Good morning Chicago!
As you may have noticed I changed the title of the newsletter for the first time ever to try to trick this algorithm into letting this newsletter into your inboxes. If I’m getting you for the first time in a while, glad to have you back — next time, drag me out of your other tab and into your primary inbox.
Today’s newsletter is a bonus. Let’s do it.
Happy Friday — grab your cup of coffee, spend 8 minutes with me here, and I’ll get you ready for your weekend. Hello, Week 0 of the college football season.
It looks like Kanye is still not out performing at Soldier Field as of this writing, 9:55 p.m. I can’t tell yet if I’m jealous or not about not being there. But I generally do feel that concerts where you don’t know the words to every song can be kind of tough.
It’s like when the opener to a band is on and it’s still light out. The crowd is sparse, no one is quite intoxicated enough to enjoy random music and there’s something awkward about people passionately playing music to a bunch of people who aren’t paying attention to them or just entering the venue.
Or alternatively, when you’re at a rap concert and you’re sitting there as random music plays and some guy occasionally says CHICAGO! and then you can easily spot the drunk people who will be out of there on stretchers by who responds WOOOOO! back to the guy.
Anyway, that’s what I feel like Kanye could turn into, whenever he comes out tonight. Sort of a mix of Cirque du Soleil's (was going to spell this as ‘circus olay’ had I not looked it up) and songs that you’ve never heard unless you got a shady dropbox link from someone with one of the songs.
But the ultimate story of Kanye doing an album listening party at Soldier Field is what this dude did to the field mere weeks before our injury-riddled team has to play on it.
Are you fucking kidding me, dude? I wasn’t even convinced it was a real picture when I saw it this morning. I don’t have much confidence in the Chicago Park District ever recovering from this, and I have zero confidence it will be in playing condition by September 19th for the home opener.
Forget everything I said in Wednesday’s newsletter. Maybe Justin Fields shouldn’t play any home game. That Bears/Bengals game is going to be a hazard to everyone involved.
I mean, what am I even looking at here? Did they dig up the entire field? Could they have not found a more reasonable way to put Kanye’s “childhood home” at midfield? This also certifies Kanye as a non-SGCTC-certified guy, because I know each and every one of you — if you become a world-famous superstar — would SHRIEK at this sight if they started creating this stage for you at the Bears home.
“What the absolute hell are you doing? Justin Fields may be starting here in a couple of weeks! STOP!”
And to those Justin Fields jersey-wearing members of the audience, are you not horrified at the same sight?
I’d be trying to enjoy Kanye singing with pantyhose on his head and then think of Justin Fields tearing his ACL avoiding pressure and my night would be ruined.
Anyway, hope you all enjoyed your night in Chicago. Can’t imagine a Kanye concert would have hit the same in Arlington Heights.
(Update: 10:49 p.m. and he’s still not out. So glad I’m about to go to bed.)
(Update: 11:45 p.m. and they’re driving fucking SUVs around the field. Good God.)
Something always inevitably drops right after my newsletter releases that I wish I could have included. In this case, I just decided to write another one.
In a press conference Wednesday, Matt Nagy said this:
There’s just so much here and I don’t even know where to start.
First of all, Nagy’s shtick has become so unbearable I’m embarrassed that I ever fell for it in the first place in 2018. The more you listen to him, the more you realize he never really says anything of substance. Ever. It’s like if you gave an artificial intelligence bot 1,000 halftime interviews from college football coaches over ten years and had him be the coach of the Bears. The guy talks a lot but actually never says anything at all.
Even if you’ve been watching the Bears YouTube version of their own Hard Knocks, in the first episode where he’s addressing the team for the first time, he gave such an awful, nonsensical speech about Virginia McCaskey and what it means to be a Bear and then just played a highlight of Giannis’ presser during the NBA finals that everyone has already seen 10 times. “This is us this year.” That’s all you got Mr. Mojo? A clip from an NBA player 20 years younger than you is the only message you have send to your team?
Secondly, the practicing, the tempo? What does that even mean? From everything I’ve ascertained from camp, the Bears offense seems to be struggling as much in practice as they had against the Bears defense in years prior. And everyone knows they haven’t exactly impressed in the actual preseason games.
If you’re such an offensive mind — one that deserves to have one of the 32 NFL head coaching jobs — how does it take your offense “a FEW YEARS” to get going? That’s absolute nonsense.
Let’s look at the best offensive coaches in the NFL right now, and see what they did in the first year with their respective teams.
Specifically, let’s first look at Andy Reid’s — Matt Nagy’s mentor and inspiration for this “offense” of his.
Per Football Reference:
The Kansas City Chiefs without Andy Reid in 2012: 32nd in the league in offense; with Reid in 2013: 6th in the league
The San Fransisco 49ers without Kyle Shanahan in 2016: 27th in the league in offense; with Shanahan in 2017: 20th in the league (as a tanking team)
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 2018 without Bruce Arians: 12th in the league in offense; with Arians in 2019: 3rd in the league
The Los Angeles Rams in 2016 without Sean McVay: 32nd in the league in offense; with McVay in 2017: 1st in the league
The New Orleans Saints in 2005 without Sean Payton: 31st in the league in offense; in 2006 with Payton: 5th in the league
To sum it up: In each of their first years with their respective teams, five of the current best offensive head coaches improved their team’s offensive rankings by: 26, 7, 9, 31, and 26 spots.
Since then, each of those coaches has taken their teams to the Super Bowl at least once, with three of the five winning one.
