general public. There are guys just like LaVine (or worse) who are touted as top-20 players.

He is a very efficient scorer, and this year, he’s actually impacting winning (or trying to). The Bulls are far better (+10.1) when LaVine is on the court this year versus off of it. He’s scoring 24 points per game on 51% shooting, while shooting nearly 45% from behind the arc. His 24-5-5 is about what Tyler Herro is posting, and the latter was just named to the All-Star team (with worse efficiency).

Because the Bulls waited so long to trade LaVine, however, they’re in between a rock and a hard place. Plenty of teams likely want LaVine, but the new cap structure means not a ton of room to fit him. It’s hard to make contracts match in a trade that makes sense for the Bulls.

I’ve read some suggestion that the Bulls should wait again and hold onto him until demand rises (and space clears) again. I disagree.

LaVine is always a game away from his stock tumbling again with a lower-body injury. Rip the Band-Aid off, even if the return is laughable, and move on. Find the next team that’s going to get you into contention. LaVine is not a part of that.

Nor is Vucevic, who has also somehow been playing out of his mind this year. Vuc is averaging 20 and 10. But most surprising is that he is shooting 40% from three, a year after he was the worst high-volume three-pointer shooter in the entire league.

Vuc is still good, and still old. If a team wants him, they can have him. He, LaVine, and a play-in berth does nothing for the Bulls. Now or later.

And, the same goes for Lonzo Ball. What could have been. I’m happy for him, he’s back and playing effectively in the minutes he’s been given. Any smart team would want him, even in a limited role, and he’s also one more injury away from never being worth any sort of return again.

After that, of course the Bulls should listen to trade offers for others.

Coby White is on a hell of a deal, but he’s also young and good. Young and good is what the Bulls should be aiming for. There’s no rush to trade him unless someone wants to come through with multiple first round picks and a young player with some sort of future.

If that’s not there, Karnisovas should try to usher White into the next era as one of the few “wins” he’s notched during his time here, even though he didn’t draft him. Keep Ayo Dosunmu, too.

Out with the old, in with the new.

The Chicago Bulls are still not widely available to watch in 2025.

Remember this one? LETS GO BULLS!

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The calendar will officially turn to February tomorrow, which means I’ll have to stop procrastinating on my Cubs (and Sox) thoughts and get something down here.

It’s coming, I promise. Hopefully more transactions materialize in the next few weeks so we can get a fuller picture of how excited to be for April.

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Thank you for reading another edition of Still Gotta Come Through Chicago! I’ll see you next week, my friends. Get someone new to subscribe to the newsletter today. Comment below.