To be fair, in Nagy’s first year, he took the Bears dreadful offense under John Fox from 29th to 9th, with the cavaet bering that they were still 21st in total yards in 2018. I think we can figure why that offense probably seemed better than they were. The other coaches, though, improved their offenses substantially and then hit the ground running, proving that no good offense takes “years” to implement.
Since 2018, the Bears have been 27th in offense (2019) and 22nd in offense (2020).
Nagy also acts as if he has the same offensive personnel as he’s had for the past four years. As a subscriber smartly pointed out, his first and second string quarterbacks are both completely new to this offense of his!
He’s said a lot of dumb things, and done a lot of dumb things, that should have already gotten him fired. But these are the sorts of moments where I have to wonder if George McCaskey is sitting in his office, listening, thinking, ‘What in the world are we doing here?’
I listened to Jay Cutler’s first podcast “Uncut,” and I have a few observations. Firstly, Cutler is going to be on ESPN 1000 every Friday during the Bears season.
— Tom Waddle and Marc Silverman from ESPN 1000’s “Waddle and Silvy” were his first guests, so naturally, it was enjoyable. They used to have a radio show together, all the three of them, while Cutler was in Chicago. He still calls in from time to time and they always make for good craic together. He even credits them on this episode for exposing his personality — which many of you love — to Chicago. Had his unique personality not been revealed, I think there would probably be a lot less Cutler die-hards in the city. This was also good, because when those three just shoot the shit it really is great radio, or in this case, podcasting.
— Many of you know me as a bit of an anti-Cutler guy, and that’s sort of true. Moreso, I’m just less of a Cutler guy than so many people are, and Chicago’s collective affinity for him bothers me. For a guy that has literally admitted he never put much time into his craft, he sure has a lot of fans. Like, Mitch Trubisky wasn’t a good quarterback, but he tried his best at it. Cutler was far more talented and didn’t give much of a shit. What’s worse?
— Having said that, I do enjoy him in situations like this, just chatting with Waddle and Silvy about his days in Chicago (he clearly loves Chicago) and football in general. I’d like Cutler in most other scenarios I imagine, he’s a likable guy, and his don’t-give-a-shit attitude is funny. But that attitude I’d like to see in, like, my local bar’s bouncer. Not my team’s — that I already invest way too much into — quarterback, who they pay millions of dollars to per year to allegedly make us better.
— Cutler’s intro to the podcast, when he was just by himself trying to be a podcaster, was as bad as you’d imagine. Nearly laugh-out-loud funny. He sounded like Gordon Beckham trying to fill silence during a White Sox game.
— There are also great anecdotes from Waddle about his playing days, as always, that shine a light on just how different today’s NFL is compared to when he played in the early ‘90s.
On the topic of “Waddle and Silvy,” Charles Barkley went on their show this week, and was fantastic as usual. Here is the link for those interested. Here are a few things he said that are relevant to this newsletter.
Firstly, he said that he would be “absolutely shocked” if the Bulls do not make the playoffs.
He went on to say he thought “they had the best offseason of any NBA team,” mentioning something that few seem to grasp, that it’s not just that they added good players, they added them to a team that already had two really good players.
Has anyone mentioned yet that Zach LaVine has never played with good players his entire career, and that Nikola Vucevic has never done so in his prime? All we hear is praise for guys like Devin Booker, who didn’t do shit winning wise until he was surrounded with guys like Chris Paul.
Charles Barkley is admittedly not the smartest basketball mind ever. But he is a common sense guy, and sometimes, the NBA media seriously lacks that for whatever reason. If nothing else, it was a breath of fresh air.
For more insight on why the Bulls will be good, other than from my own mouth, read this excellent piece from a very smart basketball mind in Chris Herring over at Sports Illustrated.
Barkley went on to talk about Scottie Pippen, who I’m grateful for as a Bull but haven’t personally been able to stand for years now because of his half-wit comments about random topics every other month. If you remember, Pippen said that Barkley was a “fake tough guy” on his insane media tour a couple months ago.
His response to Pippen was nothing short of golden:
You know, I just feel bad, he’s trying to plug a book and a bourbon, apparently. I didn’t even respond when he came after me. Clearly he was going big game hunting if he’s going after me, Michael, and Phil [Jackson]. Not that I’m on their level. But clearly if you say something about me, it’s going to make headway.
But I just kind of felt bad. I’m like, ‘Scottie, I’ve always liked you. You were a good player. We ain’t never got in a fight, we never had no words. All of a sudden I’m a bad guy because you got a book and a bourbon coming out?’
I just kind of felt sad. You know what I felt like? When I’m watching TV and I’m seeing someone who’s going to box. And I’m like, ‘Yo man, you didn’t save your money?’…
Well, let me just say this: I might not be the toughest guy in the world, but I’m damn sure tougher than Scottie Pippen. Let’s get that out the way now. Listen, I don’t walk around saying I’m Billy Badass, but I can promise you one thing, I’m tougher than Scottie Pippen. Let me put that to rest right now.
Finally, he mentioned that he’s keeping tabs on the White Sox because him and Tony La Russa have been friends for a long time and that he’s actually texted with him about the team’s success. He said the Field of Dreams game was one of the best sporting events he’s watched ever, and then ended it by him even agreeing — on air — to throwing out the first pitch for a White Sox home playoff game.
Just a few notes to get you guys closer to the weekend. Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading as always and spreading the word. Go ahead and comment below:
This is why the Bears will Leave Soldier Field and Chicago. The Chicago Park District does not care what they do to that field and the disadvantage it creates.
Nagy......Hmmmm. Have I mentioned my thoughts on him?
Charles Barkley is one of my all time favorite people! Especially when he talks about the women of San Antonio.